Adult stepdaughter - ANGRY!
Back again after a while but really with the same issue! My adult SD (22)!!!
So my last post was a vent about Father's day. DH has 3 adult children, I too have 3 adult children. On Father's day, none of his kids bothered to do anything, no cards. He got a call from one DS during the morning and a text from other DS and DD late in the day. Basic words, no affection. They all live within 2 miles. My 3 visited with cards, gifts, beer for him they live 6 miles away.
Next event was DH birthday. Same thing, nothing from his, my 3 arranged gifts etc. He got a text from one son, other son called but the call was about something else, daughter text the next morning cliaming she had a lot on and had been poorly.
I cannot explain just how nasty I find this and how it angers me. These kids have always had their hand out previously. DH toughened up a bit over the last couple of years and I think this is why they dont bother. They can no longer get their own way.
Anyway, history with DSD, I have been verbally abused, lied about, she has told lies about DH, she has tried to turn her family against me (DH's siblings), the list is endless. She has a DS of 3.5 yrs which she has used to try and get her way. She said she didn't want me near him, then she did when it suited her. Never has there been an apology!
So now, after no contact for some time, DH has to have surgery. She has known about this but hasn't bothered about it. He has now got a date (10 days time) and she wants to be the usual creep! She sent a number of voice messages at the weekend from her son to DH. It was quite clear she was telling him what to say and that she was trying to pull on the heart strings! She then video called and wanted to know about DH, any other time she hasn't bothered. This angered me massively! DH and I had a huge argument because I said I don't want her fake love now and I don't want to waste any time on her. He felt guilty, he is missing out on seeing his grandson etc. (DSD has always wanted him to see his grandson without me, but we have never given in to this).
Now, I am angry and stressing because I do not want her pretending to be the caring daughter just because he has to go into hospital. The thought of her contacting him while he is poorly is like waving a red rag to a bull. I feel she will try to manipulate him, guilt trip him, I just cannot deal with it.
How can I move away from this anger? Should I let DH visit grandosn without me as his DD wants? I am so scared that this is going to break us, but stubborn enough to not let her have her way!