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You all will find this funny re: SD16's Boyfriend

Thisisnotus's picture

SD16 has a boyfriend. The boyfriend has a SM and his SM and dad share 2 younger kids.

Boyfriend's SM must clearly call the shots b/c boyfriend always needs a ride and his parents will never provide it...they *may* drop him off at our house in the afternoon but no picking up......I'm guessing b/c they have young kids at home and don't want to be out all over town at night all the time. SD and Boyfriend live at least 30-40 minutes apart.....well why don't you guess who is now responsible for the boyfriends transporation??? DING DING DING....why  yes...of course it is my DH. Duh!!!

For some reason my DH is acting like this relationship is the most important thing on the planet. It is SO WEIRD. It's like he will do anything for this kid and SD to hang out.

I don't even know why it bothers me....but now DH has to take SD to boyfriends house and then pick her up.....OR go pick up boyfriend and then drive him home...that is well over an hour each time. Don't even get me started on why either of these idiot kids don't have a freaking drivers license as juniors in high school.

Maybe b/c tonight is Halloween and boyfriend is coming over (ugh) so DH is picking up his kids from school at 330...an hour round trip...AND THEN going back for another hour round trip to pick up the boyfriend at 530 from his football practice....AND THEN another hour round trip tonight to take him home.......and we do have a toddler to take out trick or treating....but like any other Holiday.....what's the point.

Why don't these two have any friends to go do something with? Get a license...do something. This same thing is going on non stop....every single weekend now I have to deal with the boyfriend and my DH's hours and hours of driving people back and forth.

I literally hope every day that SD and her boyfriend break up........

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

It is really weird that your DH does that.

I know with my daughter, my home will forever be a no boyfriend zone. I am not paying a mortgage on their smackshack. 

That your DH wants his 16 year old daughter getting macked on every time they're left alone in a room is beyond my comprehension.

You are in control of your children until they are independent adults. If they want to fly free before that, they have to accept the consequences of "flying free".

Just my opinion, of course.

Thisisnotus's picture

They sit in the room for hours......we never see them. When they are at boyfriends house they do the same...but boyfriends SM flipped her shit the last time b/c they were laying in the bed watching TV together so she kicked SD out.

I think it is so weird....and I am super non strict parent to my own 3 DD's....but this is too much for me. And this is the same SD who DH has to remind to shower, can't make herself a meal or poor a drink, or do laundry or microwave something.....for real.

Let us not forget who also pays for SD and the boyfriends dates....yes that would also be DH.

I guess I can't wrap my head around.....my DH is the same person who would only allow SD to listen to kids bop until she was like 12....DH and ex had their kids so sheltered.....and now we have a boy just laying up in her bed....but wait the door is open so it's all good.

Siemprematahari's picture

Your H must love playing chauffer. I hope all this driving gets old fast and for the life of me I don't get why he's so willing to do it. Is this his way to keep his daughter "happy" and afraid if he says NO that she'll flip out......

So many hours he's spending driving, that your child together is missing out on quality time with her father....smh..

Thisisnotus's picture

Yes, he is doing it to make her happy......he does pretty much any and everything SD's ask out of guilt...to make them happy...to make up for the fact that their mother (you know the primary custodian) is a fall down screaming raging drunk........b/c the last time drunk BM Drove the boyfriend home....she was so drunk that she drove with one eye open and drove off the rode a few times....so to make up for it....DH will do the driving. Brilliant.

hereiam's picture

It is weird for your DH to be so willing to do hours of driving to facilitate this teenage relationship.

I, myself, do not like chauffeuring people around. In fact, I wish that I had my own chauffeur.

Thisisnotus's picture

the thing is that we already (DH and I both) do TONS of chauffeuring of our kids already, so this just adds to it which is probably why it annoys me so. One SD doesnt sleep over but is here half the time....so 50% of the nights DH has to drive SD back to BMs which is an hour or more round trip...my kids are in sports which is alot of driving......like why on earth do we want to add in another person who lives even further away??

I just needed to vent so thank you!!! lol

 

tog redux's picture

It's interesting that you figure the SM calls the shots instead of assuming BF has a father who won't drive him around. Lol. 
 

Wonder how DH will feel if BF knocks up SD on his watch. 

hereiam's picture

Exactly what happened with my SD. BM heavily facilitated (pushed) a relationship between SD and the son of someone that BM knew (was sleeping with), and SD got pregnant at 17.

