joyedd1438's picture


My husband works in the oil field and is home every two weeks. He stays home for a week. During that week we have custody of his 4 year old son.


We picked up SS from BM last Tuesday. When DH picked him up BM told him that SS had a couple of "bug bites" on him. Later that evening we get him ready to take a bath. Those "bug bites" looked horrid! They were swollen, red, and had puss coming out of them. I proceded to bathe him and then I put some neosporin on the bites. SS had scratched so bad that they were getting infected!

The next moring I called the Dr office and scheduled him an appointment for that day. They were bad! The neosporin didn't help. We take him to the Dr and they infrom us that he has freaking IMPETIGO all over his body and STAPH on his ankle. I am hot p*#@#$. We get his medicine from the pharmacy and start him on it.

My DH messaged BM and made her aware of what the Dr said and that she needs to put bug spray on him when he plays outside or at least put stuff on his bug bites so he doesn't scratch like crazy! This was her response.... " that's why I made you awure"... Yeah, didn't spell aware right.


So, legally what should my DH do? This is ridiculous. For him to get STAPH from scratching his bug bites means

1. she didn't notice how bad they were gettting

2. he had them for more than a couple days

3. instead of taking him to the Dr when he was in her care (when they first started looking bad) she decided that he could wait to go until my DH got home.

Would this be considered neglect?

tog redux's picture

Nothing, dear god, don't go down the rabbit hole of CPS and Family Court etc.  Do not do that. If the doctor thinks it's neglect, he or she will call CPS.

Kids get bug bites and impetigo. If it becomes a pattern, maybe, but not on one incident.

And - it’s not your kid, so let DH manage this stuff. The fact that you are bathing the kid yourself and getting so angry about it points to you being overinvolved as a “parent”. 

DH has to coparent with BM for 14 more years, don’t start feuds over bug bites. I know it’s hard to see a kid you care about not getting good care but this doesn’t really rise to the level of neglect as a single incident. 

Harry's picture

BM just does not care about her son ?  

Or she just is not smart enough to see a problem ?

Or He does not have medical insurance, or not wanting to pay Co payment

 BM should of taken DS for medical treatment,  your DH text to BM is enough a this time to put her on notice 

tog redux's picture

Don't encourage people to fight over something any kid can get.  I got impetigo as a kid and my father was a doctor. It can happen to anyone. 

DH is not going to get BM in trouble for something so minor. 

futurobrillante99's picture

Relax. Impetigo goes along with childhood as does ringworm, hand-foot-and-mouth disease, thrush, etc. Staph can happen, too. So can lice.

Kids scratch. Do what you can when he's with you.

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

Ye impetigo is common. Those early years are awful for all sorts whilst they build some immunity. My daughter has had virtually zero upset tummy’s since the day she was born. She starts nursery in a few she is probably going to start bringing things home I guess.

Rags's picture

Further action is a double edged sword.  It can take years, costs $tens of thousands, and not return any results at all.

However, I tend to go with what is best for the Skid.  That is what my DW and I did when SS would come home from SpermLand visitation with infected puss filled welts on his butt from not being changed for days on end, half inch long finger and toe nails, glack sludge on the inside of his elbows, behind his knees, around his waist, around his neck and under his arms, infected tooth marks in the middle of his back from his idiot SpermDonor's baby mama's prior relationship spawn, covered in scratches from bushes after being pushed out of a second floor window by the toxic biter, etc....

We ended up taking him directly from the airport to the Doc when he would return from SpermLand visitation.  The we would then submit the MD report to CPS in SpermLand and present it before the Judge when we ended up back in court.

Sadly, the Judge ruled that any child would be blessed to have the support of such a lovely family as the SpermClan.  But we kept baring their asses for the entire 16+ years we lived under the CO and did what we felt was best for SS's wellbeing.  Eventually the Judges began to comment on their crap and to embarras them in court. Not that they cared enough to improve their behavior.

Good luck.