My SS was very entitled, whiny and lazy. He would also have a negative whiny attitude and hate everything that didn't fit his agenda. "I hate soccer, I hate basketball, I hate swimming, I hate this person or that person". He talked a lot of negativity. He was overweight and incredibly lazy. We tried every sport with him and he hated them all except baseball. He also hated all of his coaches and instructors as they were all "horrible" to him. The only sport he stuck with was baseball because there was a minimal amount of running involved. Even then he was the slowest kid on his team and ran far behind the rest. The sad thing was he was overweight and was starting to get picked on because of it. However that did not motivate him or his parents to try and get him to be more active however and make better eating choices. He would over eat constantly and nothing was ever done to address it. Last time I saw him he had a big belly that stuck out of his uniform and he looked much older than he was. I remember going to one of his games and he was the biggest, and slowest, kid on the field. That didnt stop his whiny attitude however. I almost felt bad for him until he started being rude and disrespectful to me for no reason whatsoever. If it were my kid I would've had him stick to something such as soccer or basketball. It seems he got away with an awful lot too, especially quitting. But he wasn't my kid and there are plenty of times I would watch him play and be thankful that he wasn't.
-his inability to have a backbone when it comes to BM
-the way he can’t distinguish between his brothers. He treats bm’s Spawn like crap because she lets them then comes home thinking he can do the same. Nope.
-the way he expects me to both play mom whenever BM doesn’t show as I’m suppose to magically know when she’s a no-show or magically know he needs a reminder to practice/do homework on the weekend (instead of placing responsibility on himself or gasp BM!)
-the fact that he’s not even a preteen yet and knows how to play the victim
I think the core issue most have is that typically you get these Disney parents ( not just dad's - in my case it's 100 percent the BM) who can't parent their kids.
I don't dislike mine anymore but that's because we are the house that enforces rules , boundaries etc and they both of my SDs like me a lot. Why? Because I let DH parent. I'll of course do so if I have to but otherwise I'm just honest with them about the world when they ask ( besides anything to do with parents of course)
There's other folks that truly just don't like having a stranger in the house regardless if it's for a weekend , 50/50 or full time. Those people should not marry someone with kids unless said kids are full grown. Even in that case apparently some unlucky few get to deal with late bloomers.. my sympathies there
I don't like OSD because we are very different people who would never have associated under normal circumstances. She is uncultured, has no education, has never lived independently, and has always expected others to pay her way through life. Additionally, she is filled with anger, lacks integrity, and is loyal only to herself. OSD is a shi!!y daughter to both of her parents. She's used the gskids to extort $$, borrowed money she never repays, and has shown that she would screw us out of our last quarter without a second thought.
I have two SS one is 13 we get along great I have no problems with him his mom & my fiancé hve a cordial mutual agreement & are very responsible my other SS is totally spoiled always gets his way has my fiancé wrapped around his finger he does whatever the child wants & the BM does too as well she sets all the rules & he follows them, my SS is always being rude to me & my son & tells us he doesn’t like us when we try to bond with him my son even says he’s his brother, he tells BM everything that happens at our house he even lies about things to get his way & lies to BM
Overall they are fine I guess. They are very kind to me and have been rude to me and I’ve never been mean or rude to them.
my main complaint is they are 11 and 16 year old girls who literally act like they are about 4 and 7. They climb on the furniture, climb on their dad like toddlers. They run around the house and play fight and scream like 4 and 7 year olds...they can’t even make their own dinner plate or cut up their own food....BM, DH and MIL treat them like babies so they act like babies. So they want the 16 year to drive a car but she can’t even make herself a sandwich.....that makes perfect sense.
Not one thing I do like. Mean person, loser, dork, smelly kid, ugly, stupid, disrespectful, inconsiderate but considers himself sooo nice, a bully, manipulator, complainer, annoying voice, bad breath. I literally would not care if he didn’t exist...well, I care because I’d prefer it. Hence me leaving my marriage.
Disrespectful, would go out of her way to ignore me and fail to acknowledge anything I did for her
A filthy pig. She would wear the same white sweatshirt for weeks until it actually started turning grey from filth. She would leave a mess anytime she cooked. She never washed her hands after using the bathroom, her room was a pigsty.