Thisisnotus's picture

SD is on the pill for something unrelated......but it's a good thing.

Thisisnotus's picture

What I meant by calling the shots is not wanting her DH to drive all over town non stop taking these two anywhere and everywhere....like my DH will do......SM and BF's dad have 2 small children and I'm guessing she wants her husband to spend time at home. SM is the one who droppped off BF for the first time....not his father...so from what I gather she is the boss.

For example....tonight I am guessing step mom wants her hubby to be home for halloween with the young kids to trick or treat....which is why my DH is picking up their son from football practice (totally insane)........b/c his parents probably just said no...and I think my DH just should have said no.

DH lives in the land of fairytales and sunshines....he probably doesn't even think SD and her BF kids...he literally is that insane. He acts like they are 5 year olds on a play date.....he looked at me like I was a lunatic when I mentioned them doing anything physical.

tog redux's picture

It could be the father - my DH would never do such a thing as drive his son all over town to see a GF. Not all men are pushovers.

Thisisnotus's picture

it could be.....but from I gather...SM is the disciplinarian and decision maker. The boyfriend complains to SD how much he hates his SM.

LuluOnce's picture

To be fair... ALL the step kids complain about their stepmom. Even the good step kids. Even the good SMs! SMs are always a problem to someone. That's why this site exists. So really, that this kid is complaining doesn't mean jack all. And what's he complaining about? "My SM won't drive me an hour across town so I can have sex with my girlfriend at her house!" Boohoo, stepbrat. 

Your gripe about DH driving everywhere for SD is valid. It's BS and I'd be frustrated too. But the way you worded your post sounds as if you are blaming the boyfriend's SM for his household not doing more of the driving when in reality, you'd take the exact stance for your SD as well. You think it's a bunch of bull. Boyfriend's SM thinks it's a bunch of bull. This difference is that her H agrees with her. Yours does not. 

Kiwi_koala's picture

Wow. I wasn't allowed to be in a relationship until I was 16, but even then my parents would not drive an hour to facilitate that. Ridiculous. I'm sorry but I think that's terrible. My father would get mad when men didn't pick me up for dates. He is old fashioned like that. If he can't drive himself he's too young to be in a relationship. Sorry kid.

Thisisnotus's picture

OMG Thank you!!! This is what I have been thinking. If you cant facilitate your own relationship.....you can't have one!

How does my DH not see that? This has been going on for a few months and it's draining what little I have left........both of these kids are about 17....get your license or suffer not having it and having no ride.

Kiwi_koala's picture

This really bothers me. You're not mature enough to be in a relationship if you don't have a job or business and a license. Do the boyfriend's SM and father give the boy money to date? This is gross. Your husband is basically pimping your stepdaughter out and asking for her to get pregnant. Sometimes BC pills fail.

HowBoutScottyDont's picture

What would happen if you told DH that tonight, all that driving is excessive. Picking up SD, sure, no prob, its his kid. But two hours of driving the boyfriend around? Seriously? I would make a big stink over that.

Thisisnotus's picture

what would happen? He would get all pissy and it would turn into some  huge deal and he'd be all mad.....and then sad....and then somehow it will be my fault..and how would he ever tell SD he changed his mind....SEE....that's the problem...he doesn't talk to me about this stuff beforehand....he just tells me last minute...I had not clue until right before I made this post that the boyfriend was coming over tonight......but DH knew....probably for days. I asked what the plans for tonight were....he replied with...whatever you want....and in the same sentence listed his travel obligations for the eve.......so I'm just gonna take our toddler out trick or treating while he is driving around the Boyfriend.....and call it a night before he gets back.

I don't normally say anything.....I just vent here....because I don't think it will do me any good.

SteppedOut's picture

Really stinks he is giving up trick-or-treaing with your toddler to drive around sd boyfriend. 

Ispofacto's picture

Someone likes SD, so she must be likeable, right?  Wrong.

A boy in our neighborhood started talking to Killjoy15 and DH was so elated, he offered to pay if Killjoy wanted to go out for a movie with the boy.  DH was so relieved that Killjoy may not be a lesbian (spoiler: she probably is), that he lost his mind with joy.  (He's not a bigot just doesn't want life to be difficult for her.) Attention from this boy has to be good for her VIP status, because he's on the football team.

