Why I hate vacations with SS13
We did a trip to Disneyworld last week with husband and I, SS13, S11 and D10.
We were staying at the hotels onsite and I have been planning this for months. We had never been there before.
First, SS was already in a pissy mood the whole journey there because BM called him and told him it wasn't fair that she didn't get to be the one who took him to Disneyworld.
SS then asks us if BM can come on the trip with us. My husband says no way and cue the pissy attitude.
The kids were fighting non-stop in the car. And mostly because SS was starting it, not like my husband would ever admit to that.
The first day we get there and SS and our son are still getting into it with each other. My husband threatened to split the family into two and we would go around the park separately if they kept it up.
That night, SS says he wants a "heart to heart" talk with my husband. BM also uses that exact term by the way.
It turns out, he feels that he isn't really a part of the family and that my kids and I treat him different and that the two kids always gang up against him.
Now, you might call me an evil biatch for no longer having any sympathy but I have tried to get closer to SS sooo much over the years. But when he doesn't respect me, and when BM is also regularly badmouthing me to him all the time, there isn't much I can do.
Yes, I no longer try as hard as I used to to make him feel more included because of how I have been treated. And if he is rude to our kids, how else does he expect them to react? Also, our two spend more time with each other, it is only natural they have a closer bond.
But my husband falls for it hook line and sinker. After the talk, my kids and I end up in one room while my husband and SS are in the other. In an effort to punish our kids, I was punished as well. We spent the next three days as a divided family. My husband and SS went off to have fun by themselves.
On one hand I should be happy that I didn't have to deal with SS. But when i look at the pictures and see that my husband wasn't in 90% of them, I feel sad.
And it was made worse that on the last day before we left in the morning SS tells our son about some rides he went on that we couldn't because of my daughter's height. That made my son feel like he missed out.
I spent the weekend really thinking about this. Yesterday I told my husband he allowed SS to successfully manipulate an amazing vacation I had worked hard to plan for. SS was the only one who got what he wanted this trip.
My husband countered that SS clearly doesn't feel at home with us and it's because of all our attitudes. And he says he has made mistakes by not fighting for more custody and he needs to fix it.
Oh yes, the issue is with us. Not the crazy BM who poisons him against us.
I haven't even approached the subject of the room change. I feel disappointed right now at how fractured our family has become.