You are here

17 SD Wants the Cake and eat it too!

13BOIF's picture

OK, so I have been reading post from other memebers here to help me with my situation at home. This is my first post so here I go. My wife thinks I'm too strict when it comes down to our "House Rules" So to stop our weekly arguement ritual we decided that she would handle her kids dicipline. I'm not all 100% in agreement with it being that its "Our Home" and all rules should apply to everyone. We have a daugther of our own and I'm very clear to what I expect and boundaries, but when it comes to her daughters she is very easy going. Anyways, to avoid issues we decided for her to do the dicipline on her daughters, however, the issue comes down to financial. Eventhough I'm not to have a say on their dicipline or set rules my wife was really upset when I told her i shouldnt be held responsible to them on financial things. Like going out and buying them an Ipad for Xmas. My wife thinks I'm wrong...Am I the only one that things other wise???? Forgot to mention that SD's live with us full time.

jumanji's picture

No. You are not wrong. If Mom wants to get them an IPad? Or one each? It's on HER. Not you.

Note: I am not a stepparent.

Orange County Ca's picture

My wife and I kept our finances apart and still do 30 years later because I didn't want to see my money flowing in the step-kids direction. I bought token gifts for my steps and my wife could buy whatever she wishes, with her own income which included child support from her ex.

Eventually I even quit the token gifts as they were not appreciated.

I hope the mutual child and the steps are years apart otherwise its going to be difficult to enforce two sets of rules. It would be much better if you both could compromise.

Most Evil's picture

I think if your wife doesn't work, she should, if she wants to buy her kids expensive gifts like that.

I agree she has the typical double standard of a lot of bio parents - no you can't call down my child, but I do want your money for the child, that you are not allowed to even comment on without a huge ordeal.

You can set whatever rule you want for yourself, if that is what she does too, imo.!!

sandye21's picture

I agree, let your wife handle the discipline - unless they are disrespectful of you. However, it is better to keep the finances apart in second marriages. This includes stepkids. If you read some of the past posts you will find that many step daughters resent it when the Step Parent gives cards or gifts - they want it from the bio. I've found this to be true personally - to the point of extreme rudeness. Ipads are pretty expensive. If your wife does not have a job she needs to get even a temporary one or get less expensive gifts.