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mcorb80's picture

Submitted by mcorb80 on Tue, 07/23/2019 - 3:36pm

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Stepparent Rights

Evening, sorry this is a bit gloomy. My wife has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has been given 6 months. We have 2 children one being a stepchild from her previous partner who she left as he was abusive towards her and the child. We also have a 6 month old baby. My main question is who will have the rights to look after the stepchild. I'm hoping he wouldn't go to her old partner giving the previous history and her parents live in Australia they also don't get along which means I would likely never see him again. I personally see and treat him as my own as I was there for him from when he was 6 weeks old he's just about to turn 3 and I'm also all he's ever known. I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is but is there anything you can recommend to try and keep the little fella? Thanks in advance for your help.

24 years as a SM's picture

Submitted by 24 years as a SM on Tue, 07/23/2019 - 4:08pm

If this is an option that you would want to take on, I would suggest that you adopt your stepson as fast as possible. 

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

Submitted by DHsfamilyfromhell on Tue, 07/23/2019 - 4:18pm

Gov.uk has an adopt a step child section if you type in the keywords in google it should come up. It outlines the general process. You may want to phone them and ask if special rules may apply to quicken the process. Also, if you have time and it’s proving difficult, you may find a legal representative that might be willing to give you free 30 mins advice, if money is tight. They are hard to find, but apparently they do exist. 

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Tue, 07/23/2019 - 4:20pm

I don't know the laws in your area but have heard of stepparents getting custody when it is in the best interests of the child.

Also consider paying off the spermdonor in exchange for a private adoption.  That may be cheaper if you think he'd agree.  It's not like he's going to get any childsupport from his ex.

 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 07/23/2019 - 5:58pm

I'm sorry about your wife, that's awful.  If the other parent is interested in custody, he will likely get it.  You can probably fight it if you've been with the child longer and he's had no contact.

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Tue, 07/23/2019 - 6:14pm

I am so very sorry to hear of your misfortune.  I wish strength and the best possible quality of life for you and your wife.  My suggestion would be to waste no time in consulting a solicitor as soon as possible.  Given the past abuse, it is possible that you would be able to assume guardianship of the child rather than have him go to the bio-father who has not been a part of his life.  But obviously you will want to do this as soon as possible so that your wife can have this issue resolved and concentrate on any potential of life-extending and life-improving treatments so that she can make the very most of the remaining time with you and her children.  I hope that you are able to make wonderful memories to carry you through the difficult times to come.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 08/06/2019 - 7:52pm

I am sorry to hear about your wife's prognosis.  As for gaining custody of your wife's StepKid.... I am not sure. However, if your wife can accelerate adoption of this boy then grand you custody in her Will that may work.  

As the only full time dad he has ever known you may be able to go after an adoption directly. I would suggest that you find a legal specialist on accelerated adoptions to help.