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You know, I might be on to something here.....

Eyes Wide Open's picture

Submitted by Eyes Wide Open on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 9:09pm

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The more I think about it, the more I realize I may not necessarily so much dislike the adult skids as I dislike the fact that they make me very disappointed in DH. It disappoints me that he is a failure as a father (yes, he is lousy at it). It disappoints me that he chose their skank mother for his wife (even though it was close to 30 years ago and he was just a dumb horny kid and she was willing to put out). It disappoints me that he allows them to treat him like crap and will not stand up for himself. It disappoints me that he cannot see the forest for the trees when it comes to his kids and their horrible manners and total lack of work ethic. And, it disappoints me that, in the back of my mind, I keep thinking that SOMEONE had to teach/allow them to be money grubbing, entitled, losers. Since he had full custody, and BM only saw them at her convenience, do I blame HIM for this? I think, in my mind, I do!

Everything major that I dislike about his kids, is a manifestation of a little annoyance in DH. This is NOT a good thing. Lord, I'm gonna need therapy, and Jack Daniels is cheaper than a medical professional!

witsend71's picture

Submitted by witsend71 on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 12:59am

I agree Eyes WO,

That IS the sad part. That we know where they get it. Or at least some of it. I know DH is doing the best that he can. Parenting is not an exact science. The best of us screw it up sometimes. It's so much easier to see the faults in people we don't like, whereas we will accept almost any behavior in those we love. I wish my DH would say to SD25, "Hey...be nice or don't come around". I think she would change her tune! OR she would give us the cold shoulder, which wouldn't be bad either. DH was in a disfunctional marriage for a long time where he had to acquiece to his exes every whim. Now I feel that I must do the same. I KNOW it's not healthy...but I live for the non kid weekends and bite my tongue (mostly) through the rest of it. Speaking up gets me no where. Wow. I'm really making the connection now between his awful marriage and my current one. Uh oh.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 1:55am

Parenting is not always a one way street. I've seen the best parents raise the worst child (yet his siblings were wonderful) and the worst parents raise, and I use this term very lightly, one of the best people I have ever known. Keep that in mind when you look at the little heathens and remember they have BM's genes too, so much to overcome.

As for picking BM, I asked DH in a moment of complete exasperation why in the world he picked this woman to sleep with, when I know for a fact he had better offers. He looked me dead in the eye & with a completely straight face said "drugs." It was so unexpected I still laugh when I think about it.

With all that JD I doubt you'll be making the best decisions . But hey, share some with your SO and maybe he'll be 10 feet tall and bulletproof and stand up for himself with the brats.