ADVICE NEEDED - BM'S POISON ONLY EXTENDS TO SD'S AND NOT SS'S
My partner's two sons (SS33 & SS29) accept that he has moved on, and have come around. They are willing to socialize with both my partner and I. This is just recent as they previously only socialized with my partner. I am thankful for these small steps forward.
However, my partner's daughters (SD25 & SD21) have not accepted that their father has moved on after 15-16 years of separation. They are still living with BM, working at jobs; not paying rent as to save up for a place with their own partners (husband & fiance). To be fair, SD21 has just finished her schooling.
BM cannot afford the mortgage on her own with her two daughters not paying rent, so she relies upon my partner to pay 50% of the mortgage as long as they own the house together.
This was fine, but it was agreed that the home would be sold in 2021 as the youngest daughter just finished school. Well, guess what, folks? That's not happening.
My partner's divorce process is progressing, but BM is doing everything in her power to prevent the sale of the matrimonial home, including convincing the SD's not to move out any time soon. My partner is forbidden from discussing this with his daughters nor do they want to speak to him about it either.
I believe that if they want to live with BM and their husband (SD25)/fiance (SD21), but don't want to contribute financially, then they all could move to a smaller house in the same area, which BM could afford, liberating their father's equity and severing ties to BM.
Although a spendthrift, BM does have a steady income and an excellent pension which she refuses to share with my partner. She can afford more than she is letting on, yet provides excuse after excuse as to why the matrimonial home cannot be sold.
We could get a judge to force the sale of the matrimonial home, but my partner is afraid of his daughters hating him for uprooting them from their own home; a home that both of them were so eager to leave before COVID.
SD's refuse to speak with my partner about his moving on with his life. They would prefer to speak to BM about this as she continues to brainwash them.
News flash: BM has alienated the SD's from their own father. Who knows what they think of him? They say they love him, but actions speak louder than words.
My partner has an excellent relationship with both of his sons, but not a good relationship at all with his daughters. They refuse to meet him outside of the matrimonial home (which he no longer visits) and rarely text or reply to his texts.
I feel bad for him as I have an excellent relationship with all of my children, even my eldest who lives with his father. The other three live with me, and adore my partner. All parties who accept us moving on are male children, while his female children are BM's proxies.
What can we do to keep the divorce process moving along?