Won't marry me coz he's on the EX's insurance!
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We have been dating a year and had the "marriage " talk last night over dinner. I don't know how it is in other states but here in R.I. if you divorce and you are on your spouse's health insurance, you must maintain it until either one re-marries. Well, he has 100 % coverage through his ex's insurance. He says he wants to marry me, however all health issues are covered for him, and he can't afford it on his own. I don't like this, so he is going to be relying on her for as long as she is employed with the job she's at? Didn't Obmama just figure something out for us with health insurance? I don't like the idea of him still being tied to her for anything. I know health ins is a big thing, and quite expensive, am I being selfish? Thanks
LMAO if that is his excuse
LMAO if that is his excuse not to marry you then dump him now because he will never marry you.
That's so funny because a
That's so funny because a friend of mine just started dating a guy, and he hasn't divorced his wife because he's on her insurance. The guy is self employed. The friend of ours is 44 and she's never been married, so she's really looking forward to being married one day. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.
Exactly what Echo said. One
Exactly what Echo said. One of my best friends' brother lived with a woman for 10 years, she left because he wouldn't get married, within 2 years he had married someone else. DH and I got married young, when I asked him when we were dating(we were 19) what age he wanted to get married at, he said' I dunno, like 30 maybe? :jawdrop: Bitch I ain't dating you for 11 years! lol So I responded" Oh, so we're free to date other people is that what your saying?" He asked me to marry him 2 months later, at Christmas.
A friend of mine has an
A friend of mine has an ex-wife who lives in Michigan doing the same thing. She's been in a new relationship for ages but refuses to marry the guy because she'll lose her ex's (my friend's) insurance. She has a pre-existing condition so has always been concerned about getting decent coverage outside of his plan.
Needless to say, his new fiancé is not happy he's still carrying his ex-wife on his insurance plan .. but I don't think either one of them has commitment issues or is unwilling to remarry. Insurance can be VERY expensive, and if you're not in a financial situation to take that cost on, I could see the incentive to drag your feet .. especially if your future spouse doesn't mind putting it off.
pre-existings dont matter
pre-existings dont matter anymore-- so he should be scott free!
I agree. Without more info,
I agree.
Without more info, I don't think I could conclude that he's just stringing her along. They've been DATING for a year .. not like they're 5 years in with a ring on the finger and he's dragging his feet on setting a date.
At least he's being honest about his hesitations now.
Why would you even want to
Why would you even want to marry a user like that anyway. He clearly has no self respect as no self respecting man would behave this way. If he can't respect himself, he can hardly respect you. His actions clearly show he has no respect for you, none for her, and none for himself.
He's hot it all worked out nicely FOR HIMSELF, he gets all the comforts of a woman, but none of the responsibility.
Why again do you want to marry this creep.
Well, he is the one that
Well, he is the one that brought it up. I actually had no idea that it was a law that it was mandatory to keep health ins for the ex until they remarry. My sister has the same set up, her ex has paid for the two kids and everything health related for the last 6 years. (Wonder if the live in girlfriend minds that?) At any rate... I don't really want to marry this guy, I was just wondering if this is happening all over. I for one would cut all ties and pay my own stuff as best as I could if it were me.
Echo I liked your answer. Thank you
I know you are right, I do
I know you are right, I do deserve better.
In my jurisdiction RI, we
In my jurisdiction RI, we have what is called the health insurance continuation act, many people believe it is directed at them, but it is not, it is directed at the insurance companies, what it says in a nut shell is that once the parties are divorced the insurance companies cannot just remove the non-insured former spouse. I can't go through every possibility here but this is the basic concept. If the insured spouse receives the insurance at no cost then there is no issue, also we are just doing this for the parties assuming no children. Now say the insured spouse has to pay 200 a month for the family coverage and the other spouse wants to remain on there are two (2) options here, the other spouse will have to split the monthly cost so thats 100 per month, or the insured spouse can also look at the difference between a single plan and a family plan, now in many cases the single plan may still have no cost to the insured, but the family jumps to 200, so if the other spouse wants to stay on they have to pay the 200, or the single could be 50 per month and the family 200, so again to stay on the cost would be 150, understand, health insurance has been determined to be by every jurisdiction that I am aware of as a form of spousal support, and spousal support is based on a strong showing of need, so again read the state statute but in the end the other party should have to pay.
Sorry to highjack - So what
Sorry to highjack -
So what happens if insurance holder remarries? Can't add new spouse? Has two spouses? How long does this last?
From what I understand about
From what I understand about this here is this: My BF's Ex has worked at an animal hospital for 20 something years. The Dr. who owns the animal hospital pays ALL health insurance for his workers 100%, no out of pocket cost for anyone employed by him. I have recently learned that you can keep your ex on the insurance even though you get divorced UNTIL either one remarries, so in this case, she is the ins. provider, she remarries her ex (my BF) gets removed. He marries me, he loses his coverage. Like I said above, I don't like this. I'd like to see him cut ALL ties with this nutcase.
Your FDH's excuse just
Your FDH's excuse just doesn't sound right to me..
I am no expert in insurance, but I know personally I would rather not have insurance at all than be dependent on an ex! & if it were a choice between marry someone I wanted to marry or stay on my ex's insurance.. I mean come on. That should not even be something he has to consider.
Do you have health insurance? If so, can you add him? My DH was on my insurance for over a year before we married under "domestic partner."
If not, he can surely get the new Obamacare. It is not supposed to be very expensive. And if THAT is too much for him to pay, he may even quality for Medicaid (or whatever the version of that is in your state).
There has to be a better option than staying on his ex's insurance. That just doesn't make any sense to me.
I would still look into
I would still look into Obamacare, OP. My DH is on my insurance but we were curious to see if it would be cheaper for him to get Obamacare (his employer does not offer insurance)- it wasn't cheaper, but it was close. Only a little over $100 a month for Obamacare for my DH.
and pre-existings are not a
and pre-existings are not a factor anymore! (repeat post lol) I have a pre-existing and was able to switch insurance for the first time no hassle last month, so grateful.
Yeah the law mandated on
Yeah the law mandated on September 23rd that anyone under the age of 19 can not be denied based on a pre-existing, so several made the switch early for everyone. Its worth a call. Both Coventry and Blue Cross Blue Shield did it in September