She was frequently throwing fits and claiming to be a victim when things rightfully didn’t go her way
she is lazy
Her constant shallow attempts to control her weight Despite forging herself on all manners of junk food She would barely eat her dinner as she was “watching her weight” but then gorge herself on massive amounts of junk food She would lightly workout one time for a short period of time and then fish for compliments as she could “see a difference” immediately from few minutes of light PT once every few weeks
Manipulative and entitled and ungrateful
The most minor inconveniences set her off into a perpetual foul mood
lazy, manipulative, entitled, jealous, inconsiderate, poor manners, lack social graces, unappreciative, you have to keep reminding them to say thank you or please constantly, whiny voices and whiny complaining comments, interrupt adult conversations, make rude comments, opinionated know it alls who just mimick whatever their mother says like a broken record, are incapable of getting themselves a glass of water or picking up after themselves yet they are both are plenty old enough and capable to do so but choose not to, bad breath, over indulgent, always pushing to get more and more when it comes to junk food, tv time, video game time, they are never happy or appreciative, they climb on furniture and don't know how to behave in other people's homes.
Ha, forgot about the “getting water and food for her princesses fight” I had with my STBXW. At 13 and 9 I had enough of getting them water or dishing up their food. I felt they were old enough and had been for sometime to serve themselves. STBXW was beside herself with anger.
They are entitled. They think the world owes them things.
They think nothing is ever their fault.
They’re unappreciative. They dismiss gifts, even if the gift is something they wanted.
They expect to be entertained and catered to at all times.
They’re boring. They would rather watch YouTube than do anything else.
They aren’t interested in anything and therefore, are pretty uninteresting.
They’re lazy.
They expect others to manage everything for them.
They’re manipulative.
They tell BM everything that goes on at our house while keeping everything that goes on at her house a secret.
They’re deadweight whenever we go anywhere. They can’t pack what they’d need without assistance and they refuse to help in carrying things.
They are clueless. They can’t find a rest room in a restaurant without assistance. They didn’t know how to cut with a fork and knife until I taught them (when they were 11).
Oh the telling BM everything while keeping all she does a secret. Drives me nuts. One, I don’t care what she does but then why does she care so much what we do? Pretending to be a caring parent? Too little too late. We cannot hav a private conversation in our home. SS relays everything to her down to if we so much as leave without him. Hey asshole we are going grocery shopping for you because you refuse to go with to pick things out you like. Oh but you’ll complain you don’t like what we got even though you loved it last week. Then tell BM we have no food for you.
omg my SD 11 does this.....her older sister told on her. We were literally sitting at restaurant at dinner....SD11 refuses to eat because she didn't choose the place....so just sits there staring off to space. SD 16 tries to get her to eat and then says "you alwasy do this, you don't eat at dad's and then you go home and cry to mom that you didn't get any dinner" So of course BM goes ballistic that we don't feed her dinner.....rinse and repeat.
He is the laziest sack of shit I have ever seen. When I first met him, he was a cute kid of about 10 - normal sized but a bit strange . He wouldn't really talk around me or my kids and liked to "hide" - like under the kitchen sink in the cabinet. Really strange. It was a bit better for a couple of years when DH and I were engaged and got married, for the first year or so. I think SS has gained like 80 pounds in the time I"ve known him - he is utterly repulsive and has the manners and hygiene of a barnyard animal. He does not try in school, he is not in sports (or any other activities), he does nothing but play video games. He does not appreciate a damn thing anyone does for him - my kids are kind and generous and tried to include him - each EOWE visit it was starting over. He is beyond socially awkward. SS is just a major underachiever; I"ve told DH no way will he ever live in our house, for any reason, especially if he has a 'failure to launch' (he's in 8th grade but I think that may be where he is headed). Oh and SS abused DH's credit card with his stupid video games and lied about it, causing DH to have to cancel his credit card etc. That piece of shit makes me sick. I cannot be around him.
Thanks for lett me vent - of course I feel bad that I feel this way and wish it weren't the case. Especially as DH is an amazing father to my kids - my 14 year old DD in particular adores him. Maybe this will change one day...in the meantime I am grateful I never see SS anymore as DH just takes him out to dinner/movie or something on "his" weekend. I wish it could be different.
Mostly because they don't like me and have been very rude and disrespectful. They have been rude in a passive aggressive covert way so that my dh does not catch it AND they have been blatantly rude in front of my dh and he would makes excuses for them.
