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momjeans's picture

Your FIL informs DH that you've (meaning me) "ruined Christmas".

How did I manage to do this before Christmas has even arrived?

I called MIL out for the covert smear campaign she started, who knows how long ago, and has actively been engaging in, due to my disengagement from SKID during her visitations. Just the basic "not my kid, not my problem", DH works 6 days a weeks, I have two toddlers to care for while I work from home, and I have ZERO desire to put myself in the line of fire with BM and her high-conflict intrusiveness, disengagement. One in which I didn't announce to anyone prior to doing it, I just did it.

Apparently MIL had been crying for days. Because she was caught and called-out on it.

Yeah, I could have done nothing. Said nothing. But, she had several family members convinced that I "hated them". Maybe it's because I've never been scapegoated, at least to my knowledge, and that it sent me into a brief tailspin, I need to fix this, moment.

I get this feeling this behavior is normal when it comes to disengagement?

DH's family really puts the 'fun' in dysfunction. Bring on the bourbon and Nog.

BethAnne's picture

He's a pretty shitty husband if he has let his wife cry for days and hasn't been able to comfort her. He is shifting the blame because he doesn't want to deal with his home life. Ignore them.

momjeans's picture

Your observation is correct. Aside from their own issues of codependency and enabling others bad behavior, my FIL has a pretty hefty prescription pills problem (sure I've addressed it here already somewhere), so I cannot say I was THAT shocked with his erratic behavior.

CANYOUHELP's picture

You do have to protect yourself, when nobody else will do it for you, or cares to support your feelings.... Good for you!

notsobad's picture

I just posted on another thread how freeing it is to just accept what they think of you. You are NEVER going to change their mind no matter what you do, so why not be the biatch that they think you are.

Agree with FIL and MIL and take full responsibility for ruining Xmas. And remind them that if MIL continues to malign you to others, you will continue to call her out each and every time! Perhaps even tell them that they should take the "High Road", "Be the Adult" and just stop talking about you!

Sorry, I'm feeling a little sarcastic tonight.

momjeans's picture

Oh snap!

Yes to all of this, notsobad. You get me. I'm totally fine with lacing that "you ruined Christmas!" boot up and wearing that effer. Ha!