I was like "WHAT? The entitled brat demanded to know why she'd ever want to earn her own money and you offered to pay for her and an almost grown boy to go out on a date together???"

Another straw that broke the camel's back.

 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Gah! These horrible "friend" parents that are so far up their kid's butts annoy me to no end. Especially the ones who allow/create circumstances where teen sex can occur. Having a baby when youre too young can derail even the smartest teen. My DH was a teen father, and that had a detrimental effect on his life for decades. Why would a parent want that for their child??

OP, you need to get ahead of this now by drawing a boundary with your DH. Make sure he understands and agrees that when (not if) the baby arrives, SD will not be living with you and you will not be raising her child for her. 

I think I'd rub his dumba$$ nose in it, frankly. Ask him if he's understands his baby is likely having sex, and if he wants her to live in poverty as an uneducated single mom. Ask if he's had SD put on birth control, if he's run to the store for condoms, tell him you've researched educational programs for teen moms in her school district, does he plan to be in the room when she gives birth, etc.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Gads. I'm so thankful that my DH flat out REFUSED to play chauffeur to the any of the skids. Especially when it came to the SDs and dating. DH works Mon-Fri until almost midnight and was not about to give up his Saturday nights drivng around.

2nd wives club's picture

Your DH imissing Halloween with your toddler to drive them around is insane.

YSS has a GF and my DD told me she doesn't particularly care for GF, because she vapes and heard rumors of her cheating with previous boyfriends. Last weeekend, YSS got up early...on a Saturday(!) and the first thing he asked me was to use the golf cart. I knew he was going to see her! So I told him to wait until I returned from running errands and he said okay. When I returned the golf cart was gone. YSS texted DH at work asking to use the golf cart and DH said okay. DH was unaware of my conversation with YSS. I was not a happy camper! When YSS got home he gave me this BS story and I literally looked at him and said "BULL$HIT" and he got mad and stormed off.

Hopefully GF is on birth control because YSS isn't very responsible and probably wouldn't take any precautions.

When MSS was still coming around, DH was okay with MSS and his GF staying by themselves at the house. She is history (Thank God) and DH is still questioning whose condom he found in the garbage. It could have been an aliens or something. lol

Not my kids, not my problem!

Siemprematahari's picture

I'm just gonna take our toddler out trick or treating while he is driving around the Boyfriend.....and call it a night before he gets back.I don't normally say anything.....I just vent here....because I don't think it will do me any good

You see this would be a problem for me. Your H is missing out on experiencing his toddler trick or treating because he's busy driving Miss Daisy around. How is this fair to your child? I don't care if he'd get upset, he would hear my mouth. Don't continue to bottle this stuff up, he needs to feel your wrath if not.....are you just going to continue accepting this?.....That's straight BS what he's doing.

 

tog redux's picture

Yeah, I don't really get the posters who never say anything to their husbands about any of this stuff. Can't be healthy.

SteppedOut's picture

This is one of the many issues I had with my formerSO. It's not "just" missing Halloween. It's putting his first family kid's every want/need/stupid bullcrap before he even considers his younger child. 

I felt as though he didn't/doesn't feel like our shared child is his "real" child - only first family kids. I am pretty sure you feel the same. 

Thisisnotus's picture

Yes, I do feel that in a way. He thinks his other kids need to be rescued and catered to by him b/c their BM is a drunk.....and pretty much just sucks all around. So, b/c he is a guilty daddy and BM is an alcoholic....DH has to go to the ends of the earth to make sure skids are happy.......except they are never happy enough.

He won't do anything to actually help the kids deal with their drunk mother and her crazy actions.......they all just act like that isn't really happening. Crazy people are all around me.

 

justmakingthebest's picture

I didn't read all the comments but I will say that there is no way I would go out of the way for my daughter to have a boyfriend! LMAO

I don't want her obsessing over a boy! I want her to keep up with softball, to work, to have her friends. 

I don't have unreasonable expectations that she won't have a boyfriend at 16 but I sure as hell won't go out of my way to drive them back and forth to be together! 

Thisisnotus's picture

Right!! I am totally with you.

SD has obsessed over a different boy each year of highschool, to the point where she was faling her classes both freshman and sophomore year.....and missed half the sophomore year when that boy and her broke up. This boy is the only one where they've had an actual lasting relationship.....and her grades are still suffering she just doesn't do her homework but tells DH she did it.....so just lies.