My dh got the family home in the divorce (his x had the choice and chose to take the money instead). When dh & I married, I sold my home and moved into his. Big mistake! I was treated as the maid/servant that had no rights or say about anythig that went on in the home. The skids had the attitude that the house was THEIRS! SS11 at the time even told me once that if anything happened to me and dh that HE would give my kids what I brought into the marriage (even though they looked at everything I brought in; money, furniture, ect as THEIRS TOO).
The skids lived with us off and on and not necessarily at the same time. They were allowed to just show up and walk in unannounce & if one was living with us they had no problem with their siblings showing up and just walking in but when any of them were over or living with us and would see one of my kids show up and just walk in, it would anger them.
Over the years the double standard took its toll but things started looking somewhat better when we sold the old family home and purchased a new home. The skids did not like the fact that we sold (what they considered THEIR home) and that is when the bed wetting problem began with OSD's children. I put up with it for years before finally putting my foot down and did not care who did not like it. I insisted the kids wear pull ups EVERY SINGLE TIME they came over and EVERY SINGLE NIGHT they stayed.OSD did push back at first but I had finally drawn a line in the sand and it was not going to be crossed. The battle was hard but rather short and I won.
I have so many stories.
The simply answer to your question is BECAUSE THEY HATE ME! It is just so hard to be good, be nice, be polite, and get nothing back but hate and get no support from your dh because he is so worried about the little dears. After all they have been through so much!! Sarcasm totally intended!!
Things are better between me and my dh but he still has problems seeing the disfunction in HIS children.
My dh has 3 kids. Presently his middle daughter has had nothing to do with us in 10 years. His son as been estranged from us at least 3 times and has changed his last name to his brides last name. His oldest daughter had been estranged from us for over a year about 10 years ago. She can be polite and can also be very rude. My dh walks on eggshells when OSD is around and for that fact I think he walks on eggshells around SS too.
I don't like them because they are very disrespctful and unappreciative of my DH and he doesn't even realize it. They simply do not respect him even though he goes out of his way to do so much for them every day. They are very spoiled, entitled and disrespectful.
1- miniwife syndrome (think what they say or wanna do with my 2 toddlers supercedes my rules and they can do whatever they want with them)
2- narcissistic, manipulative, guiltive people
3- disrespectful
4- hypocrites
5- pathetic, lazy, self-entitled
6- immature/failure to launch
7- never take responsibility for their action and inaction
8- world revolves around them mentality
9- justify bad behaviour from themselves and bio mum and blame hubby for it
ss20:
1- narcissistic, manipulative, guiltive
2- disrespectful
3- hypocrite
4- pathetic, lazy, self entitled
5- immature, failure to launch
6- never take responsibility for their action and inaction
7- says its a womans job to raise and nurture kids and do all housework (that we are male servants) while men sit as king on their arses and take all the credit
8- invents an “imaginary stress syndrome) anytime daddy tells him to be respectful at home and not ignore everyone and do chores.
9- said to his dad he can’t talk to me with a basic hello and acknowledge i am present in his life and home because he is clumsy with stranger women, to which hubby said in a polite way “that’s my fuc*ing wife of 4+ years and mother to my 2 kids, your half siblings”
10- ignores everyone at home and pretend we don’t exist
11- world revolves around him mentality
12- justify bad behaviour and blames it on dad or threatens to run away from home
13- answers back with an excuse to everything and with attitude and rudeness
Certainly there were times when he pissed me off beyond measuer but... overall he was a good kid. He has become a man that I am proud to have raised as my own
Sadly it was always the other way round - they (OSD in particular) didn't like me
But now, years of abuse and crap from her later, I would say I don't like my SD's entitled behavior
I don't like how 'blood is everything' and the SM (and their SF) have been treated worse than second-class citizens regardless of always treating them with class and dignity
I really really really don't like how my OSD plays the old 'I'll walk out of your life' card every time she doesn't get her way with DH, every time she feels jealous and insecure of me/my relationship with DH, every time she just feels like acting like an as*&)&^ and thinks she can get away with this
I don't like how my YSD puts on an act of liking me (perhaps she even may) but publicly these days (FB, or the times in recent years at get together's where BM, SIL, OSD may be) she is cool and distant towards me. Despite me being nothing but fall over backwards kind and nice to her, for her entire years knowing me
I could write a book a foot thick about all the stunts and things that I don't like, but suffice it to say, there are more than enough reasons these days that I don't like really like my SD's much, or being around them :(
She's gross. She showers Thursday, wont shower again until Sunday. She also says she doesn't change her underwear unless she showers.... *bad* ands when dh tells her she needs to shower, she argues about it, saying she just showered on thursday! She also never brushes her teeth. Her teeth are yellow and get gums are bright red.
