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21 yr old SD calls her father "Daddy"..........REALLY?????

1989's picture

Hi. My SD who is 21 calls my DH, her father, "Daddy" still. Isn't she a bit old to be calling him that? I stopped calling my Dad, "daddy" when I was about 13. I think she does it just to irritate me. She has 2 kids herself one is 5 & one is 3. I consider her to be a full fledged adult even tho she is living off the system (welfare) and they all live with her mom! She says she will always be her daddy's baby! She needs to start acting her freaking age.....

Journey1982's picture

My mom is 80 years old and still refers to her father as daddy. I work with a woman who is 53 and she calls her father daddy. I don't see the problem if that is what they are both comfortable with.

Anon2009's picture

I agree with HRNYC in that you can't control what she calls others. If you say something about it, it may start a fight with DH.

Something that has helped me along my step parenting journey is learning how to pick and choose my battles wisely. This is not a mountain to die on. It is, though, likely coming through the justified anger you feel in how she treats you and how your husband does nothing about it.

How she treats you? That's another matter. You don't have to take her crap and be a doormat. So what if she's your DHs daughter? Would you take this from a stranger? I doubt it. She's rude to you in your home? Kick her a$$ out. She's rude to you elsewhere? You leave. If you only brought one car and DH is there he can figure out a way home for himself. She looks at you rudely? Say, "SD, do you have something in your eye?" Put her on the spot.

simifan's picture

called my Father Daddy until the day he died - I was 27. It tends to be far more common in the south.

JustAgirl42's picture

Although, there is a difference between 'daddy' and 'daaaaaddyyyyy'. Wink

Orange County Ca's picture

In the far west but raised by parents who were raised in Michigan I always called them Ma and Pop and my 40yo kids call me Pop. I think you have a problem with this "girl" and its name is jealousy.
Why don't you let your husband have whatever relationship with his daughter that he wants? At the end of the day he goes to bed with you.

Shaman29's picture

My mother and my aunt referred to my grandfather as Daddy until the day he died, and they were well into their 30's when he passed.

My mother, when speaking to us kids about our Dad, refers to him as Daddy.

To clarify, when speaking to him directly it's his given name or honey or something.

It could be a cultural thing and something she's always called him and will always call him.

I say, grit your teeth and learn to ignore it. I know it's nails on the chalkboard to you but to them it's normal.

Kes's picture

I agree with Justagirl - it is probably the MANNER and tone in which she says it which annoys more than the actual word. When you have SDs that behave like mini wives and smarm all over your DH it is exasperating.

Rags's picture

It may be a Southern thing. People in the Southern US tend to call their fathers "Daddy" all of their lives.

evilstepmotherJ's picture

My SD19 only call her dad DADDY when she wanted something so I actually called her out on it, laughing I said "DAAADDDY", and she no longer does it. It definitely is in the tone and usage.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

That's so true! My BIL does that, and he is an old man, and both his parents have been gone for a long time.
I like how it sounds when he says it: carries so much love and longing... he does the same when referring to
other people's parents. I find it sweet.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

She may be stuck in a very immature phase of development and "daddeee" is a grating reminder that she is a little girl who needs to be rescued. As i have just read on shrink4men, women of that kind do NOT want to be rescued - they want to be enabled! There is a BIG difference. It sounds like your YSD is using regression to avoid having to grow up, take stock, take responsibility for her actions, make amends if needed, and move on in a productive fashion. Next she'll suck her thumb!

Disillusioned's picture

Both my DH's daughters always called him dad, and maybe it's cultural because where I live in Canada no, you don't generally hear adults call their fathers "daddy" my H's daughters never did until my YSD turned 15...then when she really got into make-up, "tart clothes" Biggrin as my DH refers to it, just really wanting to be noticed, then right around that time for the first time she started referring to DH as "daddy"

I found it weird....from age 11/12 when DH and I first met it was always "dad" then 3 or 4 years later she turned 15 and for the first time starts the whole "daaadeeee" thing???

