Wondering if I can keep the relationship going or should I leave
Hello, I've just joined on here as am really struggling and wondering whether the problem is more myself than anyone else. I've been with my partner 6 years, we have two children together. He has a 16 year old daughter from a previous relationship who comes to stay a few times a week. She is not a difficult child, but I'm beginning to truly resent her and dread when she comes over. I've been as honest with him as I can without hurting him too much. I tried so hard with her initially but never got anything in return; she behaves awkwardly in front of me; she is super shy and clearly uncomfortable around me and has never warmed to me. She is not rude, aggressive or spiteful. I have now given up and when I can, I go out whenever she is here but it's not always easy when we have two little children. I can't be myself in my own home when she is here and that's what's making it so difficult, life is soo good when she's not here but when she is, I am so unhappy- I become stressed, upset and I know I am rude to my partner, it's not his fault. She has no friends, no interests, no hobbies, just screens, so it doesn't help that when she's here she just sits in front of rhe tv all day. I encourage him to take her out and do things with her but I feel at that age she shouldn't need entertaining all the time! Her mother seriously mistreated my partner, she is the spitting image. It's not her fault but it drives me mad that he gives her mum so much money and is so pleasant towards her after all the nasty things she has done. And various times she has walked into our house which has made me so angry but I can't say anything in front of the children. I have contemplated ending the relationship so many times but then I feel it isn't fair on our two young children and I am so happy otherwise. Equally I'm guessing his daughter isn't clueless and is picking up on a level of negativity from me. It sounds awful but I don't want a relationship with her, I don't want to bond with her. Am I naive to think this will all be easier in a Few years when she goes off to college?! I feel like an awful person saying these things as she is not a bad girl, but I don't have any love for her and I can't bear it when she is here anymore. I don't know how to move on!