She's a moron. She has no idea where any major countries are (she's 14) being in the US she should at least know where Canada and Mexico are. If you live in Asia, you know where China and Japan and India are. If you are Britain, you should know where Ireland and Scotland are. At least by the age of 14! When dh tries to remind her where Canada and Mexico are she gets mad and argues that she hasn't taken geography yet. We border one of those countries, you should know where away least THAT one is!
She argues about everything! She "knows"there is a bone that people have that animals like dogs and cats don't have that help us talk. Even after dh had her look it up on the internet, so that she could "remember"what the bone is called, she couldn't find it. She STILL wanted to argue that she was right.
She's so afraid of getting hurt. She is 14 and still doesn't know how to ride her bike. We tried training wheels, we had her padded up with helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, and teeth guards, any time she fell she screamed and cried. We did this for months. Finally dh gave up because as soon as he'd let go of the bike she'd throw her legs out and scream. He never got past that part.
She's terrified to try anything new. She literally will cry.
She's supposedly allergic to certain foods, even though she's accidentally eaten them several times in front of dh and me. Allergic to almonds, she's eaten cereal with almonds in it, she's eaten almond bark cookies, had cookies made with almond flour. Allergic to mangoes, but an entire summer had smoothies made with mangos AND almond milk.
I'm getting better with him bu I still struggle a lot.
For me:
Whiney. SO bloody whiney.
Pouty and manipulative when he doesn't get what he wants. It's not so endearing when you're 6.
The volume level. I have insisted they go get his ears checked because he's SO LOUD. And he makes noise non-stop. He can't just exist in quiet. Always making sounds or talking or just....never ending.
Same with my sd 14, so freaking whiney! Constantly yelling instead of talking! The song is the worst because she'll yell over you too make her point heard. Even though her point is ridiculously wrong.
He's 10. He can't do anything by himself. He acts like taking a 3 min shower is a terrible chore. He doesn't throw anything away or pick up anything he sprawls all over the house. He never gets dressed himself. He wants presents and rewards for every slightest good thing he does...such as doing something, anything, without a massive bargaining argument. He wants his dad to fall asleep next to him, carry him, shower with him, basically he wants 100% attention in over the top ways constantly because he knows he'll get it.
Addicted to video games. Literally lies when someone asks if he can do something (even small things) so he doesn’t have to do them himself. I hate his family dynamics with his mother. He’s blamed my DH for breaking his stuff so he doesn’t get into trouble. I hate how stupid he acts, and that I’m actually supposed to do something with him when no one else wants to take the time with him. Everyone else just thinks he’s developed less, or that he doesn’t really do much wrong because he’s not obvious. But he’s on the regular admitted that he’s lying on purpose to me and my mother once. He is unappreciative and entitled and rude and a habitual liar and manipulator. He literally acts like a five year old when asked to do a small chore or even make himself a pb and j. thank god he gets up to get his own drinks himself now (I had to teach him that we wouldn’t, it took a LONG time) as he did before. He’s sweet when video games are not something he can do, and overall not as bad as he’s been where I felt sick anxious being in the same room, but still a butt. I don’t like interacting with his family because they’re nice to your face, and searching for reasons to hurt DH behind his back ostensibly for SS. Recently they though I trusted them to watch DH and I DD who is two. Nope.
My SS was very entitled,
My SS was very entitled, whiny and lazy. He would also have a negative whiny attitude and hate everything that didn't fit his agenda. "I hate soccer, I hate basketball, I hate swimming, I hate this person or that person". He talked a lot of negativity. He was overweight and incredibly lazy. We tried every sport with him and he hated them all except baseball. He also hated all of his coaches and instructors as they were all "horrible" to him. The only sport he stuck with was baseball because there was a minimal amount of running involved. Even then he was the slowest kid on his team and ran far behind the rest. The sad thing was he was overweight and was starting to get picked on because of it. However that did not motivate him or his parents to try and get him to be more active however and make better eating choices. He would over eat constantly and nothing was ever done to address it. Last time I saw him he had a big belly that stuck out of his uniform and he looked much older than he was. I remember going to one of his games and he was the biggest, and slowest, kid on the field. That didnt stop his whiny attitude however. I almost felt bad for him until he started being rude and disrespectful to me for no reason whatsoever. If it were my kid I would've had him stick to something such as soccer or basketball. It seems he got away with an awful lot too, especially quitting. But he wasn't my kid and there are plenty of times I would watch him play and be thankful that he wasn't.
