19 year old stepson is going to end my marriage
I'm at the end of my rope! My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 12 years. He has a child from a previous marriage who is almost 19. We have 2 kids together who are 9 & 11.
Ss mom is a drug addict who pops in and out of his life. She has moved across the country so he sees her maybe once a year now. She previously lived in the same city. When he was younger he would go between our house and hers week to week but often staying with us longer. She almost died in a bike accident about 6 years ago. Her and her BF were drunk and high and lost control. SS lived with us full time after that for about 3 years. He visited his mom off and on. I suspect SS started using drugs when he was about 13. At 16 we found pics of him using drugs on social media, he informed us that he likes weed and it's healthy for him and he will continue to do it. There was a big blow out and he moved to his moms she allowed the drugs. 1 year later he was back because he and his mom couldnt get a long.
I was married to a severe drug addict before marrying my current spouse. It was a horrible experience. He started out with weed as a teenager and was a full blown cocaine addict by the time he was 25. He was very mean and abusive. Because of our pasts we completely against drugs.
when SS moved back in my husband told him there was no drugs allowed in the house and no talk about drugs to our kids. 1 year later I found out he's been vaping in his room and forcing my 11 son to hang out with him in his room while he vapes and talks to him about the drugs he's using. I was so furious! My husband refused to kick him out. We went on holidays last summer, he was again vaping and I'm sure doing other things in the house as well as giving out the code to our front door to his friends. When I confronted him he told me he should be allowed to vape cause no one is there and he trusts these people with his life so there's no reason he can't give out the code to MY HOUSE. This is just a few instances of the disrespect. He is very mean to my son and daughter mostly my son though, I am constantly stepping in and telling him to leave him alone or mind his business. He just laughs and says you mind your business, I could slap that stupid grin off his face. I can't stand this kid anymore. I have tried to get a long with him but he refuses to follow rules, refuses to be respectful. I am the person he comes to when he needs something and up until now have always been there, always helped him hoping he would turn around and stop being such a shithead. It's not happening and I'm tired of being his doormat. I'm tired of worrying about my kids and the influence he is having on them. He managed to barely graduate high school then enrolled in college ( which we fully funded) and stopped going 2 month later and pretended he was still going. I knew something was up, I knew he was lying. My husband is so gullable, he believes the bs that comes out of this kids mouth. All he does is lie, steal and cause chaos. I don't know what other types of drugs he's doing. I haven't found any in the house yet but that doesn't mean it's not here. He comes and goes at all hours. A couple weeks ago he went out at 2:30am and came home at 5:30am. This is not a dam frat house!
we had a terrible Christmas due to my husband and I fighting over this. I want this kid out. Hes 19, has a job that he barely goes to (not my problem).
my husband refuses to kick him out. I have said we can find him a room to rent, help him with the first couple months of rent. He can take all of his furniture. He still refuses to kick him out. I don't want my kids around him anymore, he is a terrible influence, between the drugs and my kids seeing him disrespect me all the time.
i know that this is a result of my husband not disciplining him when he was younger. Consequences for him has always been a fight. Husband has so much guilt it's ridiculous. His guilt should be over allleimg this kids to become a monster!
ive gone to counseling several times trying to deal with this and learn different ways to handle it but I just can't anymore. I'm the only one trying
My husband is a good guy and loves all of his kids so much. He doesn't see what I see. Ss will never behave this way when husband is around. The school stuff and bring out all hours is just teenage stuff in his eyes.
ive told my husband that I am done, this is it. I will do what I need to do protect my kids. He just can't believe that I would ask him to kick his son out. i can't believe that he expects us to continue to live like this. I am preparing to separate if he continues to refuse. If that happens I will insist that SS not he allowed around my kids. I really don't want to go this far but I don't know what else to do!
husband and I are also running a business together. Anyone else in a situation like mine?