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20YR SD with a 2yrs baby is a hot mess and its killing me :(

dominicanpapi717's picture

Too much drama in my life rite now and I'm not sure if I should just cut my loses or continue to fight for my relationship?
Ok here it goes, I'm living with my GF and her two kids 17&14 plus my two kids 12&8.... These four kids are great they get along fine and follow our rules as best as they can. But my GF OLDEST daughter who is a complete MESS and she is only 20yrs. She has managed to get kicked out of 8 homes in 2yrs, her man is in jail , she has a two yrs old daughter, no job, no GED, no license ,and lies smoke weed and steals. (Ok let me take a breath) She is a huge problem for us especially me, she drained her om for money ALL the time which puts a damper on our future finances . She has told her mother that she has to move back to florida because once again she is getting kicked out of her aunte house. I told my GF she couldn't move in with us there is no space plus I do not trust her around our children. So we decided to move her into a room with her daughter for the time being until she can find a job. And get on her feet. Which we both know is never going to happen. It's like if my GF is in denial or just buying time until I get fed up with this whole situation. To add some icing on the cake my SD on the drive from Alabama to florida got pulled over for speeding got her car towed for no registration and no licence, and is sitting at a gas station to once again looking for another hand out from us to pay to get her car out and towing fees. Yes this is what I have to deal with all the time with this girl and my GF just don't get it... When and where do you draw the line here as a Boyfriend and as Mother? Fyi we did send her the money to get back on the road but still what do I do to make this work out? Or do I just walk away from this Sad

Orange County Ca's picture

Isn't it obvious that neither girl nor mother have the incentive to change? If you except a financially secure retirement you'll have to get out of the situation.

Be realistic even separating your finances only leaves you at age 65 with enough money to care for one person and living with a broke girlfriend. Now what?

What a shame mother can't be convinced that she's just enabling her daughter to continue this lifestyle and postponing the eventual bottoming out? By dragging it out it will only be a harder hit.

Find a book here that seems appropriate and buy it. Ask her to read it and tell her that if she can't agree that this kid needs to be cut loose you sadfully will have to leave:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_3_14?url=search-alias%3Dstripbook...

dominicanpapi717's picture

Thanks for all the great advise.... I figure I will give them both a month to decide and cut them both off if they continue with this BS... I think this is fair for everyone. Wish me luck.