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Where do I come into it?

janeyc's picture

So after a few quiet weeks, last month I was packing and came so close to leaving, we had respect issues, I thought things were finally sorted, silly me, Bf said to me yesterday, oh by the way I've booked two weeks off in August, one of those weeks Sd6 will be staying, oh and Ss15 will be staying next weekend and Sd, where the **** do I come into things, I said to him, who books holidays without speaking to their partners? You should have asked me first, oh he says and looks crushed, why can't he think more? Im furious, last year Sd stayed for a week and it was hell, Daddy lets her do what she wants to, her behaviour has been better lately, largely due to me, he used to say I was too hard on her, yet she loves me to bits, the thing is she lives round the corner, why does it have to be a week? She won't see her friends for a week, Im thinking of ways to not be here during that week, serves him right as far as Im concerned, my training to be a lifestyle coach starts the last week of August, if only it was earlier, Im not sure how I feel about the whole thing, I thought we were moving forward.

janeyc's picture

Well I decided to give him another chance, in many ways he has improved so much, maybe I won't get past this I don't know, what I do know though is that he had better be on his best behaviour for a long time.

janeyc's picture

Ha ha no I have no plans to marry him lol, I would need to see consistant good behaviour for some time before I considered that.

Orange County Ca's picture

Yeah don't get married until all this stuff is sorted out. He's not yet into partnership mode and may never get there. Is his father the "head of the family"? If so then so will this guy.

With luck he's just blind to what he's doing and can be trained to realize it's not all about him. Keep a suitcase at the foot of the bed as a reminder to him.

daysleeper's picture

Hahaha, my SO booked a holiday to ENGLAND for us and SD6 without asking me first. It happens, but I'm sorry that it happened to you. After the months of fighting about it, I think that's the last time that he'll do that, though. }:)

janeyc's picture

Sounds like we are in a similar situation, my Bf has improved a lot, thats why I did'nt leave over this, although hes on thin ice, he did'nt do it to show me who the boss was, he just did'nt think, my Bf used to jump to Sds defence, my Bf wanted me to be Mummy when it suited him, I said no, Im Mummy all the time and I will be listened to and respected as such, so apart from this latest problem, he really has made an effort, you are right, if you don't bring up the subject of your SS is will just become even more sensitive, why they think we attack them I don't know, if my Sd was my bio child, I would be harder on her, he is finally getting that I want to bring her up to respect people and to basically be a decent person.

luchay's picture

My OH does this all the time, changes plans, takes the skids for extra time, arranges leave, all without discussing it with me.

He thinks that talking to me about it first means that he has to ask my permission! I say if you are bringing them into MY house then hell yeah you talk to me first! It affects me and my kids and we have a right to a say in what happens in our house, it's not just about you and yours!

The latest is he informed me on Saturday that he is planning to take a week off in October to go on his daughters school camp. NO discussion. This is what he is doing! WE are in the process of buying a house, we have stuff happening, his pay drops by half when on leave (no overtime) so this affects me apart from the fact that he won't be home! But I don't rate a discussion? So NOT HAPPY!