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Yeah for ME DH bucked up!!!

wicked step mother's picture

Okay so I get home today and I walk in on my husband talking to one of my skids and he is telling him how he is upset with him for something he did that really hurt my feelings(SS is 26) I am the 25.00 gift card recipient if you all remember that saga. So he gets off the phone shaking his head and says SS said that when they were putting gift bags together the gift card was all they had "left over" and when he said some thing to SD-in-law about how he felt it was not really a good gift she told SS I could just get over it after all it's the thought that counts! he then told DH that he planned on writing an extra nice Thank-you note to make up for it. This is after I see BM on their facebook page showing off the diamond necklace they gave her. This is the BM that decided to become a mom 1 month before the wedding. BUT i dygress Point is he did it he stuck up for me!!! I presented him with a list of my grievances a week ago and told him I am more than willing at this point to bow out of his and their lives and move on, but treating me like this is no longer an option. Also adding another person to this family willing to treat me like that was the straw that broke the camels back I did it clamly( goforit's advice thanks girlfriend!!)He said the whole wedding thing really opened his eyes to what his kids have become. I told him not to sweat it when christmas comes we'll just throw whatever we have left over in a box wrap it and give it to SD-in-law, this chick needs to be brought down hard and fast!! Thanks for all your advice and good wishes and prayers everyone

invisiblestepmom's picture

me too!

Angel72's picture

Yah he stood for you but that ss is such a whooooose! What an was all they had left over and he gave his mother a diamond necklace!!! WHoly SH*T !!!! I would not stomach it.
I would give them a 5$ certif to coffee shop for Xmas!!! Sorry, that is what is left over and then lavish yourselves on a trip without these sorry adults! And get yourself a nice diamond necklace to treat yourself!

Jon-Boy's picture

I did not ever see the gift card ordeal... I will go back and look for it. (And read up on the details.)
That is awesome he spoke up for you!
It is awesome you calmly spoke your peace with your DH too!
Now imagine the little wave he stirred in this pool of BS...

What if...
SS caught a splash of what "being" a supportive husband was really meant to be like?
What if this wave made a little splash onto everyone involved or even made it's way to others.
Imagine the impact of one loving act like this and how such a simple thing could change many lives forever.

I know... I get all caught up in this stuff...
But I love it when things like this works!
Good for you WSM...!

buttercup123's picture

Good for you. I'm so happy to hear that DH stuck up for you. I am a big believer that you need to take a stand. Glad to hear it worked.

invisiblestepmom's picture

I know how you feel about getting all that is left over. Sometimes I feel that way after we pay the bills and am left with none of my hard earned money for myself. I feel that way too when DH insists on spending more $$ on the kids at xmas than we get to spend on each other. I know its not the same as your situation but i still would ike to be thought of first sometimes and have the skids get what is left over just once, after all because of their CS we dont have much left over period.

But the skids already do what your SS did to you. Mine arent' adults but we try to encourage them doing nice things for others so at xmas time the get $$ out of thier savings ( $$ that we put there) and SD wanted 200$ last year. DH said fine. She spent 20$ on SS, 10$ on our 5 yo, 5 $ on my SS and bought me a 3$ necklace. And her dad a 25$ gift card. She spent the other 137$ on her mom, step dad and 2 half brothers at her moms house. It was savings that we gave her, our money put into an account for her and she gets our permission to spend it wisely on xmas gifts and spends 2/3 of it on her fricken mom's family. I was pissed. SD has since gotten a job and has been nice and bought BM, step dad, and her three brothers that came from BM's womb gifts here and there just because but has not bought me, DH, or her two half brother that came from my womb anything. I dont care about her not buying me stuff. I tell her not to because I want her to be responsible and save it for college but it really pisses me that she does not get my boys anything with her 'kindness' they look up to her so much after all they are her brothers too and it doesn't take much $ to buy a 2 yo or 5 yo a treat to show they are special and just because too.

invisiblestepmom's picture

it was even used at that, bought at a "hip" consignment shop for teens. I think she bought it so she could borrow it from me later.

Orange County Ca's picture

I'm not sure why you're concerning yourself over this. Are these kids someone you really want to let upset your life? Is their opinion of you of any consequence?

If I were you I would simply stop giving them gifts. Soon enough they'll catch on and you'll stop receiving $25 gift cards. Who cares?

If Dad wants to send them a gift and sign your name to it don't argue it but don't sign it yourself. It'll take a little longer but the point will be made when they realize you don't care enough to jot your name down on a card.

The only thing you need to do to resolve this situation is to turn your mind around 180 degrees. Once you realize that their actions, words and opinions about you are irrelevent to your life you can get on with it.

Plus its entirely within the realm of possibility that once you stop chasing them for respect they'll turn around and start giving you some. If that happens respond in kind but until then they are simply of no interest to you. Not any more than if you ran into a neighbor 5 doors down you ran into in the market.