 

Kona_California's picture

This is just a thought.... but do you think it's possible he might be so eager to drive there for other reasons? Do you think it might be an affair? I know the thought is upsetting.... but it really is excessive and bizzare that he's so willing to drive that much, and miss out on experiences with your toddler. Maybe next time he has a spur of the moment call on his services to drive, tell him you want to go with him to spend time with him. Have SD watch the toddler, or bring baby. See how he reacts. 

Thisisnotus's picture

Say what? Lol 

an affair with his 16 year old daughter and/or boyfriend in the car...and/or 12 year old daughter in the car?  That’s a very interesting thought.

i don’t know where you got the spur of the moment call thing.....sd is here at our house and travels to and from with dh on boyfriend driving duty.

BethAnne's picture

This is why I would never have kids in an area without public transportation. Why aren’t this kids on a bus or their bicycles? Why don’t they have jobs to earn money for dates? This is all very strange to me. Maybe you should go the environmental route with your arguments and let them all know how much they are killing the planet with all of this driving (and how much all the gas is costing!) 

Thisisnotus's picture

As for public transportation....that’s out around here. The job thing we have already tried and it lasted for a week because “sd was too young to work”

let me ask 2 questions more....

BF was here on Halloween they didn’t come out of the room....the next day SD “burned her neck with with a curling iron” aka hickey....dh belived her....sd refused to go back to BMs cause BM would have her ass!!! Dh is just joking with her....and then BF is back the next night.

i was mad and said to DH....I live here too and I think I should have a say when and if BF comes over (nobody ever asks me)......he got all upset and mad at me saying how he didn’t think it was a big deal and why do I make a big deal out of everything...... so then I felt I was in the wrong. But I really don’t want a teen boy in my office every free day we have until 11 pm.

hereiam's picture

Has anybody, ever, really burned their neck with a  curling iron? Just start calling your husband, "Grandpa".

And I agree, you should have a say about who's in your home, when.

Thisisnotus's picture

Right? She made this huge elaborate story how she burned it....to the point where she said the curling iron broke and went to her neck....she even actually broke the curling and came to the kitchen to put it in the trash......odd since in all of history she has never thrown anything in the trash....let alone actually walk downstairs to the kitchen trash.....oh it was a pathetic story. He believes her!!!! This isn’t DHs weekend to have her....it’s BMs and SD knows why her BM can’t see her....the “burn”

BF shows up and SD is half dressed in some  lace bra with a half shirt .....I’m shaking my head in shock that my DH doesn’t care or see anything wrong with it.....and I’m thinking this is MY house and this is not okay with me. Upstairs they go to lay in the bed with the lights off.....what the F?? I just went to bed at 8 like I do every time this BF is here.

the thing is......I’m doomed. My dh seems okay with all of this (and all the transporting of BF) so if I put a tip to it then I’m the bad guy. But I did tell my DH that in normal families husband and wife consult with each other before okaying company to come over.....

 

 

Lollybobs's picture

This made me laugh! But only because she isn't mine - if she was, I would have a massive problem with it.

DH needs a come to Jesus meeting because you both need to be on the same page for this one. Obviously it would have been better if acceptable boundaries had been laid out before the boyfriend appeared on the scene so it will harder (but not impossible) to lay them down now. Is he happy for his daughter to be engaging in sexual activity under his roof? Would he be happy for the boyfriend to stay the night? Maybe he is - and that's on him - but it's your home too so if it's not ok with you, it's totally unreasonable for him to expect you to tolerate behaviour which you find unnacceptable. 

Thisisnotus's picture

Well it’s a shock to me because dh ans BM raised SD to be so sheltered, protected, helpless and immature....so imagine my surprise that this is allowed! I raised my kids the opposite but this crosses the line for me. if I say a cuss word in front of SD, DH gets all nervous like she might tell BM I said a bad word haha 

DH is way naive.....he thinks BF makes SD happy they are just kids....it’s innocent blah blah blah. Like I said he belives that she burned her neck.

i am a woman obviously so when I watch SD preparing for BFs arrival....shower....half dressed but loungey.....getting her room and bed all cleaned up.....uh I’ve been there done that and know exactly what’s up....how he doesn’t notice??? I don’t know.

and in the couple short months of them “laying in bed together” the physical progression is clear as day......and I’m like why are we allowing this in our house? It makes me uncomfortable, it makes my bio kids uncomfortable.....how on earth does it not make DH uncomfortable? I guess he’s blinded by that Disney daddy guilt???