And yes she would turn it on if she wanted something too....

I always pegged it to her wanting attention, wanting to be that special something to DH...a little like Step-Aside's YSD, I think SA was right on in her analysis of it

But it is between my SD and DH.

YSD also refers to BM as "mommy" she is almost 30 and will refer to DH and BM as "daddy" and "mommy"...guess I've gotten used to it as it doesn't really bother me

DH's eldest doesn't refer to DH as anything other than dad, always has

I can definitely see how it can be annoying but again, it's between my DH and his daughters. I'm fortunate to have a good relationship with my YSD, and really, that is what I care about most.

elle94's picture

I'm surprised you got "flamed" by some of these posters on here...... No matter the reason for her calling him daaaady, i think it's immature too and she probably is doing it to annoy you. i think it's retarded and childish that my SD18 still calls her dad "daaaaaady". and i also hate the fact that my SD is only nice to "daaaady" when she wants something. it's annoying to hear a sweet name like that come out of such a demonic little person.

elle94's picture

To SA and Generic (and everyone else), I am very sorry for using the word "retarded". I most certainly wasn't trying to offend anyone. I hope you can accept my sincerest apologies.

Rags's picture

I have to disagree with you that SD-21 is a full fledged adult. With the exception of the mentally or physically disabled, full fledged adults do not live off of the system (welfare) or with their mommy.

whatamess's picture

You don't like her and if she called him Mr "last name" you wouldn't like that either. When you don't like someone, you hate everything they do, say or are. I get it. Mine only uses "daddy" when she wants something out of him. She was in her late 20s and bought herself a Daddy's Little Girl shirt. Um, yeah.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

"Retarded" is not a word that can be used without ruffling people's feathers any more.
In my state we have had a campaign against the use of the R word, and it has been removed from the state constitution. Please consider it akin to the N word, and stop using it.

People who struggle with intellectual disabilities deserve dignity just like the rest of us.

If you SD is developmentally delayed, please find other ways to characterize her.

Generic's picture

1. PLEASE enough with the "retarded" talk. What's it about this site and that word? How about learning disability or developmentally delayed. Of course, if she's not at all mentally challenged, then it's probably best you don't describe her as such.

2. I actually call my DH "Daddy" when we're with the kids. He IS Daddy in our house. I don't call him "Daddy" in the bedroom though. But, we are intact so obviously my opinion or input means nothing here to some.

Generic's picture

I agree. I cringe when I hear it and makes me automatically judge the person saying it. Ironic because they are usually using it to describe something stupid or ignorant.

Justme54's picture

I agree with other OP....manner and tone is more the issue. The manner seems clear...I will always be daddy's baby. To that, I say...WHATEVER! Consider the source. She is a BIG BABY...with kids.

Onefootout's picture

Scanning some of the other posts, sounds like it depends on the context. Is she calling him Daddy for cultural reasons or to be manipulative. If it's to kiss his butt or as an affectation in order to sound cute, then I would definitely find it annoying.

My sister calls my dad "pops." She always says "hey Pops!" when she wants something from him. No one in my family calls my dad pops, we call him dad. He has three daughters. Only the baby sister calls him this, and she's the one who kisses his butt more than anyone else.

I laughed and talked to my dad about this, told him I didn't care too much for her calling him Pops, he laughed and said, why, because it's an affectation?

Exactly. My dad knows my baby sis all too well. Love my baby sis, but she's just the way she is.

Unless there's a particular reason, cultural or traditional for using "daddy," yes, I too would find it annoying.

CNewton's picture

Gross
How about this one - PAPPY?
Counselors call it "attention wh _ _ e." Yes, believe it or not, thats what they call this. I was shocked, but they actually use this term.

Smith75's picture

I live in the UK and calling your dad 'daddy' past the age of 12 is weird! Especially with a Brit accent! My SKs call my DH daddy and he loves it!