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OnTheFence92's picture

My girlfriend is currently filing divorce from her ex wife. Before the two married, my girlfriends soon to be ex wife, cheated and got pregnant by a man. Again, this happened before they got married. My girlfriend stuck around and took the baby in as her own and has been taking care of him, his whole life, for 4 years. They got married years after the kid was born. Now that they are in the mist of getting a divorce, her soon to be ex wife will not allow her to be in his life. Will no allow my girlfriend visits, she is now having another women “raising” him. My girlfriend has NO LEGAL ties to the boy. No custody, no rights, nothing. So there’s not much she can do. 

My question is, there are two forms of paper to file for divorce. One with children/custody and one without children/custody. My girlfriend wanted to take her chances and file the divorce with children/custody, even though she doesn’t have custody/rights.. Not to mention the biological father hasn’t been stripped of his rights, even tho he hasn’t been in the picture. We spoke to someone at the court house and they’ve said that she wouldn’t be able to file that specific divorce paper before of that reason. But again, she’s adamant on doing so. She says the worse she can get is a “no” from the judge. How successful would she be in filing divorce papers involving a kid that’s not biological or legally hers? Would she get custody or will it be a flop? We live in Nevada, by the way. So each state is different. 

OnTheFence92's picture

We spoke to someone at the court house and they’ve said that she wouldn’t be able to file that specific divorce paper BECAUSE of those reasons*

tog redux's picture

Stepparents have no legal rights to stepchildren, period.  She isn't going to pull a fast one on the judge. Once the actual mother tells them the truth and and the judge requests documentation proving she's adopted the child (which doesn't exist), they will dismiss the petition and she will have to file again, with the proper papers.

She needs to accept this sad loss, despite how hard it is for her.

susanm's picture

If she is serious about retaining any custody rights, she needs to consult an attorney.  It is hard enough for bio-parents to fight for custody.  A non-bio who raised a child as their own,never as a step-child but openly intended by same-sex spouses to be a true parent of a child through a donor, that then has the biology used against them has a hard road.  But some have been successful.  It depends on the state, the facts of the case, and how hard she wants to fight.  Speak to an attorney in your area who is familiar with recent reproductive rights and child custody law.

still learning's picture

If she is serious about retaining any custody rights,

She never had custody rights to begin with so there is nothing to retain.  This is the risk you take when raising a stepkid and getting attached; they can be ripped away from you at any minute and there's nothing you can do about it.  

I'm sure the ex will have your gf's motion thrown out since the child does not belong to her, but on the slim chance it snuck by your and gf files divorce papers with a child involved they will begin the process of child support calculations.  Does your gf really want to be involved in that mess???  Like tog said, it's sad but that chapter of her life is over.  Take the lessons and move on.  

Rags's picture

There is likely nothing she can do.  However, if she wants to go to war she needs a great attorney and be ready to present all the facts and history that shows that she is the primary parent to the child and bare the BM's ass as minimally involved. 

She likely will not win but... she could give the new SO of her STBXW clarity on what she is getting into.