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4.5 months married and I am out

Jojo4124's picture

I just want to thank you all for the info and validation.  I left him today. Can't divorce this man fast enough.

We got home from our 2 week  vacation yesterday. 23 yo ss was staying at our house to take care of the dogs. 

Ss says the dogs went to the bathroom a lot in the house...meaning he didn't take them outside.  Dirty dishes everywhere, used washcloths on the shower floor, some of my things were touched.

We found out that ss invited a friend over who was bringing fentanyl but got arrested before he got to our house.

Stbx found 2 loaded guns in the house and a lot of pot which is illegal in our state.

2 of the 23 yo triplets came on our trip and made it hell mostly. 

So I packed the essentials and basics and am staying with a friend til I get on my feet.

I don't believe stbx would ever change his enabling, enmeshed, and emotionally incestuous ways.

Gotta calm down, get back to work, then file for divorce. 

Thank you all for this forum. I can't tell you enough how your stories and comments validated me.

I hope the best for each and every one of you!!!

SteppedOut's picture

Well, you realized you made a mistake and now you are correcting it. Congratulations for loving yourself enough to not sit and stew in the toxic step-hell slop until your physical, emotional and finacial self are spent! 

Now, move on, be happy and for the love of everything you hold dear... stick to men without kids! Hell. Be single. Nothing wrong with single. 

Jojo4124's picture

Yes I thought I was strong enough but can already feel physical in constant stress is messing up my stomach! Single life for now. I will NEVER EVER marry a man who has kids...and preferably not an ex wife...I may be single forever  lol

futurobrillante99's picture

Girrrrrrl. I said the same stuff after my exit from steplife. Then I met a widower!! I thought it would be EASIER to not have an ex wife around. No one tells you that a deceased wife is a SAINT and many widower race to replace and get their earthly needs met while never dealing with their grief.

Our relationship seems to be paying off after a rough first year, but if it doesn't work out, I'm cool with being single to the end of my days.

Olivia2020's picture

When your physical and mental wellness were negatively impacted, you knew it was time. I made the mistake of getting married in January, lived in the house we bought to be our marital home to find out deal-breakers after we married. On paper, marriage lasted two months...took four months to get it finalized, just a few weeks ago. The next few months for you will be difficult, please seek a therapist to help with grieving the loss of the relationship, anger, trauma and all the other 'stuff' you've been through. Please forgive yourself and be kind to yourself. 

I moved back to be closer to the beach and through the challenges of the corona and being alone with my dog, getting my happy back now feels amazing! 

So glad you drop-kicked that drama and chaos to start your journey to reclaim your will be so nice again when your energy goes to positive and healthy things in your new life! Sending positive vibes and hugs! 

CLove's picture

Get thee to a lawyer.

And enjoy your freedome. Glad that you got out in time, to save your own sanity and self.

hereiam's picture

So happy for you that you have made the decision to get out of this mess.

Yes, please look into an annulment.