Opinions continued
I posted earlier today about SS18 choosing to move in with BM and my concerns about paying her child support...
I'm wondering if her actions as far as behaving like a teenager (to connect with SS, I guess?) would affect anything if DH brings it up in court.
This woman (in texts) calls her son "bitch", "asshole", & "dick". She even sends him pictures of her feces in the toilet!!
Then she pretends to put her parent hat on and says "you don't have a curfew as long as I know where you are".
Of course he is going to choose to live with her. He thinks "mom treats me like the adult I am ".
He doesn't want to be at our home and we don't want him here anymore if he is just going to rot in his room doing absolutely nothing.
I understand that the law says DH has to support until 19yo, but I just can't wrap my head around the fact that she undermines our actual parenting (like "at least my rules make sense") , she makes being at her place a party everyday, and then gets awarded $500-$600 a month when SS decides he can't stand living with us anymore.
I am also extremely hurt by all this. I have had a HUGE hand in raising this kid. His dad and I have been together 16+ years. SS doesn't even have a memory of meeting me because he was so young. I single handedly got him through multiple years of school he would have otherwise failed. So anyway, I have put in a lot with SS and been put through a lot with BM.
This is the trouble when kids
This is the trouble when kids are 18, and therefore free to live where they want, but CS goes past that age.
Supposedly here, where CS goes to 21, you can argue that the child left your home because he didn't like the rules, and that might make a difference. In reality, though, it probably won't make a difference, and she will likely be awarded CS until he's 19.
It's also predictable that a dysfunctional BM steps up when the kid is grown and she no longer has any real parental responsibility, and wins that kid over with bribes and no rules. Remember though - once that CS runs out, she's the one stuck with him. You can be sure he won't launch at 19, and if you don't let him move back, then it's on her to deal with him without getting a paycheck.
I doubt her acting like a peer will make any difference, in fact, DH would probably get in trouble for looking at SS18's text messages, since he is an adult.
I was the one looking thru
I was the one looking thru his phone. He was 17 at the time of the texts that I have pictures of. Is that ok?
I would say no, personally. A
I would say no, personally. A stepparent should not be reading messages from a stepkid to their mother, especially not at 17.
Plus, in my experience, Child Support is a cut and dry matter - if the kid lives with her, she'll get support. Over 18 may be different, I'd consult with an attorney about that.