You Are NOT Wearing THAT!

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Anyone else sick of Skid(s) showing up at your house with terrible clothes? Wildebeest is notorious for sending raggedy crap that's usually too small, with SS9 when he comes to visit. (For example, last week she sent size 12 shorts that still had a tag on them but he wears size 16 Husky). DH said it's because BM have him pack his own clothes and he just grabs whatever is clean/semi-clean. He's always missing underwear or his asthma medicine even though DH reminds her over and over to pack inhaler too.

Furthermore, much of it's just crap--bright, basketball shorts and over-sized graphic cartoon tee's; just flip-flops, no sneakers and we have purchased him at least 3 pair in last 4 months. DH has told her over and over to pack or at least check his bag as it's not like it we are still home. If she meet us with crap, we are stuck with it or stuck buying something decent so that we can take him out in public without embarrassment. Still, same story over and over. I told DH she does this on purpose so we can send him back with new, nice clothes. I tell him to leave it here and he said then he won't have anything nice to wear at all. Probably true as we used to pick him up from school and he'd be in a too small shirt, shoes on backwards, no belt. Later we found out sometimes she wouldn't even get out of bed sometimes when he dressed himself and got on bus. It's no wonder he doesn't see the routine of showering and brushing his teeth and hair as any matter...

This is not a $$ issue; the heffa makes nearly 6 figures and is always dressed herself. He confronted her about the size 12 shorts and she said it'll be okay for him to wear them around the house. Uhm, a big, high butt & gut like SS's cannot squeeze into anything 4 sizes too small!! She then says he Likes wearing basketball shorts so DH told her it's not up to him to pick all of his clothes at 9 yrs old. Those shorts ride up his crack and there he goes, slopping around all slouched forward and knock-kneed with a short-pants leg all up his tail. G'ah I hate dealing with this Biotch. Just venting! What do you do when Skids show up looking a mess?

We have tried everything to

We have tried everything to train/re-train SS but considering he's mostly with her now and is naturally lazy, it's like talking to a lily pad. He does seem to like being well dressed once we dress him in the nice clothes we buy but he makes no effort of his own and pouts and drags his feet when we get on him. There was a time when I had to throw out underwear as they were so nasty from his lack of hygiene and finally I refused to wash it. DH will do his laundry before he leaves now. She has sent him with Dirty clothes once and no underwear on at all because she didn't have time to do laundry. She had time to go to a party that week, go shopping for the party, go get her hair done but didn't have time to do laundry for her brat. That's how and who she is.

The BM is all about herself. She puts on just enough of an act to make people think she's Mom of the Year. No one would guess what we actually see if they didn't know her as she puts on the "Look at us" front with the little Family figurines of mom and boy on her Escalade. :/
Sad thing is she's about to have another kid but from what I can see, I don't think her new Husband will tolerate her behavior towards his kid. He's in the house and can see to it that she does better. (He appears to do nothing for SS).

BM use to send SD6(then 5) in

BM use to send SD6(then 5) in her school clothes or a nice outfit. She always asked for us to send it back on Sunday (we had SD friday night to Sunday). I had no problem doing so, but I often didn't have time to wash the clothes so I would send them back in a plastic bag, let her know they weren't washed & send SD in clothes from our house (again no problem with that). However, BM never sent the clothes we sent over back. She would absolutely have a cow if we didn't send her clothes back but didn't send ours back. When the supply of clothes we bought for SD dwindled to nothing, I started only sending SD back in clothes that were too small & still sending BM's clothes back. Well, then BM started sending SD in too small clothes as if I cared. I didn't. I sent them back & that was that.

Once she mentioned it to me, I told her that we can't send her in an outfit if you don't have the courtesy to send it back, as we send yours back. She said she didn't have a problem with it. I sent her maybe 3 weeks in real outfits & she had to find them, pack them & send them back. Sometimes she would have SD wear the outfits to school then wash them, whatever. She got tired of the hassle, then decided "well I don't care if I get my clothes back as long as she comes back in clothes that fit and I send her in clothes that fit it doesn't matter."

Yeah, now that YOU have to do some WORK it doesn't matter. She use to curse DH out about clothes to the point that before SD started school I wouldn't let BM send anything at ALL to our home unless we had bought it.

We used to buy SD (now 22)

We used to buy SD (now 22) clothes to keep at our house. Not a lot but enough so that we could take her to church and out and about without people thinking she was neglected.

She would show up in pants that were too big in the waist and 4 inches too long (couldn't even walk in them!), summer t-shirts in the middle of winter, crappy shoes. BM is just so selfish.

We have learned to keep extra

We have learned to keep extra clothes in the car for SS if we are picking him up from BM and not coming straight home. She dresses him, but she dresses him like she dresses. BAD.

Picked him up the other night, he had on blue basketball shorts and a grey tank top. Which is fine EXCEPT, the shorts were about 3 inches above his knees, and the "tank top" used to be a tshirt, she cut the sleeves off of, they were cut all crooked and crazy looking. And TWO different socks. Both white (he wears black socks at home) but one was a crew sock and one an ankle sock. I handed him clothes and sent him back in her house to change. She gets offended but I could care less. I'm not about to be seen in public with him dressed like that.

