My adult ad and ss tried the same demand and even went so far as to try to contact them in various ways behind my back. I stood my ground. If my husband would have tried to force the issue I would have probably set up uncomfortable situations with me around that I knew the adult steps would not like to attend but would appear reasonable to my husband. There is no way ii would have ever let him take my bios to them for an alone visit after what they pulled but I also had concerns for the safety of my children at that time. The idiot adult steps actually thought after years of the bare minimum interaction and obvious and blatant preference and favoritism towards sds children over their half sisters that their half sisters would side with them over their own parents. What narcistic idiots! It didn't work and my bios are now of an age that the adult steps no longer have a chance of having any negative influence over them. My bios know exactly what the adult steps are and what their intentions are. The one thing you have going for you is if you can delay and limit this interaction as much as possible the adult steps will play no meaningful role in your child's life no matter how much the adult steps may try.

It is amazing how little respect these adult offspring have for their parents. Your DH needs to see that that's what it is, his daughter's lack of respect for him.

He does need to stand up for you, but he also needs to stand up for himself. She should not be putting him in this position in the first place, he is still her father and she has no right to demand anything.

It doesn't matter if his daughter likes you or not, to constantly talk about you to her father, to exclude you, and to disrespect you, is disrespectful to HIM.

I don't really have any advice, as I can't imagine acting like this to my father. My adult SD's are not that bad, but my DH knows they do not respect him so he doesn't buy into their crap. I just think it's sad that your DH doesn't demand a little respect, not only for you but for himself.

stick to your boundaries. obviously, your DH has none. don't let them make you angry anymore. you are in control of whom you wish to see and whom you want your BS to see. she is toxic. i would not let a child of mine around someone like that, either. she would only try to poison his mind. she has no right to him.

disengage, disengage, disengage! tell you husband that you have the right to live in peace in your own home, with or without him. he is the root of your problems.

you may have to be willing to leave. there are worse things.