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Adult Skids: Worried about your parents' money? Then also worry about their BILLS!

2Tired4Drama's picture

I've seen some interesting discussions on this board related to adult skids and their opinions about parents' money and/or future inheritance. Here's a recent story that may be food for thought. Every situation is different, of course, but this particular lawsuit takes parents, adult kids, and money into a whole new realm! Add in stepparents and whether that falls under definition of "parent" and it gets REAL interesting. Maybe that adult skid who hates you now may have to pay for your nursing home care later! Smile

"Son Hit With Aging Parent's $93K Nursing Home Bill"

You typically can't be held responsible for your parents' debts. The exception may be if the debt is a whopping nursing-home bill.

Pennsylvania's Superior Court recently ruled that a nursing home in that state could go after the son of an elderly woman who had left the country owing a $93,000 bill for a six-month stay.

Health Care & Retirement Corporation of America pursued the son, a 47-year-old restaurant owner named John Pittas, under the state's "filial responsibility" law. Twenty-eight other states and Puerto Rico have similar laws, which create a legal duty for children to financially support indigent parents.

According to Katherine Pearson of Penn State's Dickinson School of Law, the states with filial-responsibility laws are: Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia and West Virginia.

In most states, the laws are seldom enforced. Filial-responsibility codes date from colonial times in America and, even before that, to the "poor laws" of the Elizabethan era in England, Pearson said. After the advent of Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, which prevented seniors from falling into abject poverty, some states repealed their laws, and others stopped enforcing what remained on the books.

"What we've seen is that family members who can support each other, do support each other," Pearson said, "unless there's a strong personal reason why you don't."

When there has been enforcement in the recent past, it typically was because an adult child had defrauded the parent or was otherwise at fault in creating the parent's poverty.

That wasn't the case with Pittas, and elder-law attorneys are concerned that the court's ruling could encourage other nursing homes to sue family members for unpaid bills. Some worry that increasingly strapped states might use the laws to get reimbursement for custodial care.

"Just because they haven't done so yet doesn't mean that they won't," said elder-law attorney Michael Amoruso, a past president of the New York chapter of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. "All the states are struggling for money."

herewegoagain's picture

Ah, yes, I am in Puerto Rico and it DEFINITELY applies here. The department of family services WILL go after "adult children" if the parents are elderly and cannot support themselves...lol DH and I used to laugh all the time about it...as we said, "BM keep taking money from us, when we don't have a pot to piss in, we'll sue your daughter to take care of us..." lol And of course, it applies to ALL family members here...so with our special needs kid, we could even have him sue SKID to support him once we are gone...hmmm

herewegoagain's picture

PS - now don't get me wrong, I love my grandmother, but she has plenty of money to live on and my mother manages it...she complains about my mom not giving her MORE money ALL the time, although she doesn't need it...she wants to give it all away, she gives every ahole she meets money...and my mom has told her that she will give her ALL the money to spend on herself and for the occassional present, but no way will she allow her to give all her money away...because yes, my grandmother says "well, if I use it all up, then you guys can support me"...lol Yes, I would do that for my grandma if she spent all her money traveling, or doing things for herself...but I'd be damned if I will support her because she gives money to every idiot she meets, ie. she pays for doctor's coffee at hospitals, at office visits, etc...like they freaking need money...

2Tired4Drama's picture

It also should give those not yet married another reason to reconsider. Let's say you are married and your spouse chooses to give away your joint money to their adult skids (further education, houses, cars, vacations, etc.) then winds up in a nursing home. As the spouse, you are the first one liable for your spouse's debts. But if you are NOT the spouse and have always kept your finances separate, then perhaps the filial rules may kick in and they'd go after adult skids for nursing home care. Just guessin'...

bi's picture

i will not be taking care of my mother when she can't take care of herself. she can to a nursing home that is state ran and her social security will pay for. she didn't take care of my brother and i when we were children, so we owe her NOTHING.

2Tired4Drama's picture

bi- Better double-check the laws in your state! Some State laws say that in order to NOT provide your parent with support, you have to demonstrate that the parent completely abandoned you for AT LEAST TEN YEARS while you were a minor child.

The whole point of this posting was so that people could become educated on what the laws are in their state. As they say in the article, more and more nursing homes will be coming after money from adult kids, since the States don't have it.

Social security checks alone will not cover the costs of nursing homes. And applying for medicaid benefits and coverage (once the person has no more money or assets left) can take a good long while - that's what happened in this case. The nursing home did not want to wait any longer for appeals to Medicaid on the mother's application, so they went after the son.

I will be waiting to see what happens in the case of a stepparent - I wonder what the courts will rule there ...

bi's picture

if it ever comes down to it, i will fight with everything i have in me. i think the fact that i ran away from home at 15 and got pregnant at 16 shows what an uninvolved parent she was. i never lived with her again after i ran off. i did not bring her into this world and she is not my responsibility. the law will have one hell of a fight on their hands if they EVER try to make her my responsibility. she doesn't even care enough about us to have life insurance to cover a funeral, she said she doesn't care what happens cuz she'll be dead. she just expects me to fork over the money for it. she is a rare breed of selfish. this is a woman who chose to spend her welfare money on cigarettes and bingo instead of shoes and food for her kids.

sandye21's picture

Does this mean that Skids might be responsible for the care of an elderly step parent? If the step parent can prove they cared for skids for 10 years? Could get really interesting but this is a double edged sword. This could mean that it is up to the children to make the decision of location and quality of care. It is my opinion but I'm not sure the law is fair for some people like Bi and myself whose parents did not sacrifice much to our care.