BM can hate me all she wants, but do not involve my children
ill try to make this as short as possible but it's a pretty long story. me and my husband didnt rush our relationship nor did we involve our children until we were sure of our relationship. anyway, as a BM myself i thought it would be important to introduce myself to the ex BM. when my BD's father was involved with someone i wanted to meet her because i wanted to make sure she was being treated good. so, i just wanted her to make sure she knew he was in good hands. well, she ignored me and just walked by. okay that's fine. i treat my SS as if he was my own and he has nothing but good things to say about me. me and my husband moved in together and after awhile all the kids felt like brother and sister. once SS went home and said he had fun with his brother and sisters ex BM said no you don't have any brothers or sisters. i know this because when he came home the next weekend my BS who is 4 said hi brother and my SS told him you're not my brother because my mom said i don't have one. my BS was heart broken. he even got tears in his eyes. in mediation ex BM told my husband she doesn't want anyone with him to pick up their son. this is ridiculous. im a full time student and sometimes i would be at work. so, yes he has took take our children. ex BM can be mean to me but enough is enough when involving my children. i don't want to take her place, ive never even asked him to call me stepmom. she says that her and my husband need to go to parenting classes "together" tells the court that im mean, yet she never wants to meet me. she's hurting our kids (4 kids involved). im at a loss at what to do and so is my husband. help please.
u seem like a very nice
u seem like a very nice person.
but she is right, they r not brothers and sisters. u r not his mom. and ur kids r not HIS kids.
she shouldve explained to the child why theyre siblings.
and u shouldnt make ur children think that they r siblings either.
they could be friends but not brother and sister. as they grow up, u will see a big difference.
me and my husband are married
me and my husband are married so technically they are step brothers and sisters. my husband did adopt my children. im sorry but i don't understand how people could be so uncaring about a childs feelings. i have a sister who has a different dad but i dont sit there and tell her she is not my sister. she is my sister. my husband calls his stepdad dad, because to him thats his dad. arent parents supposed to care about their childs inrerest/feelings instead of their own? if my BD had a sister from her BF side i wouldnt tell her thats not her sister. thats cruel. what are people turning the younger generation into? she should be happy that her son has a SM who cares. my BD wasnt so lucky. she was forced to sleep on the floor and to pee in her clothes. and i didn't tell them hey this is your brother, they did it on their own.
I understand how you feel
I understand how you feel about the sibling issue. My husband and I have a child together and then he has three from his previous marriage. My son IS their brother. HALF brother maybe, but in my opinion its a shallow person who dissects family like that. BM once told me on the phone "My children know who their REAL siblings are" and my youngest SS likes to repeat her words to my 6 year old who worships the ground he walks on. We all know it isn't about family to her, it's about causing rips in your family fabric because she can't mend hers and move on. You should take your step children aside and explain how blood doesn't dictate who is family...LOVE does. This is something he not only needs to consider when dealing with those in your home, but in dealing with people for the rest of his life in general. When you explain this to him, try not to say anything negative about BM, even though you may want to put laxatives in her coffee :P. Show him LOVE rules your life and see how it works and then let him measure it against how ANGER rules his mothers life and how that works. He'll see for himself and decide what fits for him