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Adult step children and Christmas

Franki's picture

I have 2 adult SD who are only 12 years younger than me. I'm quite sure that is another reason they hate me because dad left them for a younger woman compared to their mother. My husband and I have a very successful business. The SD had not spoken to their father in 14 years. Then 4 years ago he had a heart attack and almost passed. Then they began bombarding him with phone calls, etc. I never received a phone call, email or any communication. They use their own children as pawns in order to get money from their dad. Until now, they have always lived over 1000 miles from us. Recently one SD moved two towns over from us in a house we own and rent to her. We were informed, her sister and daughter were coming over Christmas vacation. To make it worse, my husbands exwife is coming, as well as her mother(ex motherinlaw). They Weill all be in the rental house and the SD and thier kids expect to be here at our house for Christmas Eve. Now this has always been when we celebrate so that the kids can go to other sides of the family on Christmas Day. There is a total of 6 children ( 3 my husbands, 3 mine). No one wants them around because the few times they have ever participated in anything it was a disaster. If we go somewhere, they drive around till they find us. We are not safe in our own home because they will come anyway, which usually ends with the police escorting them away. It's just a nightmare. So my question to anyone out there that may find this familiar is how do we survive Christmas? My husband says they can come for gifts but if ANYTHING is started they will be asked to leave and told never to contact us again or ever come around. Help

Orange County Ca's picture

Go to Las Vegas. You'd be amazed at how many people are there then. Book your room and flight now. Seriously its that popular. Spend a whole week there with Christmas the 4th day of your visit. That way they can't catch you before or after.

Don't say a word to them, just take a cab out for a 6 AM flight and disappear. Once they start calling Daddy he just tells them the truth.

Hawaii is also a good choice. It's so popular and they're so geared to visitors the rooms and flights are inexpensive. Lots of stuff to see. Use the same schedule as above. I've spent a month there and rented a condo instead of a hotel room. They come completely furnished with kitchen, vacuum and sheets. You do all the housekeeping so it keeps the costs to you down. Rent a car, small one.

toywas's picture

Christmas was always my favorite holiday UNTIL I met DH, then we got married, and every holiday is a total nightmare that lasts for 2 long ass weeks.

What a way to start the new year off!

Franki's picture

For all of you , here's a little more detail. One of the two SD is tolerable. She fell on hard times and I rented my rental house to her to help her out. As long as she isn't with the other SD she is a fun girl. We helped her because she seemed to have changed. But as I said I really don't know once sister, mom, and grandma get here. There is a clause in the rental contract pertaining to guests over 14 days, so that's covered. This is the only reason we know the plans because of the written notice she gave us. The SS has lived with us growing up and I love him like my own, as well as his wife and children. Usually christmas is all about the kids. When we get our grown children gifts, it's not big. They get an item or two or a gift certificate. I do agree with the comment that my husband may still be holding on to hope and this is why we send the SD gifts. We have always sent gifts to their children. My husband and I are on the same page and we would like to have a Christmas with all our combined family. However, the mother and grandmother are not invited to my home. So Christmas Eve we eat and open gifts. This is where the problem lies. The SD forces their kids on us and make everything between their kids and thier brothers a competition. I think when it gets close and with all of thier phone calls and texts, we will leave. The business can take a holiday shutdown, the security can watch the place and I can save on medical, funeral, or whatever other unforeseen exspense so occur. We can go somewhere and take my three adult girls and his adult son and leave the SDs far behind. My husband says if they push him much more we will give the SD a 30 day vacate notice, put the house for sale and screw up their agenda. As for whoever said physco, absolutely. My husbands ex used to bring her dates to our house and sit on the county easements and write in a notebook what happened at our house. His SD would wait until my husband was traveling for work and drive by the house throwing eggs or follow me wherever I went. After all these years I really think that with all the police reports we should be able to commit one of them. Really, sometimes I'm sarcastic. Thanks for all the help everyone and will welcome any thoughts or ideas.

Tcandme's picture

A couple people have questioned why are you getting the adult skids gifts? I just want to say I get my adult kids gifts from us so why shouldn't my SD receive gifts from us as well? To the people who said this, do you not get your own adult kids gifts either? Just curious.
As far as your situation goes for Christmas, I like Orange County Ca.'s idea of going on a trip at Christmas, this would save you a big headache, make this trip your gift to each other. Best of luck with all of it!