stepparent rights question
Another person's blog got me thinking of this:
Bio mother and my husband have joint legal custody.
But he is primary physical custodian and their court order stipulates she can have access to school records but cannot pick them up from school as his parenting time is during the week and she gets visitation on weekends starting 5pm friday ending 5pm sunday and every other week during the summer.
She is VERY HIGH CONFLICT.
And starts fights all the time.
Recentl
She keeps changing the kids's(3) emergency contact info at school.
(Now she is always on there). But she keeps taking my name off. My husband keeps having to add my name back on.
We live next to the school-walking distance.
Bio mother lives and works an hour away from us.
In an emergency-or even a tummy ache-I'm the one the school calls to come get them and take them home to our house when they live fulltime...so why would she keep taking me off as a contact?
Can she legally keep taking my name off contact information if my husband keeps adding it on?
(Now the Secretaries and teachers at the school know the situation and know my husband- it's a small town, but I'm wondering about the legal part of it all).
As far as I know, there's no
As far as I know, there's no way from preventing her from doing it; you have no legal right whatsoever. Sms only have moral rights and even some of those those they have when bio parents allow it...
Yes, I am just a contact
Yes, I am just a contact (labeled as "stepmom") ALL of her information is contact information AS WELL and she is listed as "mother".
To clarify, my husband is not cutting her out and putting me in her place, only saying during his time(which we are where the kidslive and go to school) he would like the school to call me first instead of him if one of the kids needs to be picked up.
The bio mother keeps changing it and saying "no, during HIS parenting time you need to call aunt so and so"(husband's sister-who does not want responsibility).
Seems like she can't legally tell the school who to call on HIS parenting time even if they are her kids, right?
Anyone can be put on the list
Anyone can be put on the list wether they agree or not. In our district anyways. I had a relative who's son sat at daycare two hours after pickup time BC the CP wouldn't answer her phone and the emergency contact hadn't had a drivers license in over a decade. They finally let another relative pick up the child after she threatened them with her attorney.
It just seems counter
It just seems counter productive to the welfare of the child. Aunt does not want to leave work to go to the kid's school for anything.
So why do something that would end up being detrimental to the child,... like the other poster said, having a child stuck at school for 2 hours...
I run my own business and live a visual distance from the school-I can leave any time. And my husband travels for work so he could literally be in the next state or further away than me at any given time.
If a kid is sick during his time, it is definitely always me going tot he school picking up the kid, taking them to the dr appts, getting rx, etc.
I agree and it's just a bitch
I agree and it's just a bitch move, power play.
Not sure how big your school is but they notice a lot where we are. Maybe DH could go in and explain to the staff without changing the info :?
I went through same thing
I went through same thing when my steps were in school. We had joint custody and kids would switch houses during school week. We kept a copy of our list, which listed BM, BD, nanny, myself. My husband would call or stop by and made sure the "correct" list was on hand. The ex and DH worked during the day when kids were at school and could never pick them up. I worked different shifts, and more likely to be able to pick them up. It is passive aggressive, but it had to be done.
Can you just put your
Can you just put your husband's number down and if he is called he can tell the school that he will get you to pick the kids up? Then he can just call or text you to let you know. I know it is caving into BM in a way and will be a pain, but it saves the back and forth that you are going through right now.
This can be fun. Let every
This can be fun. Let every little piddly detail go to BM's phone. She can deal with it. You and DH be the REAL parents. When BM comes whining and crying about how no one helps her schlep the kids around, etc... remind her of how she repeatedly removed you from the school contact card.
Own her ass and have fun doing it. }:)
Lol Rags I always love your
Lol Rags I always love your responses }:)
My step daughter's mother is
My step daughter's mother is very similar! My DH and his ex share joint legal custody with my DH as primary. SD visits mom EOW and more during the summer. We live about 10 minutes from SD's school and BM lives over an hour away. I feel the same way, if SD needs to be picked up from school due to sickness, it's obviously in the best interest of the child to be picked up quickly by my husband or myself since we live so close. However, BM sees it differently. She thinks that SD should sit at school for over an hour and wait on her to come pick her up. Silly, but it's all about control with most BMs, when it should be about what's best for the child!