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Started the Petition Paperwork Due to Lack of Returned 8332 Forms BUT. . .

thinkthrice's picture

DISCLAIMER: We live in the extremely Pro GUBM State of NY


The Chef and the Girhippo had agreed back in '04 to go to mediation, get an MOU and then file pro se. They did go to mediation (Chef, read: I paid for it) They did get an MOU that says "Chef and Gir agree to share claiming the children as exemptions such that Chef has at least one child to claim each tax year" signed 1/19/05 by both parties.

That being said, of course the Gir interpreted it as she claimed two and Chef claims the oldest. They didn't go pro se. After the Gir dragged her feet for almost two years (in which time she was getting full medical/dental paid for by Chef) I convinced Chef that the Gir was never going to file--I literally had drawn up the papers for the Gir to just trot down and get a court date--she refused so I had him file (I did all the paperwork once again).

Well that sent the Gir into a tizzy and she was so offended by his "bold" action that she lawyered up. From my understanding, the original MOU from the mediation (which was lopsided as hell and COMPLETELY in the Gir's favour) was entered into the petition for divorce and hence forth the subsequent divorce papers and CO. Chef continued to go pro se (despite EVERYONE'S advice to the contrary) as he was completely wracked with guilt over the break up.

The MOU also says that the parties are to seek mediation first to resolve their differences, something that the Gir has already made clear that she will NOT do. She also refuses all correspondence from Chef and does a return to sender.

She was sent the forms back in February via Chef's attorney during the downward mod for OSS's "stealth" emancipation which she did not send back.

Most recently I sent the request for her to sign and return the 8332 forms directly to her work, certified, restricted delivery. I have the screen shot that it was delivered. I'm sure she dumped it in the trash soon thereafter as she has NO intention of letting Chef claim SD (17) for tax year 2015, 2016 and then rotate YSS (stb 13) for years 2017-2021.

Remember in NYS that CS goes to 21 but the year that the child turns 19, they are no longer claimable as a deduction UNLESS they are in college and I VERY MUCH doubt that these children will ever complete college although I'm sure she'll have them attempt to start college just to milk the CS cow. OSS (19) is the smartest and has the most drive of all three and he lasted all of 3 months in community college.

So do you think the MOU is enforceable at this point? Also I'd like to make her pay Chef's attorney's fees should the judge rule in Chef's favour.

Rags's picture

Of course your SO tried to hold to the 2004 agreement though is toxic XW made it absolutely clear fairly early that she never had any intention to abide by the agreement. At that point all bets should have been off and he should have gone for the jugular each and every time she twitched out of compliance with the agreement and the CO.

It took my bride a while to gain clarity on this though I kept writing it on a 2X4 and beating the message into her skull the whole time. What finally got through to was that though her intent on not holding the Sperm Clan accountable for reasonable behavior was intended to avoid them taking it out on the kid.... they were taking it out on the kid anyway. So she started bringing the pain. Being who she is she could not avoid the thoughts that "they have learned their lesson and have been okay for 6mos/a year/etc..." so she would loosen up the reigns and they would immediately return to their toxic bullshit. After a few 2 years cycles of that crap she landed on zero tolerance and kept the Sperm Clan beatings consistent for the duration. That kept them if not reasonable at least contained and tolerable.

Much to my satisfaction that relegated them to the consistent status of pathetic whiners which is what they actually were the whole time. It also gave us the chance to season SS with the facts of the behaviors of his Sperm Clan so he could develop the skills to protect himself from them as he transitioned into adulthood.

I love it when a plan comes together. Particularly when you can have fun barring the ass of idiots for decades of enjoyment. Hey, they chose the behaviors. All we did was bring the consequences for their choices.

thinkthrice's picture

Back in the day, I also heard the excuse from Chef: "she'll take it out on the children."
My response: "Well she isn't a fit mother then, is she?"
He had no response to that.

The certified, restricted delivery letter I sent also stated that we wish to avoid time consuming and costly litigation as well as financial affidavit disclosure such as (insert the Girhippo's side biz that she left off her last financial disclosure and which is plastered all over the local internet)

I expect the consultation with the attorney next week.

ItsGrowingOld's picture

She sounds like the same type of ex my DH has had to deal with. DH had it in his divorce decree that he got to claim both children. It was an agreement they reached in the divorce settlement. BM stole money from DH's company towards the end of their marriage. If she didn't agree with him claiming the children (his way of recapturing what was stolen), he was going to have her prosecuted. It was a sizable sum of money too. I guess judge explained this to BM and she debated whether to agree to the terms. Her attorney said, "take the deal!" LOL

She would claim the children every year because she filed on the first business day of January every year. DH would file mid January and be denied his refund. He would make copies of pertinent pages from his divorce decree and submit that to the IRS. The IRS would give him his money and then go after BM each and every year. In fact, I think they intercepted some child support he was paying in order to recapture the funds. Most years, her refund was between $10,000 - $12,000 :jawdrop: And yes, she worked..

Anyway, there is no way to force these CP's to abide by their court orders. Unless you can get in front of a judge that is willing to do a smack down on them. Those instances, as most of us know, are few and far between.

Good luck!

thinkthrice's picture

Ugh! The Girhippo cleaned out all three kids college funds before the ink was dry on the MOU which was 9 months before the divorce decree went through

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Sounds like the BM your DH has to deal with has a mental "money" issue too. My gut feeling is beneath these BM's that pull this type of stunt have a brain based illness. Then again, what do I know! LOL

thinkthrice's picture

Yep I've done that already but since this was an extremely high conflict divorce AND the fact that she knows the Judges all on a first name basis, I think it would behoove Chef to have the attorney with him.

She's a CPS/Foster Supervisor and knows EVERYONE in her town especially all the court officials, judges, attorneys, etc.

In NYS it's a hard and fast rule for an NCP bioDAD NEVER to go pro se but ALWAYS to have an attorney even in the smallest things. There's no question the Gir will lawyer up and he'll be stuck again.