Hello all
This is my first time posting on a board like this and I want to thank anyone who take the time to read this.

First off..it KILLS me to describe myself as a "Step" Dad. I NEVER have before. My wife and I have been together 11yrs and have a son together (9) and two girls (11 and 14) that were hers from before.
They were 3yrs old and 2 months old when we started dating. I have always treated them like my own from the time thier mom and i got serious and never refered to them as step kids. They both call me dad and , in fact, the youngest girls first word was to call me dad.

Thier biological dad was not involved at all for the first few years, although his mother would visit the oldest girl every friday ( at this point he was still trying to deny the youngest was his).

Long story short, as the years went on he wanted to see them more which my wife and I would allow even though he went as long as 4yrs at one point without giving my wife the wopping $50 a week to help out she asked for.

he recently came into some money and would spoil the girls with big ticket gifts i could never afford yet still rarely forked over the fifty bucks.

For all these years I have been there everyday. Done all the disciplining (sp?), paid all the bills, and ,most importantly, have all my heart to these girls.
There was never any differance between them and my son in my eyes and I would get mad if anyone suggested there was.

This brings us to present day. A few weeks ago my wife decided to leave me. Her reasons are kinda vague and i dont really understand them but she claims she is never coming back. My gut tells me she means it and wont be back. She doesnt want a divorce mind you, just wants to live apart....yes its kinda wierd but thats what she wants

ANYWAY...she works crazy hours which dont allow her to see the kids much during the week so all three have been staying at home with me while she works and goes with her when shes off excepet when the girls are with the BD every other weekend.

Heres the problem....The BD sees this seperation as his way in....he says when my wife is working the girls should be with him, not me. He wants to go to court and either get full custody, which is highly unlikely since my wife is a great mother who now has a great job, or he would like to get a judge to rule that if my wife is working that he gets the girls and after all these years, with me literally forgetting sometimes that they were'nt biologically mine, Id be OUT OF THE PICTURE!! My wife is always working so shes not going to give me the girls on her few days off and my only other option would be for me to be at the mercy of this guy to maybe let me see them or talk to them on the phone.
never one time in there lifes has he called just to say high or to see how there day was. just waited to see them every other weekend.
He's not a bad guy and I know he loves the girls but I would describe him as being more like a really cool uncle than a dad.

We live in NY and my knowlesdge of the law is limitted.

Any Advise?

ps...none of this would even be an issue if my wife woud just COME HOME!!! but thats probably for a differant forum