 

Winterglow's picture

Is there any way you can let bm have an inkling of all this? I'm pretty sure she'd feel the way you do. Do you ever run into her? See her at any time?

hereiam's picture

This would just piss me off to no end. Naive is not the word I would use to describe your husband and I would tell him exactly what will NOT be happening, should SD get pregnant.

He is worried about BM finding out you say a cuss word in front of SD, but her having sex with her BF in her room is okay?

Granted, teenagers will find a way to have sex but I sure as hell would not make it easy for them. And they sure as hell would not be doing it in MY home, especially when I'M home.

 

Lollybobs's picture

Do you have the sort of relationship with BM that you could let her know your concerns? If DH isn't going to deal with it, BM might have to.

LuluOnce's picture

I've read through almost all of the comments and I would lose my ever-loving mind if I were in your shoes. You absolutely need to push back on DH. It sounds like you are afraid to make waves with DH... but why? He's going to get mad? So what?! What will happen if he's mad? What are you actually afraid of? 

I totally understand the discomfort of confrontation and I am not a fan either. But you are suffering just so you don't "cause trouble" with your DH and that in and of itself seems wayyy more problematic than DH driving SD all over. I am not saying you should get a divorce but you may well be on your way to one if you are in a marriage where your DH is repeatedly willing to lose time with both you and his toddler all to make sure SD is spending quality time with her boyfriend! 

Get mad at him. See what happens. Don't buy it back because you are not wrong. His behavior is ridiculous and you have a right to express your frustrations to him. (Ideally, through non-violence. But if you wanted to smack his face, I wouldn't blame you.)

Thisisnotus's picture

Thank you and I totally agree. It’s hard to explain really.....he’s way too much of a guilty daddy to ever understand my point of view and BM has been getting more drunk more often than usual and going off on SD and has pushed her and called her names so now DH is trying to make up for that by letting SD do whatever she wants ....

as I type this it’s Sunday night at 8:30 pm.....and dh is on his second hour drive of the last 3 hours to pick up SD from a PARTY!!! A party that he dropped her off at with BF....the most annoying part is he told her NO 4 times and even said NO is my final answer....then on the 5th time he’s up and in the car.

see....SD did ask for BF to come over and DH said no because i did tell him last night that I do get a say and that i don’t want this kid in my house 3- 4 nights a week until 10 pm. So then he felt bad for saying no so now SD is at party on a school night.......makes perfect sense.

I don’t often confront DH because it causes me grief and he won’t change anything 

MaryJ's picture

Do you not find it disrespectful to you or your home that your 16 yo SD is laying up in the house with a boy?

Call me old fashioned, but this would not be allowed in my home. 

My SO tried this with my SS and he learned real quick, that I do not sign permission slips for teenaers to have sex in the  house with me. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

We talk a lot about Disengaging on this site, but another option is to take charge and handle the problems our SOs are too weak or incapable of handling. It's a last resort, but it can work. We've seen it in cases where the H is too scared or guilt filled to parent, or when an adult skid has to be kicked out for egregious f#ckery but the H lacks the fortitude to do it. I did it with my own H, and scared him so badly that two things happened: the bs stopped immediately, and he respected me more than ever before because he was afraid of losing me.

 Sometimes the best option is to lace up your b!tch boots and unleash your wrath on all of the idiots. It's your home too, and your marriage being affected. Go off on your spineless H and tell him he needs to quit pimping out his daughter and driving her to booty calls; that he should be ashamed of himself for letting her, you, and his other child down so badly; and that if he doesn't pull his head out of his a$$ he'll be paying maximum c.s. to you because you'll be sure to tell the judge just how awful his parenting is to protect your baby from the unsavory things going on under his roof. Go off on SD and her bf. I'd throw him out of the house and tell him to never come back; tell SD she can screw all she wants, but not under your roof and take the damn door off the hinges. Tell her you're an adult, she's a child; she's not fooling you and you're not running a brothel.

Silence equals permission, remember that. And one advantage you have is that you seem like a quiet, rather passive person, so it adds further shock value for a person like that to go on the warpath. I was a super nice, generous and self-sacrificing door mat - until I laid into H with some home truths and threats. 

 

Thisisnotus's picture

Thank you for the advice.