We went through the same

We went through the same thing when the sk's were little. Bm would arrive at dropoff point in the middle of January and the kids would jump out of the car in flip flops and shorts. She wouldn't even send a toothbrush or pair of clean underwear with them. One time, SD (then 5 yrs. old) showed up at the dropoff in a bathing suit and yellow tights with no shoes (in mid-Winter). DH was so mad! He was on his way to take the kids out to eat and had to circle back home and redress them. So, we began purchasing a wardrobe, shoes and coats for each child. The clothes we bought stayed at our house. The clothes they came to us in, were washed over the weekend and they wore them back home on Mondays. BM hated it, but that was the rule until they were teenagers and then we told them we would no longer be buying them clothes for our house and they needed to pack a bag.

My Goodness-- that bordered

My Goodness-- that bordered on serious negligence!! No clothes in Winter... Jeez! Don't you wonder "who was this person that my DH found attractive enough to marry and birth kids with once upon a time?" Damn...

sounds like Dumbass. never

sounds like Dumbass. never ever ever has had the kids pack a bag, not even for a freaking week long vacation.

has done 'drop off' on multiple occasions with YSS SHOELESS.

but that's ok, new/replacement clothes always get bought.

we do it for the boys' wellbeing, not to help her. but it does help her, and she is never held responsible for it- chaps my ass...

OSS has been bringing a bag lately, he's becoming more appearance-conscious. and MSS has been bringing one, only cuz of his sports tho'.

i told DH last weekend YSS was shoeless- Dumbass is an idiot, she couldnt find her asshole with a flashlight. BUT YSS is almost TEN, he CAN and SHOULD be held responsible for wearing SHOES. dont get mad at her incompetent ass, use it to TEACH HIM... we'll see if there's any follow-thru, or if it's another new pair next time...

GRRRR - ok, sorry, off soapbox now....

"Chaps my ass" LOL!! Yes,

"Chaps my ass" LOL!! Yes, pretty dang annoying. On one hand you want to say Screw It and let him look like a slob, getting pointed at and treated second rate. But then you think "NO, unacceptable for him to be going around looking like that just because his Mom is a Dumbass". We try to think of consequences for him first.

Why don't you keep clothes

Why don't you keep clothes and shoes for him at your house?

Because DH wants him to have

Because DH wants him to have the nicer stuff we buy, to wear to School to avoid him having to go to school in the crap she buys. He's trying to teach him to choose the stuff we buy over the stuff he has at home when he is dressing himself for School.
When we lived in same City, we did keep clothes at our house but now we live a 4 hour drive away so we don't have him as much as we did before-- 1-2 weekends per Month, all 3 day Weekends, Holidays and 3, 7-10 day Stints over Summer. Keeping clothes here and they'd get little use and he'd outgrow them. Other times we see him when we go home for some reason but he stays home at nights with her there vs with us in a Hotel.

If DH wants him to have nicer

If DH wants him to have nicer stuff, then he needs to stop complaining about what BM is doing with it. He should expect the skid to be sent to him in crap clothes at this point because he's refusing to put a stop to it.

I'm sure it's infuriating .. but this is one of those issues he can actually control.

We have always kept clothes

We have always kept clothes for my skids ... Problem they don't like them because they cover all the body parts. BM when ever she pleases lets them pack her clothes so they have the option not to use ours. All the nice things we have bought have been switched with the crap they come with or the take them without saying anything. And then they don't have anything when they come here... Baby titties hanging out and buns for all.

Oy. Isn't that a very

Oy. Isn't that a very uncomfortable feeling?? I saw some 9-12 year old girls in tied up halters and butts practically out of their shorts this weekend and I instantly wanted to go cover them up. Then I saw what I presume to be Mom and it all made sense. She had a nice physique for a middle-aged woman but she was surely letting it out all as if she was 20. Her shorts were as short as her girls, literally making creases in their butt cheeks from being so tight and short...

We have always kept clothes

OMG! My skids 11 and 7 do

OMG! My skids 11 and 7 do the same thing. My sd7 came over in long pants and a long sleeve flannel shirt that was size 14! She is size 6! My ss11, came over in long pants and a tshirt that was XL in adult size. He is in Med in kids! The shirt went past his knees! It looked like a dress... Not to mention it was 90 degrees.. And this was just their last visit.

Right now we have enough

Right now we have enough clothes to last 4-5 days for SD at our home. She usually comes in on Friday and immediately changes into PJ's. When she goes home on Sunday, she'll wear something from her closet/dresser. If the clothing she wore on Friday is something I find tacky, but would pass SD's dress code at her school, I'll make sure it's washed and sent back with SD. Fortunately, SD's current school has a pretty strict dress code. If the clothes are stained or has holes, I'll trash it - just like I would with DS's clothes. If it's just too short/too small, I'll ask SD if she wants to take it to her younger step-sister, or put it in our donate pile.

If we have plans other than going straight home on Friday night, I pack a change of clothes. I do the same thing for my DS.

The best thing is to suck it up and just buy clothes for your skid for both houses. It's probably best for the kid, and honestly, probably what your DH would do if he was still married to BM. As the kid gets older, clothes (and appearance) will be more important.

I don't know about getting

I don't know about getting better... he's a sloppy kid for most part.
Yesterday I told DH we are keeping 2 outfits here and he'll wear them here only. When he goes home, he's going home in his crap she sends him in. He agreed and if they get too small, they'll be donated. We will buy LESS for him to wear to school this year. Normally spend $400 for his school clothes, then another $300 for Winter clothes and another $200-400 for spring/summer all of his shoes. Where the hell are those clothes we wonder as when we lived in same City, we'd pick him up from school and he'd be in her crap. Plus she keeps buying less and less and only the cheap sportswear mess. So Dh agreed that if he's not being made to wear it anyway, we'll be spending less. All of that is her responsibility anyway... dumb cow.

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You Are NOT Wearing THAT!