Adult stepson has antisocial personality; malignant narcissist, psychopathy 2 sociopath
I have been married for 24 years to my husband and we have a great relationship. I am seen and heard, supported, loved and we have a healthy relationship and marriage. My DH is my best friend and business partner. My stepson was 7 when we met and I tried so hard to love and accept him. But he was a little monster that hated me from day one because of BM he was taught to hate and his little psyche was broken before I even came in the picture. He was thrown on us age 14 his meth addicted mother washed her hands of him. We tried everything to show him how loving parents treat each other, that we are a team on each other's side. That he couldn't manipulate us to split. We were asked to leave 2 churches because of SS. We were constantly calling the police 911 emergency during his violent teen years. Finally, it exploded when he was 17 and he was charged as an adult for him and his friends assaulting me. He took a plea deal for family violence and 2 year fixed prison sentence. My DH never went to visit SS once or put any money on his books. We worked on repairing the destruction, moved far away and I have been under the care of neurologist for post concussion syndrome, major depression, nightmare disorder, panic attacks and PTSD since the incident that sent him to prison. Fast forward, 4 years ago we became grandparents to our beautiful GS1. He abused the mother and she got full custody of GS1. We are on good terms with her to this day. The only way SS could visit his child was supervised visitation at my home every Sunday, from 9am-6pm. I allowed this, with some very strong boundaries with adult SS. We done this for 3.5 years and we are bonded and loved GS1 so much. My stepson seemed to be doing okay (mask) so I wrote a letter to the judge saying I believe SS should now have unsupervised visitation. Almost immediately, within weeks, SS got a different woman pregnant with GS2. There relationship ended with physical, mental, emotionally abuse just like all his other relationships. This was during Covid and we only got to meet GS2 twice because of the pandemic. I told them I didn't want to be involved, to keep us out of it that we just want to be grandparents. Well, they are both toxic and after excruiating abuse from both of them, I have went no contact with both. The straw with SS son was so ugly and he said he was taking grandchildren from us. And he is demanding from his father inheritance from our 16 acre farm. We have told him No, that our obligation is to each other and he is an adult now to make his own life. We don't have a will, but our farm is Right of Survivorship so it will never go through probate and will pass to either me or my husband. So are all our accounts and our S corp business. SS is living around the corner from us and stalking and spying on us. SS and BM are living like parasites with BM's elderly daddy. Hoovering and waiting on his demise. I believe BM has put inheritance in SS mind and she is telling him that I'm keeping him from his daddy. So now, instead of me and my planning on the 2nd half of our life. We were thinking of selling the farm and moving to Fla in 55 and older community. We are now going to have to address issue of SS hoovering us waiting on our demise, so him and BM can try to take what me and my husband built over our 24 year marriage. We had nothing when we started. Advice please?