zero discipline, should i just leave it to him?
I've been living with my partner 3 months. He has 2 children full time, an 11yo boy who is well adjusted and intelligent and a 10yo girl who in my mind is very troubled.
She steals everything from everyone. She once stole food from the shop, bragged about it and enjoyed eating it. He did nothing.
She's been stealing toys, food & clothes from her brother for years without consequences. She has no concept of anyone but get going without, the world revolves around her.
She has stolen hundreds of dollars, shaving cream, a vibrator, condoms, lubricant, pornos and various other items from her father.
She stole my purfume, lingerie, shoes, clothes, money and various other items from me. None of this stuff would fit her. Her response, but I didn't daddy, I didn't...its all in her room so...
Dads solution, put locks on our doors and hide food in our rooms. She denies taking anything even though caught red handed.
I'm concerned for her welfare especially with the sexual stuff she's taken. She has also stolen from kids at school and is not well liked.
Her room was an absolute garbage tip. Food wrappers in every draw, bag, in & under the bed, stale food, old dirty plates, rubbish, mess everywhere, you could struggle to see the floor. I spent 2 days cleaning it, apparently I'm not the first. When she finishes eating something, she will throw the wrapper on the floor, treats her home like a tip, no respect.
She is constantly asked to clean her mess she leaves all over the house by me.
Its nothing for her dad to feed her in one day KFC, coke, ice cream, lollies, hungry jacks, frozen sugary drinks - this was all after school one day and there's a bunch of rubbish food in the cupboard they eat whenever they like. If you don't give it to her, she steals it, why not, no consequences for anything.
I have tried to talk to him and to enforce rules but it then becomes him and her against me. He bribes his son with gifts to put up with her. He lies to me to cover for her, defends her and ignores me cuddling up to her, just shutting me out.
This girl is going to have no friends, a criminal record and most likely be a teen mum. She does not do her homework either so career prospects are low - not being mean but she is dumb, not knowing basics a 10yo should know. Since she can't keep her home clean, cleaner is out so maybe check out chick but she can't add and will most likely steal the money and lose the job anyway.
He and I fight over her all the time. I don't see why he can't see the train wreck ahead but if he doesn't care, its hard for me too
He's a loving father who I guess doesn't know how to parent and wants to be a friend not a father. His daughter has threatened to go live with mum since I got here and tried to help her understand where all this is leading.
So much goes against my beliefs. I spend very little time with her as she's nice to your face but stealing behind your back, I just struggle to relate to her. If its for attention, well she has her fathers complete attention, they are inseparable, cuddle, kiss, hang out, hold hands, she's even in the toilet and bathroom while he showers which I hate - the toilet, come on!
She had my attention when I first got here, I'd bake with her, watch movies, take her everywhere, go for walks, play games, now I don't so she's lost my attention. I'm very close to the son, he's awesome, I feel sorry for him, he can't stand His sister and on some levels resents His father.
He has no issues disciplining his son who rarely does anything wrong, I've pointed this out but he deserves it apparently.
His daughter is not yet overweight but with puberty coming I suspect will be with the constant crap food, his son is and is made exercise however he still feeds him junk so its a lost cause. I cook healthy and try, his son is trying to follow me best he can as he hates the exercise and wants to lose the weight desperately.
Do I just give up and let her run wild so it stops doing my head in.