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Permanent Sole Custody... is there such a thing?

Step-Mom-ster's picture

Maybe a dumb question; super new to the legal side of this, But just wondering is there such a thing as one parent gaining Full, sole custody permanently that can no longer be taken to court and contested? BM is living in another state not paying CS that she owes and not making much of an effort. I would like to eventually adopt the skids in the future, just wondering what a brief over-view of her, essentially having BM's parental rights removed would look like?

just.his.wife's picture

Only if the courts were to revoke BM's parental rights then yes the father could get uncontestable full physical and legal custody.

She would pretty much have to try and kill the kid for a court to terminate her rights though.

Now if you want to adopt, and BM is far behind in CS... your DH might want to approach her with a deal. She signs to voluntarily term her parental rights... and he will forgive back child support.

Drac0's picture

My friend was awarded full custody of his son...but that was because his ex (the BM) swung at a cop in a drunken rage and broke the cop's jaw. In the judge's mind that case was a no brainer. Mother was deemed unfit and father got full custody. However, I am told that this is EXTREMELY rare. Lawyers I've spoken too have seen BM coke addicts on welfare still maintain custody of their children despite repeated attempts by the other parent and family members to take the children away.

Step-Mom-ster's picture

Right, I understand that it would be difficult. Thank you all for the input! Smile I really like the idea of forgiving the back CS in exchange for the adoption agreement. DH already has full custody because BM simply couldn't be bothered with court dates (missed 2) & did not complete a 4hr parenting class that was requested of her (originally asked to complete within 60 days; both BM and DH were required to do this. DH did his, BM was given 3 different extensions, basically given about 5 months and she still couldn't figure it out) DH was awarded full custody by default. But just a note we are perfectly fine at this moment with the custody arrangement; just wondering for future reference.

Thank you all again, open to more insight aswell.

Step-Mom-ster's picture

Also BM is an idiot; who doesn't have the brains or the means to dispute this case. Nor does she have anything that the state can "take" from her or penalize her with for not paying the CS. (No place of her own, no income, doesnt pay taxes, doesnt care to have a license and probably never will,etc)

Also another possibly dumb question; If I could some how adopt them and she could still have some rights, then I would be okay with that? (not sure how or if that would work)

just.his.wife's picture

Adoption is all or nothing.

You could still allow her to see the kids, but she would have zero legal authority /rights.

Stormyweather's picture

From memory my husband has full medical and parental custody of SS15 which he wanted for exchange of bio monster gaining virtually all the marital property. She isnt allowed in future to come into the school and take him out without permission, nor contact the school to get any information. Same re his medical information and regarding taking him to the doctor on everything medical.

She gave this up easily as she had no leg to stand on in court that day as she put a restraining order on her own son for a year. :jawdrop:

Sure SS14 at the time told her he wanted to kill her but shit so do I after the appalling way she treated all her kids.....SS14 was going through an emotional tough time with 2 suicide attempts (all brought on by her abandoning him all the time) her she is blameless and tells the world how badly she is treated and how my husband has turned them against her....ummm no did a bang up job of that yourself.

Rags's picture

If she abandoned the Skids then yes. Her parental rights can be taken and then you can adopt.

In our case.... adoption just happened last week. SS (now DS) is 22. We became a family 20+ years ago when his mom and I married the week before he turned 2yo. While he was under a Custody/Visitation/Support CO he did not want to be adopted because he did not want to upset and deal with the people he refers to as "them".

He called me two weeks ago and told his mom and I that he is a Rags, he has always been a Rags and he wanted to be adopted. So, I adopted him.

ChokinOnLemonz's picture

Don't bother. I have a friend whose skid BM LITERALLY did try to kill her child and they still wouldn't terminate her parental rights despite her going to prison when the baby was one.

And as we learned, even if you win that in family court - the gaping vagina crying in appeals will get it over turned.

My friend, after the BM got out of jail she overdosed and died. My friend adopted the child. Then she and the guy ended up filing for divorce. Despite him being an alcoholic with an arrest record for beating her in front of the child things are not looking good for her because - blood is thicker than water and he being the only bio parent has huge sway right now. It's insane. And if that if that low life gets custody, SHE will be paying him child support... Maybe even if they get 50/50.