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ElizabethLauren's picture
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I'll start by saying, we filed for a change of custody in Arkansas on Monday. Also, DH has joint legal custody with every other weekend, summer, and holiday visitation. Sometimes you just need affirmation that you made the right decision, positive criticism, or helpful advice. Here are our reasons for filing.

SD6 was tardy 30 times in her 2010-2011 Kindergarten year. First grade shows 3 absences and 3 tardies so far.

She was absent 15 days in 2010-2011, but most of them were "excused" because she had a doctor's note but the doctor visits don't all coincide with our insurance reports.

BM married a man in 2010 and he left a few months later. THEY NEVER DIVORCED.

BM has had 5 boyfriends in SD's life while married in 2010-2011 - three that SD has called "daddy" and been told BM was going to marry.

Newest boyfriend's out-of-town home is being referred to as "daddy's house" and SD goes to stay there on the weekends she isn't with us even though the court order says "no immoral conduct" and "no overnight visitors of the opposite sex". BM claims that boyfriend stays with a friend on the nights that they're there. To me, it seems that the reason for the clause in the first place has been overlooked here.

DH has informed BM repeatedly about a man in HIS family that SD doesn't need to be around due to his strange behavior. BM never listened and kept taking SD to stay at his home. He's recently been arrested and charged (again) due to this sexual behavior. (He is not a registered offender because he's never been violent. He has several harassment charges for this behavior though.)

BM doesn't work, isn't a student, and lives on welfare. The situation is opposite in our home.

There are other things that will be mentioned in court but these are the things in the order. Any comments would be great. Thanks!

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

I think trying to get custody is a good idea. Who knows what kind of men BM is dating. Setting the number of them aside, what are their backgrounds? She probably doesn't even know. It doesn't sound like there's a lot of stability in her home. Good luck in court. Let us know how it goes!

MamaBecky's picture

The revolving door of men and the fact that she is directing her child to refer to someone other then you DH as "daddy" is alarming. Especially since the child shouldn't even be around this man to begin with. I agree that a change in custody is worth a shot. Good luck!

HadEnoughx5's picture

I'm glad your'e filing for custody. SD needs a stable environment, she has been through so much for a little kid. I'm so afraid for her safety with this new guy in BM's life.

Our BM has a revolving door for men too. It wore on my SS10, he knew BM had more than one boyfriend and would worry about where BM was at night while he was at our home. He would have an upset stomach and was unable to sleep at night.

BM would drop the kids off to her mothers and say she was going "shopping". SS10 would cry to me and say he didn't want to go there, it broke my heart.

The calling these men "daddy" sickens me. Our BM taught the skids to call her boyfriend "Papa ****" (the first name of the guy)

BM even wore my hubby's wedding rings while dating and then when she got remarried...she wore both of the men's wedding rings, one set on each hand!

I can't figure out if these BM's are so engrossed with themselves or do they really not care about their children? :?

ElizabethLauren's picture

Our court date has already been set for about 6 weeks from now. There's no time for counseling to help us in court, but the psychological assessment sounds like a good idea. Unfortunately, we don't have her on weekdays other than during the summer or holidays.

ElizabethLauren's picture

I forgot to add that in 2008, DH had her held in contempt for withholding visitation. She hasn't done that again, but I think this is another reason for contempt.