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Court and Cafcass update

ShadowAthena's picture
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I've been kinda AWOL on here for a while. So we had our first hearing and it was fantastic. BM was being her usual self, giving silly half answers and not really being honest. The judge saw right through her bullshit. And they're not happy she left SD alone, at least once. So cafcass will investigate that. Their report is due by the end of the month. Next hearing is early December and BM is back to being a stubborn bitch. DH recently had an overnight stay with SD and it went great. I was on video chat with them and SD looked so happy to play with her dad and younger sister; broke my heart to say goodbye to my little baby for a few days but I knew that she needed bonding time with her sister. 

But now BM is making up bullshit excuses as to why DH cant have SD over Christmas. We've given her tons of options but she says no, she says we can have SD next year. DH hasn't spent Christmas with his daughter since 2016, so like f is that happening. Hes been bending over backwards to her every whim because he didn't know what else he could do, now he knows he's actually got a leg to stand on he's finally doing something about it. 

I'm proud of DH for standing up to her and not taking bullshit. Im finally rubbing off on him 

Harry's picture

Ask the judge to have Some time with SD over Christmas,  As a once time thing until CO is put in place 

ShadowAthena's picture

DH is going for full custody but will gladly settle for shared which is how it looks its going to go. But yeah he's going to make that a point about Christmas as its ridiculous. 

ShadowAthena's picture

Sorry, didn't realise I hadn't posted that either. But yeah he's the father. Waiting for those results was a nightmare. BM didn't want to do that test at all, even though it was perfectly fine. 

Rags's picture

BM's withholding of SD from DH has to be a major focus of your court case.  Find an attorney that is a shark and who will go for BM's throat.

Good luck.

ShadowAthena's picture

We can't afford that sadly, DH is self representing but I'll talk to him about focusing on that. He's sent what he can to cafcass already about it but if he pushes it maybe more will happen. 

ShadowAthena's picture

We're getting some legal advice at the end of the week in regards to this. Hopefully things can get cleared up soon. 

charlieskeeper1's picture

In my experience of family court & CAFCASS twice, (once as BioMum & once as StepMum) unless there is good reason, CAFCASS will go straight down the line of Xmas alternates between Mum & Dad. Once you have the CAFCASS recommendations, they are a very strong indicator of what a judge would rule. Do not fear representing yourselves as judges do not treat you like they would a solicitor. In both of my experiences, the CAFCASS findings & report content led to the agreed content of the Court Order. The judge gave an intro speech on that content & made it clear that if a full-on trial (very expensive!) was to ensue, they could already predict the outcome based on the CAFCASS report so strongly advised the parents to agree something between themselves (during a court break) based on the report & it would then get written into a court order. If your case is quite straightforward, don't waste thousands as CAFCASS will pick up on the essentials & report fairly & the judge takes a massive steer from that.