To name a few that jump to
To name a few that jump to mind:
-the way he flips back and forth with us and BM
-how whiny and sensitive he is about everything
-how easily he is bought with money & games
-his inability to have a backbone when it comes to BM
-the way he can’t distinguish between his brothers. He treats bm’s Spawn like crap because she lets them then comes home thinking he can do the same. Nope.
-the way he expects me to both play mom whenever BM doesn’t show as I’m suppose to magically know when she’s a no-show or magically know he needs a reminder to practice/do homework on the weekend (instead of placing responsibility on himself or gasp BM!)
-the fact that he’s not even a preteen yet and knows how to play the victim
I think the core issue most
I think the core issue most have is that typically you get these Disney parents ( not just dad's - in my case it's 100 percent the BM) who can't parent their kids.
I don't dislike mine anymore but that's because we are the house that enforces rules , boundaries etc and they both of my SDs like me a lot. Why? Because I let DH parent. I'll of course do so if I have to but otherwise I'm just honest with them about the world when they ask ( besides anything to do with parents of course)
There's other folks that truly just don't like having a stranger in the house regardless if it's for a weekend , 50/50 or full time. Those people should not marry someone with kids unless said kids are full grown. Even in that case apparently some unlucky few get to deal with late bloomers.. my sympathies there
I don't like OSD because we
I don't like OSD because we are very different people who would never have associated under normal circumstances. She is uncultured, has no education, has never lived independently, and has always expected others to pay her way through life. Additionally, she is filled with anger, lacks integrity, and is loyal only to herself. OSD is a shi!!y daughter to both of her parents. She's used the gskids to extort $$, borrowed money she never repays, and has shown that she would screw us out of our last quarter without a second thought.
SS
I have two SS one is 13 we get along great I have no problems with him his mom & my fiancé hve a cordial mutual agreement & are very responsible my other SS is totally spoiled always gets his way has my fiancé wrapped around his finger he does whatever the child wants & the BM does too as well she sets all the rules & he follows them, my SS is always being rude to me & my son & tells us he doesn’t like us when we try to bond with him my son even says he’s his brother, he tells BM everything that happens at our house he even lies about things to get his way & lies to BM
Overall they are fine I guess
Overall they are fine I guess. They are very kind to me and have been rude to me and I’ve never been mean or rude to them.
my main complaint is they are 11 and 16 year old girls who literally act like they are about 4 and 7. They climb on the furniture, climb on their dad like toddlers. They run around the house and play fight and scream like 4 and 7 year olds...they can’t even make their own dinner plate or cut up their own food....BM, DH and MIL treat them like babies so they act like babies. So they want the 16 year to drive a car but she can’t even make herself a sandwich.....that makes perfect sense.
Not one thing I do like. Mean
Not one thing I do like. Mean person, loser, dork, smelly kid, ugly, stupid, disrespectful, inconsiderate but considers himself sooo nice, a bully, manipulator, complainer, annoying voice, bad breath. I literally would not care if he didn’t exist...well, I care because I’d prefer it. Hence me leaving my marriage.
SD15
SD15
Habitual liar.
Disrespectful, would go out of her way to ignore me and fail to acknowledge anything I did for her
A filthy pig. She would wear the same white sweatshirt for weeks until it actually started turning grey from filth. She would leave a mess anytime she cooked. She never washed her hands after using the bathroom, her room was a pigsty.
