Adult stepson expecting support forever - advice wanted
Does any one have any experience or advice for dealing with an adult stepson that continues, at age 21, to request support from both his Dad (my husband) and his mother?
He graduated from high school almost 4 years ago and has not worked in 6 months. He has worked a little part time off and on (less than half the time) since high school but mostly he has lived with friends in casual couch surfing / garage etc. arrangements or with various relatives and never really been self supporting for any period of time before lapsing back into mooching mode. Right now he is living with his mother but wants to move back to our city and has been asking to move back in with us. I don't want him to move back in and so far my husband is respecting my wishes. In the past when we have agreed to let this stepson move in "temporarily" it has been difficult to get him to get a job and move out, and he does not respect the "drug free house" rule (he smokes marijuana and started doing cocaine last year - I don't know what he is doing now at his mom's, where he has been for the last 5 months). His last roommates kicked him out for behaving strangely - agression, hostility, bizarre acts - this was at the height of the cocaine taking. He has called all his friends in town and nobody will take him in any more. He has asked more than once to move in here - I worry that my husband will either cave in and say he can come to our home again, or start resenting me for trying to prevent him from coming here.
Any advice? Any one else out there with grown stepkids that won't get a job?