Why be so difficult?! Grr *Vent*
So the court order my SO has states that at the beginning of contact he is to pick up SD, at the end of contact Crazy B!tch picks up SD. Unfortunately, the court order does not state location, it was discussed at the meeting that pick up would happen from either of the parents homes, or if out and about like dance class.
Since then, crazy b!tch gave SO a trespass notice so he is unable to step onto her property. That was fine till one day she went nuts, called the police and lied about SO going on to her property. SO will NEVER go to her house unaccompanied anymore!
Crazy b!tch must have tried to complain to the courts but was brushed off. So last week, to make a statement of POWER, she told SO pick-up and drop-off will happen at McDonalds.
He said he will pick SD up from anywhere, but she can come to our house at the end of contact (which is at 6.30pm, its winter here, so cold and dark at that time, and at a busy time of dinner and bath so he told her he ain't leaving the house!)
All this BS is because SO moved in with me and crazy b!tch doesn't want to come to "my" house *rolleyes*.
Pick-up for contact is in one hour and SO has not heard from crazy b!tch about where to pick SD up from today, she wont answer her phones.
ARRRGGGHHHH *pull hair out* WWHHHHHHYYYYYYY must she be so effing difficult?!?!
So BANG on 4.30, which was
So BANG on 4.30, which was the pick-up time, SO gets a text. *meet at McDonalds at 4.30* followed by a phone call
[BM sounds extra chirpy and friendly]
Hi there, did you get any of my texts today?
Only just the one you sent right now.
Oh my god, that's so crazy, I've been texting all day, I thought it was really weird that you didn't reply *giggles* anyway, we're here at McD's now, see you soon.
GROAN.
She irritates the hell out of me. I know, i know, I need to get to that happy place where BM doesn't bother me, I'm working on it.
*Sigh
So the question is: did he
So the question is: did he take the kid to McDonalds or stand firm to BM and make her come pick the kid up?
She came here last week but
She came here last week but said to him "so from next week on wards we'll meet at McD's"
She must have contacted childs lawyer, my SO got a letter, lawyer basically said it's up to SO, he doesn't have to leave his house at end of contact if he doesn't want to and that it would be in SO's best interest to have someone in the car with him at all handovers.
BM not coming to your home is
BM not coming to your home is a good thing.
I would try to get dad to meet her away from the house.
agreed. our Batshit BM
agreed.
our Batshit BM doesn't even know where we live. Fine by me.
If he can get BM to agree to
If he can get BM to agree to McDonalds and a set time (not flipping around place and time), I'd go with it. Or another place which is evenly spaced between the two homes. When the agreement of BM/Dad houses was signed, Dad wasn't living in your home. Dad actually moved and changed the pick-up place first.
IMO it's not worth fighting over. It keeps BM away from your home and you and it keeps Dad safe from any foolishness BM might be able to try at her house. It gives both parties a neutral place with witnesses.
Personally, i think people
Personally, i think people who do handovers with children at fast food restaurants or playgrounds are idiotic!!!! My ex wanted us to do handover at McD's, i told him there is no way I'm adding 30mins to swap overs so the kids could play OR drive off with grumpy kids cause I didn't let them stay and play or buy them something, so we met at a service station.
The point is, THERE IS A COURT ORDER!!!!!!!!!! It was discussed IN LENGTH with three lawyers, (their own lawyers and the childs lawyer) it was made clear that it was in the childs best interest that responsibility for handovers be shared equally by the parents b/c up to that point my SO had done ALL the driving for over 3 years of the child's life.
There has NEVER been any drama with pick-up at the end of contact. BM didn't want to go to his last home either, she parked in the driveway, sent SO a text saying she was there and he took SD out to her car. There's no reason why that can't happen here at SO's new home.
SO WILL NOT give into BM's pathetic power play games! Meeting at McD's when there has never been an issue at end of contact is PATHETIC!!
These BM's are truly crazy,
These BM's are truly crazy, no logic to their brains at all. Our BM wanted the divorce, got him out of the house by saying he had physically hit her (so not true) also said he tried to poison her. So its a "I don't want to be married to you anymore but leave me the kids, the house, the car oh and all your money for the next 15 years" situation. Their lives are miserable as they then sit and plot ways to get even when the husband moves on and finds a nice woman and a new home. They cannot stand it. Sigh. Seems to be a way of life for these women, when I hear stories like yours I am embarrassed for my gender.
While I don't think I'd like
While I don't think I'd like my SO to have to drive to a fast food restaurant to do hand overs I hate BM coming to our house. I had to start locking the door when it's time for her to drop SD7 off...SD blasts through the door without knocking if I don't and crazy BM follows right behind her. Right into the house, like she's family or something. At least this way they have to knock first and SO can head the insane one off at the pass, he stands at the door so she can't come in. The woman really doesn't understand boundaries! Last time they came I could hear her at the door imploring SO to come out to the car to see her new puppy (and he was stupid enough to do it, ended up stuck out front listening to her babble for half an hour. Serves him right.)
Hey if this woman is nuts enough to call the police because your SO 'stepped on her property' it's probably wise to have a public hand over. I'm sure it's inconvenient for her too. If it were me I'd wait til she tires of the situation and wants to change to something more convenient and then insist on keeping the public handover lol. She's the nutter in the situation, why not let her know you want to protect yourselves from her insanity.
I am so glad my SO pretty
I am so glad my SO pretty much does the majority of driving for all transfers. BM came into our old house once and pretty much had a breakdown because we had flowers on the bar, and my shoes were by the door and it made her miss him blah blah blah. I told DH that didn't want BM on my property (I am the sole renter even though he helps with bills) and that I was scared she would try to do that again - I have already caught her simply driving by our house...so DH finds some reason to go to town or meet at the gas station to do transfers we only live like 15min away from each other so it just makes everything so much easier and we know that even if we are going to her house yes it is more legwork for DH but there will not be conflict - he parks on the street and if she isn't outside SS goes to the door and knocks DH waves and we leave.