I am at a loss
I've been researching the net trying to find answers and this site seems to offer some of the most un-biased advice, so here goes. Apologies ahead of time if I take the scenic route to get to some of the issues. My wife has 3 kids from 2 previous fathers. 2 of them are grown and out of the house (one father), and she has a 12 year old that we all live in the same home. The situation around the house is deteriorating quick. There is no discipline for the child. She will not do it and she will not allow me to. All he does is lay in his bed playing video games and on the internet. I keep getting told that this is normal with kids these days. I can see that, to an extent though. He doesn't listen and can't, or won't think for himself. He constantly has to be told over and over again to do things, and how to do them...right down to flushing a toilet when he's done. He was talked to about leaving toothpaste scum in the sink, to rinse it out when he's done, but if he leaves it on the counter next to the sink, he says it wasn't in the sink so he left it. This is just an example of many more things along these lines. She acknowledges there is a problem and says she will fix it, but that normally lasts about a week tops and then back to the same old situations. I feel this kid is going to grow up to be useless to society and it's happening under my watch. His father is basically homeless, jumping from motel to motel, unless he finds someone off a dating site to live with for a while. This is the example that is being set for the kid. That is a really condensed story but to the point. I'm not sure everyone wants to read a break down of every circumstance, but this has been going on for 2 years now with zero improvement. Her middle child came home from the Army last year and after 2 days I was ready to lose my shit. Leaving stuff laying all over the house, peeing all over the seat, just no respect for someone else's home. At this point I'm seeing a trend. He is getting discharged in December and coming to stay with us, without me being asked of course. I've tried and tried to get my points across and supposedly they're listened to, but brushed off after a week. I don't want to get a divorce, but I am starting to feel there is no other option.