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Why I hate vacations with SS13

annoyedSmom's picture

We did a trip to Disneyworld last week with husband and I, SS13, S11 and D10.

We were staying at the hotels onsite and I have been planning this for months. We had never been there before.

First, SS was already in a pissy mood the whole journey there because BM called him and told him it wasn't fair that she didn't get to be the one who took him to Disneyworld.

SS then asks us if BM can come on the trip with us. My husband says no way and cue the pissy attitude.

The kids were fighting non-stop in the car. And mostly because SS was starting it, not like my husband would ever admit to that.

The first day we get there and SS and our son are still getting into it with each other. My husband threatened to split the family into two and we would go around the park separately if they kept it up.

That night, SS says he wants a "heart to heart" talk with my husband. BM also uses that exact term by the way.

It turns out, he feels that he isn't really a part of the family and that my kids and I treat him different and that the two kids always gang up against him.

Now, you might call me an evil biatch for no longer having any sympathy but I have tried to get closer to SS sooo much over the years. But when he doesn't respect me, and when BM is also regularly badmouthing me to him all the time, there isn't much I can do.

Yes, I no longer try as hard as I used to to make him feel more included because of how I have been treated. And if he is rude to our kids, how else does he expect them to react? Also, our two spend more time with each other, it is only natural they have a closer bond.

But my husband falls for it hook line and sinker. After the talk, my kids and I end up in one room while my husband and SS are in the other. In an effort to punish our kids, I was punished as well. We spent the next three days as a divided family. My husband and SS went off to have fun by themselves.

On one hand I should be happy that I didn't have to deal with SS. But when i look at the pictures and see that my husband wasn't in 90% of them, I feel sad.

And it was made worse that on the last day before we left in the morning SS tells our son about some rides he went on that  we couldn't because of my daughter's height. That made my son feel like he missed out.

I spent the weekend really thinking about this. Yesterday I told my husband he allowed SS to successfully manipulate an amazing vacation I had worked hard to plan for. SS was the only one who got what he wanted this trip.

My husband countered that SS clearly doesn't feel at home with us and it's because of all our attitudes. And he says he has made mistakes by not fighting for more custody and he needs to fix it.

Oh yes, the issue is with us. Not the crazy BM who poisons him against us.

I haven't even approached the subject of the room change. I feel disappointed right now at how fractured our family has become.

Jjjessicuh's picture

My opinion is, no more vacations unless they include only yourself, husband, and bio daughter. That's a family vacation, as well as a fun and relaxing one. Why spend money on another womans kids? 

Sotired345's picture

You did is on your vacation?? This is why I don’t plan vacations because of this type of crap. I just posted something about step kids and vacations. So basically your SS ruined the vacation and your husband let him. Yup sounds about right. 

hereiam's picture

Your SS sure knows how to manipulate your husband. Can he really not see what his son is doing?

simifan's picture

I'd be furious. Why did you let him get away with it? If SO tried that crap I'd make sure we were always 2 separate families. 

Areyou's picture

DD and I hate going on vacation with SD as well. She fights and wants all the attention on her. She is also a little miniwife who wants her dads attention all the time. 

annoyedSmom's picture

I hate that I allowed the separation at Disneyworld too. But in that momemt, I too felt like it was the best decision. I only regretted it the next day. I should've spoken up then.

My husband is now all riled up and wants to try for more custody again. And he wants to do tis with what money exactly? It's so frustrating.

Siemprematahari's picture

What I don't understand is this whole "punishing us" comment. You are a grown woman so why was he punishing you? You allowed H to separate you all from a family vacation because his manipulative son got into his head and he allowed it. You are not a child and you need to stand up and let him know that he will never do that again. Why does SS get priority over the other kids? Next time he can keep his @ss home with his mother and if H doesn't like it he can stay too.

I'd be d@mned my H tries to "punish" me.....nip this now. I feel for you but don't allow for there to be a next time.

annoyedSmom's picture

Sorry, maybe I typed it wrong. I meant that it was supposed to punish the kids but in the end, I felt like I was punished too. My husband did discuss splitting up the kids and in that moment I felt pressured to agree. I regret it now though.

But when I tried to talk to him about I felt about the situation later, he only saw it from SS perspective.