DH has filed for Contempt

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Long story short, SD has been living with DH and I for 9 years, with w/e visitation for the BM. She had her first real punishment this past week (thursday). She called her mom, who then got her uncle to pick her up at a friend's house. She took her, called the cops to put them on the phone with DH and they said he cannot do a thing all the while telling DH she was on her way back with SD back to our house. She had school the next day (friday) and a trip that she was to be graded on. Knowing all of this, BM in addition to my DH pleading with her to bring her home we can all talk, or at the very least, that he would give her school clothes just make sure she makes it to school. An hour later BM's cell phone was diconnected. We waited til morning went to her school SD never made it in. DH had contact completely cut off for two nights. DH filed a police report, pointless, I know but just to have record. Then filed a Contempt of Court. Finally, he heard from SD two days later feom her BM's cell phone (Sat.) that she claimed she was having problems with, no shit it was disconnected..lol. DH retained custody back of SD Sunday night. We had a brief convo with her about how wrong her actions were, no yelling just that she would lose some privileges now. SD gets on the bus (today), I watch her get on the bus on our corner every morning, and uses a friend's cell to report everything we said to her back to her mom. Of course, BM called DH starting trouble.

My question is...does DH have grounds for Contempt. Considering she took her without consent, not on her visitation time, and then did let her miss school. Also, forging any type of contact with DH for two nights. We really had no idea what was going on. Thanks for any input or similar experience any has had...at a loss.

Kudos to your DH for putting

Kudos to your DH for putting his foot down and getting serious about this. That is really wrong, for BM to go against you like that and then cut off contact. It must have been very scary.

Depending on your CO you

Depending on your CO you could have reported her as being kidnapped and had BM arrested. Does your CO give residential custody to dad?

Some custody laws change

Some custody laws change from state to state. But yes, I would say that DH has every right to file for contempt. BM was breaking CO when she did not bring SD home to you and DH. She could also be charged for endangering the safety and well being of SD since you and DH could not get in touch with SD. But it will not hurt to make BM answer to a judge as to why did not bring SD home and it will also show BM and SD that DH and SM are not going to lay down so they can run all over you. Even if BM thought she was doing what was best for your SD she did it in a very unresponsible way. Hopefully you and DH never have to face anything like this again. But, if you do, DH needs to do everything he did this again and in addition to filing a police report, he needs to file possible kidnappong charges. This was not a game! I am sure you and DH were besides yourselves with worry and are now relieved the SD is ok. Good Luck with everything!!!!

I've advised some parents

I've advised some parents who have a 14+yo kid on visitation that when the kid is adament that they don't want to go back then have the kid refuse. I.e. Dad puts the kid on he front porch and the kid understand he doesn't have to go. If physically removed he goes but the same thing happens next time.

My point is that it may just be that Mom is reacting to the girls request to stay with her. Its certainly a valid excuse. "I can't let her sleep on the street".

Contempt is hard to make stick as its a "he said - she said" situation. I came close only when I had a third party witness her actions and then I backed off in court when it looked like she might be jailed. No point in putting your childrens mother in jail.

I would carry through with it as she'll know you mean business.

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It may be that 50 years from now the only important thing you did in this life is to be important in the life of a kid.

Yes, the CO does give DH

Yes, the CO does give DH residential custody in PA her BM lives in NJ. The police said that we could not file kidnapping charges that would have to go through the court if she was to not be returned by Sunday and missed subsequent days of school. When the police were at our house on Thrusday night they said they can do nothing because technically she has custody from Friday thru Sunday? Umm yeah, but I don't think that means take your kid a day early without consent and let her miss school. Technically, that is not her decision to make. I told DH they will most likely do nothing because she was returned but it's better to have it documented. DH just knows she is going to cry fowl because her excuse for everthing is "but he beats my daughter" which I hope a judge can see right through. I mean if that was the case how come the only time you filed for custody of your daughter was when she was two for child support. Any sane person would have tried to get their kid back in the ten years that has passed if she was being beat. She is also a straight A student, I just feel bad that he will even have to defend himself like that. Thanks for the encouragement. I wish I would have found this site years ago!

It's not just that your SD

It's not just that your SD decided to stay with BM, it's that you had no contact and no way of knowing what was going on. That is wrong. SD should have told her dad if she wanted to stay with her mom. So whether or not they "do" anything to BM, you can at least address this.

How old is your SD? I think

How old is your SD?

I think he should definitely file for contempt. You have a police record. Keep us posted on how it turns out.

She is 12. We did address

She is 12. We did address the situation w/ my SD but we believe that as the adult making the decision at that time her BM should have brought her right back home. Not appease her and take her essentially making things much worse. She got her papers in the mail today. Called DH and just said I got the papers and wanted to know if DH was going to keep SD from her BM until the hearing. DH said of course not, you still have her the w/e's that are yours.