She was frequently throwing fits and claiming to be a victim when things rightfully didn’t go her way
she is lazy
Her constant shallow attempts to control her weight Despite forging herself on all manners of junk food She would barely eat her dinner as she was “watching her weight” but then gorge herself on massive amounts of junk food She would lightly workout one time for a short period of time and then fish for compliments as she could “see a difference” immediately from few minutes of light PT once every few weeks
Manipulative and entitled and ungrateful
The most minor inconveniences set her off into a perpetual foul mood
she is very narcissistic and vapid
Just am all around unpleasant person to be around
lazy, manipulative, entitled,
lazy, manipulative, entitled, jealous, inconsiderate, poor manners, lack social graces, unappreciative, you have to keep reminding them to say thank you or please constantly, whiny voices and whiny complaining comments, interrupt adult conversations, make rude comments, opinionated know it alls who just mimick whatever their mother says like a broken record, are incapable of getting themselves a glass of water or picking up after themselves yet they are both are plenty old enough and capable to do so but choose not to, bad breath, over indulgent, always pushing to get more and more when it comes to junk food, tv time, video game time, they are never happy or appreciative, they climb on furniture and don't know how to behave in other people's homes.
Ha, forgot about the “getting
Ha, forgot about the “getting water and food for her princesses fight” I had with my STBXW. At 13 and 9 I had enough of getting them water or dishing up their food. I felt they were old enough and had been for sometime to serve themselves. STBXW was beside herself with anger.
Why do these parents insist
Why do these parents insist on coddling their kids?
They are entitled. They think
They are entitled. They think the world owes them things.
They think nothing is ever their fault.
They’re unappreciative. They dismiss gifts, even if the gift is something they wanted.
They expect to be entertained and catered to at all times.
They’re boring. They would rather watch YouTube than do anything else.
They aren’t interested in anything and therefore, are pretty uninteresting.
They’re lazy.
They expect others to manage everything for them.
They’re manipulative.
They tell BM everything that goes on at our house while keeping everything that goes on at her house a secret.
They’re deadweight whenever we go anywhere. They can’t pack what they’d need without assistance and they refuse to help in carrying things.
They are clueless. They can’t find a rest room in a restaurant without assistance. They didn’t know how to cut with a fork and knife until I taught them (when they were 11).
Oh the telling BM everything
Oh the telling BM everything while keeping all she does a secret. Drives me nuts. One, I don’t care what she does but then why does she care so much what we do? Pretending to be a caring parent? Too little too late. We cannot hav a private conversation in our home. SS relays everything to her down to if we so much as leave without him. Hey asshole we are going grocery shopping for you because you refuse to go with to pick things out you like. Oh but you’ll complain you don’t like what we got even though you loved it last week. Then tell BM we have no food for you.
omg my SD 11 does this....
omg my SD 11 does this.....her older sister told on her. We were literally sitting at restaurant at dinner....SD11 refuses to eat because she didn't choose the place....so just sits there staring off to space. SD 16 tries to get her to eat and then says "you alwasy do this, you don't eat at dad's and then you go home and cry to mom that you didn't get any dinner" So of course BM goes ballistic that we don't feed her dinner.....rinse and repeat.
SS is Vile
He is the laziest sack of shit I have ever seen. When I first met him, he was a cute kid of about 10 - normal sized but a bit strange . He wouldn't really talk around me or my kids and liked to "hide" - like under the kitchen sink in the cabinet. Really strange. It was a bit better for a couple of years when DH and I were engaged and got married, for the first year or so. I think SS has gained like 80 pounds in the time I"ve known him - he is utterly repulsive and has the manners and hygiene of a barnyard animal. He does not try in school, he is not in sports (or any other activities), he does nothing but play video games. He does not appreciate a damn thing anyone does for him - my kids are kind and generous and tried to include him - each EOWE visit it was starting over. He is beyond socially awkward. SS is just a major underachiever; I"ve told DH no way will he ever live in our house, for any reason, especially if he has a 'failure to launch' (he's in 8th grade but I think that may be where he is headed). Oh and SS abused DH's credit card with his stupid video games and lied about it, causing DH to have to cancel his credit card etc. That piece of shit makes me sick. I cannot be around him.
Thanks for lett me vent - of course I feel bad that I feel this way and wish it weren't the case. Especially as DH is an amazing father to my kids - my 14 year old DD in particular adores him. Maybe this will change one day...in the meantime I am grateful I never see SS anymore as DH just takes him out to dinner/movie or something on "his" weekend. I wish it could be different.
No need to feel bad for
No need to feel bad for justifiably not liking someone that is like that. I think it is a normal reaction.
Mostly because they don't
Mostly because they don't like me and have been very rude and disrespectful. They have been rude in a passive aggressive covert way so that my dh does not catch it AND they have been blatantly rude in front of my dh and he would makes excuses for them.
