when is it ok to deny 7yr olds birthday party?
BM has done bday parties for SS8 & SD8 since DH split from her when kids were 2. That's fine, we have our own family and friends party her and BM does school friends. This has never been discussed or negotiated it just is and that's fine by me. So this year SS8 tells me BM said no birthday party for either because they misbehaved. I asked "well what did you do?" She explained that she is slow to get ready and distracts brother when he's getting ready. I assure her BM is probably kidding or they might be having a surprise party. DH and I are on vaccay a week before skids bday and we get 2 frantic VMs from them at 8am saying "mommy won't have a friends party for me I'm scared!" Skids NEVER call us. And BM NEVER disciplines skids. BM tells skids "well maybe your dad should have a party for you because I'm not this year!"(which BM never communicates with us) DH and I are convinced because she is such a narcissistic woman that no one going to party last year hurt her and she can't handle rejection so she didn't have one this year. 2 days before their bdays I arrange friends, food and a bouncy house. Not bad for a last minute step mom. Skids decide they don't want to tell BM because it might hurt her feelings. Its sad at 8 they know how 'touched' she is. Well, one of them slipped and told BM about the party. She sent a message through them saying 'she's mad we aren't following through with her decision to discipline them'. But then she invites her new best friend WITH her 3 kids !!! Is it me or is that crazy? To invite yourself somewhere is one thing, but to invite 4 strangers to my house is another! Luckily her friend didn't show up. Is it me , or would a 7 going on 8 year old have to do something really really bad to have a birthday party taken from them? A birthday party is a huge deal for kids! They didn't do anything horrible like stab anybody! And they are usually behaved when they are here. So is she crazy or am I a bad Step mom?