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Summer clarification

LevinaFia23's picture

Looking for clarification on a part in the updated CO It was officially updated last year after dh was awarded temp custody from dss of SS back in 2021. It became permanent just a year ago.

Honestly I didn't think there was a summer clause to the 1 week she gets in the summer like the first CO. First CO said dh had 30days prior to inform BM of the two, 2weeks he would get in the summer and we would send the dates between March and April. Well bm doesn't even have a copy of thr CO. Last yr she missed Thanksgiving and Christmas bc she kept asking and blaming dh for not having her copy. She lives 5mins from court in her court in her county where it was filed and can't seem to call, email or walk there for the copy. She'd rather jus play the blame game instead. We're wondering how's that helping her with her time?

Anyways the CO says a line that seems pointless! Let me know what you all think it means. This question may even be pointless since I'm sure she still doesn't have thr CO and probably forgot she even gets a week in the summer lol.

1. The parties shall have one uninterrupted seven day period time with the child during the summer school break upon 45 days notice to the other parent of the time they want to take for their vacation. Failure to give 45 day notice shall not result in forfeiture of such vacation time, however.

Does this really mean she has 45 days and if she doesn't oh well she still gets her time? Really? Then what's the point of this being there. This may be why I forgot bc my mind said well its a bit of a pointless point. Maybe I'm reading it wrong? If she ever gets a copy she would find a way to push the buttons of any part of it so checking if this had a boundary or its jus a flub statement. Maybe hey it's courteous to send notice but if you don't that's okay too *facepalm*

ESMOD's picture

It appears that is exactly what it means... 

On the issue of her not having a copy of the CO.. do you think that situation causes more or less drama in your lives? 

If her not having the CO causes more drama.. and you have a copy.. for all that's holy.. just give her a copy.. yes.. she could get it.. but if her not having it makes things worse.. it's in your control to give it to her and reduce at least THAT drama.

LevinaFia23's picture

You have a veryyy good point. Since Christmas passed its not been much to say since it's EOW. But very true if it causes less stress it's best to send it anyway. The unknown is a BIT annoying so might as well. Dh was holding on and saying she needs to get it but yea both holidays we just sat around waiting if she would or not. It was great we were able to enjoy the holidays without her involved but we didn't know until the day of...

The way the CO is setup on holidays now is a little confusing and we thoight involving her may have her complicate things but yea take the good n bad with pros n cons and go from there. Thanks for the reminder! We can be the cause of our own problems sometimes lol

ESMOD's picture

You don't necesarily have to remind her of her rights to visitation.. just let her have a copy for her own review... no need to spoon feed her.

simifan's picture

She won't get a copy from the court because that costs money. it costs us $15.00 a page and that was on 2000 or so.

It means she gets a week in the summer, if she gives 45 days notice she gets to name the week, if not she takes what she can get. Without 45 days notice, DH can refuse as long as it's not the last 7 days of summer. This makes sure she gets her time without being able to impede yours without notice. You will see it when you have a BM like ours. BM used to try to take her vacation time whenever she found out we had something planned.

ndc's picture

That might be what it's meant to say, but it's not at all clear.  The lawyer who drafted that and the lawyer who agreed to it are not ones I'd want representing me.

Thumper's picture

 I would contact the lawyer who wrote this up. Needs clarification. Otherwise bm can call YOU while you are on vacation and demand the child is returned to her on a whim.



Rags's picture

a copy.  

That was just fine with us.  We had copies of the CO, supplemental county rules and the State regulations.  Hard copies in our home office and scanned copies on our work computer hard drives.  When they would get stupid we would beat the snot out of them with rolled up copies of whatever documents played to our advantage. Figuratively of course.

SpermGrandHag would cry and whine how the retired Judge she was the housekeeper for told her we couldn't do this or that..... 

We would tell her if she didn't like it, see you in court.  Every time it went to court, they lost.

Know your CO inside out, upside down and backwards.