How do you handle sports when CP lives 2 hours away?
Just went through mediation last week and after thinking about what was agreed upon, it doesn't make sense at all. Long story short, BM moved 2 hours away and SS is 5 (turning 6 in 1 day). BM wants it put in the papers that SS is allowed to play 2 sports per year and we have to transport SS to and from sporting events on DH's weekends (he has him every other weekend and every other week during the summer). I just don't see how that is going to work. We will be picking him up every other Friday so that is 4 hours of driving round-trip. Then, if he has sports on those same weekends, we would have to drive another 4 hour round-trip on Saturdays. Then he would go home on Sundays. Papers haven't been signed yet so it can still be changed. What do you guys suggest?
We are 90 minutes away from
We are 90 minutes away from bm-dh had custody until ss was 9.5 and ss was fairly active in sports. We just sort of winged it. If he had a game Saturday morning-often she would just show up at the game and take him home from there. Occassionally, she would pick him up and bring him back the next day and then often he just missed as well. Sports, at age 6, are not that big of deal-it is more important that he have time with ncp than it is to play sports. It should be ncp's decision about how they want to handle the sports. We never had a coach that ever gave ss or us a hard time if he could not be there sometime-it is a pretty common occurrence nowadays.
BM is not willing to
BM is not willing to cooperate and work things out in a civil manner so we have to go by what is in the divorce papers and not stray away from that. Right now, there is nothing in the agreement regarding sports. Mediation was Friday and DH's attorney is going to type everything up for us to review based on what we all agreed upon last friday. There was nothing DH could do about BM moving two hours away because she didn't leave the state. To me, it is way more important for the child to spend time with his father rather than doing two sports per year and spending 8 hours in a car every other weekend when he is 6!!! Just don't know how else to handle it. After thinking about it more....him playing 2 sports per year and us driving 8 hours every other weekend is just not an option!
My ss is 13 and this is how
My ss is 13 and this is how we handled it. We also live two hours away. If it is extracurricular, then it is up to dh to decide what he wants to do on HIS weekend. If dh doesn't want to take ss back andforth all weekend or if we cannot affordthe gas then ss misses. If ss has to be at a sporting event for school, then dh will make it happen but it hasn't happened yet. I'm sure once he gets to high school we'll run into that more but now it isn't a problem.
If your dh wants to find a middle ground then maybe he can suggest one of these:
1. If the event is on the day of dh's pickup then dh can pick up ss afterwards (a later pickup time) BUT gets to keep ss longer on dropoff day. If the event is after dh's pickup day then bm can drive 2 hrs to pickup ss, take him to his event then drive him back afterwards. (yeah right!)
2. Or if dh agrees he can do sports then he can put in writin that any missed visitation days due to sports will be made up in consecutive weekends when the sports season is over or in he summer. So if ss missed three weekends due to basketball then after bball, dh would get ss three weekends in a row. (this is what our attorney suggested to our bm and she got so mad. She decided that ss could miss sports during dh's time.)
But honestly, dh's time is HIS time. If he wants to spend it driving back and forth then let him. If not then he should feel no obligation to.
We just need some advice on
We just need some advice on some other possible options. I just can't see us just not allowing SS to play sports.
Thanks TX Mommy of 3! I like
Thanks TX Mommy of 3! I like both of those suggestions.
Also, I think it is good that
Also, I think it is good that bm suggested ss do TWO sports a year. I'd keep that in the order. That way if she tries to sign him up for more activities/sports then dh can put his foot down and tell her SHE agreed to ONLY 2 sports/year. I would also change the wording to read "sports/activities" if you can sneak it in. that way she doesn't try to also add music lessons and other non-sports activities on top of the sports. Idk how your bm is but some bm's use activities to prevent visits from happening. Oh, and in the orderyou might specify WHO is supposed to pay for such activities and if cs covers that. Just additional thoughts!