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Wills and POA

secondwife1234's picture

Submitted by secondwife1234 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 11:53am

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Family Court

Engaged but cant marry now bc of Corona and finace is going to trial w/ x. Been going on 3 years. I live in his house and work for him. If he dies I am left in the streets. How should I protect myself? He will get a life ins policy. Should I be the POA or 2 adult male children. When he does the ill should it be divided eqqually between the 2 kids and me? What is fair?

 

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 12:08pm

Why would you not be the POA and executor?  And the majority of the assets should go to you.  You are the person who shares his life.  You contribute to the daily household finances and have done so for 3 years.  You will have your entire life thrown into chaos in the event of his death from where you live to where you work to who you have breakfast with.  His sons will go back to their lives.  Of course they should inherit something of his estate but making sure that those left behind are "on their feet" is the main point of an estate plan.

secondwife1234's picture

Submitted by secondwife1234 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 2:32pm

yes, becasue they are going to trial. they can not find common grounds to settle.

 

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 12:23pm

How long have you been together?  How long have you lived with him?  Do you pay half the bills on the house?  Is he still married?  Were you the cause of the divorce?

NobodyMom's picture

Submitted by NobodyMom on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 12:45pm

He needs to name you as POA and executor (make sure POA covers both financial and medical).  He can leave the house to you in his will.  That is what my partner did.  As for Life Insurance, my partner split beneficiaries between me and his kids.  So I won't lose a home I have been supporting and contributing to, and his kids get $$ and some personal possesions, but I am in charge as a partner should be.  

 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 12:55pm

You can get married virtually. This would be the perfect reason to do that and then have another wedding later.

 

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 11:07pm

Best way to protect yourself is to keep your finances separate and save up your money wisely. Invest it sensibly if you can. Plan what you would do if your partner died or your relationship ended and/or you lost your job with him. You are the best person to look after yourself. 

You can talk to your partner about his will and how he intends to allocate his assests. If he claims that you are provided for in his will personally I would ask to see a copy of it myself (I am a details person and like to confirm things on paper). If you want to you can consult a lawyer to see if your partner's plans would hold up in court should his ex or his kids contest it. 

Having discussions about financial matters with long term partners is a good a healthy thing to do. There is not necessarily a right or a wrong way to do things. But knowing the facts can help us to assess how we can protect ourselves and what to expect.