My dh got the family home in the divorce (his x had the choice and chose to take the money instead). When dh & I married, I sold my home and moved into his. Big mistake! I was treated as the maid/servant that had no rights or say about anythig that went on in the home. The skids had the attitude that the house was THEIRS! SS11 at the time even told me once that if anything happened to me and dh that HE would give my kids what I brought into the marriage (even though they looked at everything I brought in; money, furniture, ect as THEIRS TOO).
The skids lived with us off and on and not necessarily at the same time. They were allowed to just show up and walk in unannounce & if one was living with us they had no problem with their siblings showing up and just walking in but when any of them were over or living with us and would see one of my kids show up and just walk in, it would anger them.
Over the years the double standard took its toll but things started looking somewhat better when we sold the old family home and purchased a new home. The skids did not like the fact that we sold (what they considered THEIR home) and that is when the bed wetting problem began with OSD's children. I put up with it for years before finally putting my foot down and did not care who did not like it. I insisted the kids wear pull ups EVERY SINGLE TIME they came over and EVERY SINGLE NIGHT they stayed.OSD did push back at first but I had finally drawn a line in the sand and it was not going to be crossed. The battle was hard but rather short and I won.
I have so many stories.
The simply answer to your question is BECAUSE THEY HATE ME! It is just so hard to be good, be nice, be polite, and get nothing back but hate and get no support from your dh because he is so worried about the little dears. After all they have been through so much!! Sarcasm totally intended!!
Things are better between me and my dh but he still has problems seeing the disfunction in HIS children.
My dh has 3 kids. Presently his middle daughter has had nothing to do with us in 10 years. His son as been estranged from us at least 3 times and has changed his last name to his brides last name. His oldest daughter had been estranged from us for over a year about 10 years ago. She can be polite and can also be very rude. My dh walks on eggshells when OSD is around and for that fact I think he walks on eggshells around SS too.
Oh lawd, why do I dislike
Oh lawd, why do I dislike exSD? It's best said in the quiet passion of a restated poem: "How do I detest thee? Let me count the ways..."
I don't like them because
I don't like them because they are very disrespctful and unappreciative of my DH and he doesn't even realize it. They simply do not respect him even though he goes out of his way to do so much for them every day. They are very spoiled, entitled and disrespectful.
Here goes
Sd23 & sd14:
1- miniwife syndrome (think what they say or wanna do with my 2 toddlers supercedes my rules and they can do whatever they want with them)
2- narcissistic, manipulative, guiltive people
3- disrespectful
4- hypocrites
5- pathetic, lazy, self-entitled
6- immature/failure to launch
7- never take responsibility for their action and inaction
8- world revolves around them mentality
9- justify bad behaviour from themselves and bio mum and blame hubby for it
ss20:
1- narcissistic, manipulative, guiltive
2- disrespectful
3- hypocrite
4- pathetic, lazy, self entitled
5- immature, failure to launch
6- never take responsibility for their action and inaction
7- says its a womans job to raise and nurture kids and do all housework (that we are male servants) while men sit as king on their arses and take all the credit
8- invents an “imaginary stress syndrome) anytime daddy tells him to be respectful at home and not ignore everyone and do chores.
9- said to his dad he can’t talk to me with a basic hello and acknowledge i am present in his life and home because he is clumsy with stranger women, to which hubby said in a polite way “that’s my fuc*ing wife of 4+ years and mother to my 2 kids, your half siblings”
10- ignores everyone at home and pretend we don’t exist
11- world revolves around him mentality
12- justify bad behaviour and blames it on dad or threatens to run away from home
13- answers back with an excuse to everything and with attitude and rudeness
I don’t dislike my stepkids
I don’t dislike my stepkids but I do dislike how they treat their father.
