Adult Children Living at Home - Using drugs and stealing money
Recently my stepson, who is 23, lost his job and quickly ran out of money. A weeks after this a friend of the family was able to help him get a great job which required him to travel to specific construction job areas. The job pays well – so all should be great, but it isn’t. There are gaps in these jobs which means he has to find other means of employment in between.
Shortly before he started this new job, he would show up at our house during the day while we were at work and stole all the cash from the house. Then he stole money that one of my girls left for me and twice more right out of my purse while I was in the house.
The story gets worse, when he returned from his first onsite job he needed a place to stay so his father told him he could stay with us. His father is fully aware of the money that has been stolen, but wanted to give him a chance to get on his feet. Now I am on guard because I can’t trust him.
Since I know he does drugs occasion and drinks a lot, combined with the stealing I have started to inspect his room. I have not allowed him any proivacy (which may be wrong, but it is my house). It is my house after all and it is a full time job keeping your eyes on the thief. At first glance without looking to hard only days after he moved in, right in the night stand was remnants of marijuana and low and behold some other narcotics. I made his father aware of it and he said he would deal with it, which amounted to just telling him no drugs in the house. Two days later I find my husband’s change jar hidden in the night stand, a day later a marijuana pipe.
I want him to move out. I do not want a liar, a thief, or drugs in my house. You might be asking so what is the problem just tell him to leave. However, it is not that simple, and the answer is his father. He will not ask him to leave because he feels some guilt about what he “never” did with him when he grew up. He allows his son to manipulate him into believing he is some angel, and even though he has seen the drugs, and knows about the stolen money, he just keeps turning a blind eye.
I am trying to manage my marriage without making him feel like he has to choose between his son or me, but this is my home and I don’t think I should have to tolerate this in my own house. I certainly would not tolerate this from my own children.