Let me tell you something that is funny. I am 39 and married to DH since 36....so for 3 years out of 39 years I have been passive.

If you would tell this to people that used to know me....they would not believe. I lived a happy vivacious fun and exciting life until I was 36....I spoke my mind...took ZERO shit from anyone....ever. I was so happy. I don't recall any stress, hardhip, adversity, an xiety...nothing.......I loved living and loved life. I was a people person...people were drawn to me for fun and laughs and light heartedness.....I was never a door mat....to anyone. My friends used to envy me b/c I had ZERO issues telling people NO....when I didn't want to do something....or doing exactly what I wanted to do when and how I wanted to.

Being passive SUCKS and I cant seem to shake it. This is NOT who I am. Sadly, I think as long as DH is around.....this is me. He brings me down, he is negative, he is just this life sucking person...............ugh.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

It doesn't sound as if your marriage is a good place for you to be. Do you have options? Can you start expanding your social/support network so Your DH doesn't have as much impact on your self worth?

Thisisnotus's picture

That is so spot on! In my divorce my EX got all of the friends. Every single one. I have always been someone to have a huge social group, so that’s been hard for me. I haven’t had a chance to make new friends.....in this new marriage. I know that I need to. I often still mourn the loss of my original friend circle.

Ive been sort of defined by drama and BS that comes with divorce and blending families. 

i know I’m in this dark cloud that I need to get of.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Then may I gently suggest that you focus more on yourself and less on the f@ckery going on? I know at different times I allowed myself to become distracted by and overly involved with step issues because it was easier than dealing with my own issues. We all want to stare at that car wreck on the freeway, but we need to focus on controlling our own car.

Ultimately, you need to take excellent care of yourself so you can be the most awesome mother possible for your daughter. And sometimes, we have to be ruthless about prioritizing our own needs. It sounds as if you haven't had a chance to recover from some hard knocks and have deferred the work necessary in order to grow, get stronger, and be healthy. Your marriage may not be the best, and it may not even last, but perhaps it can afford the means to pay for some counseling? There have definitely been times when I've put my marriage in Neutral while I put my energies into self care. Please consider this. It's easy for us StepTalkers to tell you to leave, but it might be strategic to let the marriage drift for a bit while you work on yourself.

Thisisnotus's picture

I appreciate that adivce, thank you. I know I need to think about myself and the 3 teen daughters of my own, and our shared 1 year old. It makes it hard sometimes b/c I am sort of bound by the needs of a toddler and my full time job and a way too big house for me to keep up with.....plus step kid and BM drama and then add to that my own high conflict situation with my ex....GRRRRR....and of course DH's family AND my family can't get over our divroces and/or our exes....and it just becomes so much.

DH and I leave this week for a 5 day vacation all alone. I literally can't wait to get away and relax. Something has to give here and I've got to make some changes...........therapy is probably totally something I need.

I so want to not be involved in step issues but it is so hard when it's happening in my house and now we have an added guest (the BF) that just shows up and stays all day and night without my knowledge.....it makes me want to totally freak out and pack a suitcase and leave. haha

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Oh man, that's a lot on your plate. And I didnt't realize you have three other teen girls who are seeing and being exposed to this. As a mother, you have the right to tell your H that the f@ckery needs to stop. Maybe marriage counselling would help?

notasm3's picture

I'd probably give them time to get "comfy" - ie undressed and at it. Then walk in and sit down for a chat. Give them your views on how they can expect NOTHING from you if she gets knocked up. And laugh at them. 

momjeans's picture

Oh hell no.

She’s 16? Why isn’t she working and/or spending time with her girlfriends? 

I highly doubt this is going to be a forever relationship, so why is your DH investing so much of his time and effort into it? 

They could break-up tomorrow. You and your DH will never get that time spent, mileage put on your vehicle(s), and money spent on gas back. And all of that was for what again? To ensure SD gets a good amount of cuddle sessions in under your roof?

Ugh. Nope, no no no nope. 

Thisisnotus's picture

Right?? She literally has no friends!! None! She went to her BFs football games and either sat with us or BFs parents....not in the student section and spoke to no one her age.

Rags's picture

Inform DH that the next time he abandons his toddler and bride to cater to the loser BF that his key to the home will no longer work.  Then hand him two bus passes, one for SD and one for her BF, and tell DH to knock his shit off or GTF out.

End of problem.  One way or the other.