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Hey everyone, please tell me that I'm not crazy!

bigmeanstepmom's picture

My SD that lives out of state (one of two) was going to come down to finally come and visit her father. She has not come down to see him for four years complaining that she is afraid to fly. BM has kept his kids from him since the beginning of their divorce with restraining orders, contept of court, communication harrassment charges, etc. You name it that woman has done it. Anyway, the other SD just turned 18 so our child support has been cut in half. So, of course, BM runns to the court system asking for it to be reevaluated. Now, keep in mind that the SD's don't call him on fathers day, his birthday or anyother important day for him, not even a card. They do however call on their birthday. (Youngest just had a b-day a couple days ago.) They only call when they have their hand out. Same with BM.

So, when he called SD to wish her a happy b-day, he asked her if she would like to come down and see him. SD wanted to, BM said ok. WHY?????? Why after all these years is it ok now? I think that it is because a.) she wants school clothes b.) she wants a birthday gift (did i mention he bought her a laptop for her brithday last month?) c.) BM is sending her down here to report back on what we have.

My question to everyone is "If she comes down and sees all the nice things that we have, can BM use that in the support case against us?

Chocoholic's picture

I don't think they could use the fact that you own nice things as a reason to up the child support $$. That would look pretty stupid if BB shows up in court with a list of your belongings in tow and states that she wants more money....

bigmeanstepmom's picture

Thank you for taking the time to post for me. That is exactly what I thought. It would be really bad when the SD gives her mom pics of my baby grand, new furniture, motorcycles, pool etc. I just don't want to put fuel on the fire.


Thank you.

Anne 8102's picture

...what you have or don't have. They're gonna look at the formula your state has for determining child support and that doesn't include what kind of car you drive or an inventory of your belongings. They're going to look at salaries, childcare expenses, etc. of the bio parents. I wouldn't sweat it. The most she'll get out of it is a case of jealousy.

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

Mom on the Edge's picture

Let the SD come and see what you have and report it back to BM. Maybe SD will decide she likes what you have better than what BM has and want to live with you! As awful as it sounds its a great feeling to get the phone call - "the kids want you to pick them up early so they can go swimming." As much as you don't hear it in her voice you know she is fuming because you have more "toys" than she does! I'm not bitter though..... Smile Let her eat her heart out!

bubbles92399's picture

I guess it depends on what state you live in. I'd be careful though. If your assets don't match the amount of money that you claim as income they might look into it. My s/d takes inventory of everything that we own and reports back to her mother who then reports it to the child support office who then sends out an income verification for to my husband's employer. They did this every month last year.