I don't dislike my Skid
Certainly there were times when he pissed me off beyond measuer but... overall he was a good kid. He has become a man that I am proud to have raised as my own
Sadly it was always the other
Sadly it was always the other way round - they (OSD in particular) didn't like me
But now, years of abuse and crap from her later, I would say I don't like my SD's entitled behavior
I don't like how 'blood is everything' and the SM (and their SF) have been treated worse than second-class citizens regardless of always treating them with class and dignity
I really really really don't like how my OSD plays the old 'I'll walk out of your life' card every time she doesn't get her way with DH, every time she feels jealous and insecure of me/my relationship with DH, every time she just feels like acting like an as*&)&^ and thinks she can get away with this
I don't like how my YSD puts on an act of liking me (perhaps she even may) but publicly these days (FB, or the times in recent years at get together's where BM, SIL, OSD may be) she is cool and distant towards me. Despite me being nothing but fall over backwards kind and nice to her, for her entire years knowing me
I could write a book a foot thick about all the stunts and things that I don't like, but suffice it to say, there are more than enough reasons these days that I don't like really like my SD's much, or being around them :(
She's gross. She showers
She's gross. She showers Thursday, wont shower again until Sunday. She also says she doesn't change her underwear unless she showers.... *bad* ands when dh tells her she needs to shower, she argues about it, saying she just showered on thursday! She also never brushes her teeth. Her teeth are yellow and get gums are bright red.
She's a moron. She has no idea where any major countries are (she's 14) being in the US she should at least know where Canada and Mexico are. If you live in Asia, you know where China and Japan and India are. If you are Britain, you should know where Ireland and Scotland are. At least by the age of 14! When dh tries to remind her where Canada and Mexico are she gets mad and argues that she hasn't taken geography yet. We border one of those countries, you should know where away least THAT one is!
She argues about everything! She "knows"there is a bone that people have that animals like dogs and cats don't have that help us talk. Even after dh had her look it up on the internet, so that she could "remember"what the bone is called, she couldn't find it. She STILL wanted to argue that she was right.
She's so afraid of getting hurt. She is 14 and still doesn't know how to ride her bike. We tried training wheels, we had her padded up with helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, and teeth guards, any time she fell she screamed and cried. We did this for months. Finally dh gave up because as soon as he'd let go of the bike she'd throw her legs out and scream. He never got past that part.
She's terrified to try anything new. She literally will cry.
She's supposedly allergic to certain foods, even though she's accidentally eaten them several times in front of dh and me. Allergic to almonds, she's eaten cereal with almonds in it, she's eaten almond bark cookies, had cookies made with almond flour. Allergic to mangoes, but an entire summer had smoothies made with mangos AND almond milk.
And she lies to get pity
She manipulates to get her way
Cries to get out of trouble.
Shifts blame to get out of trouble.
I'm getting better with him
I'm getting better with him bu I still struggle a lot.
For me:
Whiney. SO bloody whiney.
Pouty and manipulative when he doesn't get what he wants. It's not so endearing when you're 6.
The volume level. I have insisted they go get his ears checked because he's SO LOUD. And he makes noise non-stop. He can't just exist in quiet. Always making sounds or talking or just....never ending.
Same with my sd 14, so
Same with my sd 14, so freaking whiney! Constantly yelling instead of talking! The song is the worst because she'll yell over you too make her point heard. Even though her point is ridiculously wrong.
He's 10. He can't do anything
He's 10. He can't do anything by himself. He acts like taking a 3 min shower is a terrible chore. He doesn't throw anything away or pick up anything he sprawls all over the house. He never gets dressed himself. He wants presents and rewards for every slightest good thing he does...such as doing something, anything, without a massive bargaining argument. He wants his dad to fall asleep next to him, carry him, shower with him, basically he wants 100% attention in over the top ways constantly because he knows he'll get it.
Addicted to video games.
Addicted to video games. Literally lies when someone asks if he can do something (even small things) so he doesn’t have to do them himself. I hate his family dynamics with his mother. He’s blamed my DH for breaking his stuff so he doesn’t get into trouble. I hate how stupid he acts, and that I’m actually supposed to do something with him when no one else wants to take the time with him. Everyone else just thinks he’s developed less, or that he doesn’t really do much wrong because he’s not obvious. But he’s on the regular admitted that he’s lying on purpose to me and my mother once. He is unappreciative and entitled and rude and a habitual liar and manipulator. He literally acts like a five year old when asked to do a small chore or even make himself a pb and j. thank god he gets up to get his own drinks himself now (I had to teach him that we wouldn’t, it took a LONG time) as he did before. He’s sweet when video games are not something he can do, and overall not as bad as he’s been where I felt sick anxious being in the same room, but still a butt. I don’t like interacting with his family because they’re nice to your face, and searching for reasons to hurt DH behind his back ostensibly for SS. Recently they though I trusted them to watch DH and I DD who is two. Nope.