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When did you stop with the tooth fairy? how old is too old to believe?

PeanutandSons's picture

Ss10 lost another tooth yesterday. He still believes in all the mythical holiday things (santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy) so I slipped $2 under his pillow. Dh mentioned to me that he thinks SS is too old and that he should be told. While I agree that he is really old to still believe and not be questioning it..... I feel bad just ripping the illusion away, and question is he really TOO old? Or just on the older side.

I've thought for the past like 3 or 4 Xmases that 'this is the last one for Santa', but both SS and sd9 show no signs of questioning it. I figured it out and came to my parents about Santa when I was 6. I can't help but feel that they have to be the last kids in their class to still buy into this stuff.

Did your kids stop believing on their own, or did you have to break it to them at some point? I would still get them a 'santa gift' each year, and they'd still get an Easter basket, but I would drop the tooth fairy routine once they know.

How old is too old?

PeanutandSons's picture

Well, SS is extremely immature for his age, so I really think he still believes. SD, she could just he pretending, but it doesn't seem it.

I've had my speach all prepared for two Christmases now on how to answer the 'is Santa real ' question, but they never question it. They ask when they are going to see Santa, sit on his lap, make Xmas lists (that they don't show us, but I find while getting their dirty clothes) for Santa...... I would think that if they didn't really believe that they would feel silly sitting on santas lap at the mall, and actually give us their gift lists....... But they just put it in an envelope marked ForSanta and keep the lists to themselves. And SD was making last minute corrections as late as Xmas eve (after I had told them all my shopping was done)... And SD was asking Santa for things that we've told her she can't have.

How do you start that conversation? Or should we even have that conversation?

herewegoagain's picture

My kiddo is 10, almost 11 and still believes...but he is an aspie and is very innocent too...unlike some other kids that are younger than him that we know. I feel the same, except that honestly, until he comes out and says so, I don't want to really break up his "belief".

PeanutandSons's picture

I feel bad taking it away from them, but at the same time I don't want them teased at school for it. I can.just picture SS at school today telling his classmates that he lost his tooth last night and got money from the toothfairy, and them all snickering behind his back about it.

simmons's picture

I 'believed' much longer than I truly believed, kwim? I noticed quite young that "santa" had the same handwriting as Mom or Dad. It didn't take too long to put 2 & 2 together and figure out that if SANTA was mom & dad, maybe all those OTHER things were mom & dad too.

imjustthemaid's picture

My daughter is 10 and still believes in all of it but has started to question Santa. DH thinks its hilarious that these kids really think a large rabbit sneaks into our house in the middle of the night. When its put that way, its pretty funny!!

My SD was about 12 going on 13 still believing and me and DH thought it was ridiculous but he didn't want to tell her. Thankfully she figured it out finally because I stopped disguising the handwriting.

My mother thought I should have told my daughter about Santa before this past Christmas. I didn't agree. Now I see why I "figured it out" when I was about 7!!

My daughter will be 11 in December. I am thinking by then she will know the truth just from the other kids in school talking about it.

Agged and Fragged's picture

I'm just really surprised that none of the kids at school have blown it for them yet. Usually before third grade some other kid blabs (or teases them for still believing).

PeanutandSons's picture

I know!! Like I said, ive been waiting for the questions to start for years, but they haven't come. Which makes me wonder if they are the butt of jokes.

Agged and Fragged's picture

Well, kids can be both canny and have kind of screwy logic. There's a slight chance that at least the 10 y/o KNOWS the truth but keeps his mouth shut around the adults because he's afraid that if he confesses otherwise he'll lose out on tooth cash/xmas presents.

Just an idea, but I'm a bit of a cynic LOL!

SMof2Girls's picture

This was the case for our SD. In first grade, a Jewish girl in her class told her that Santa wasn't real and that Christmas was strictly a religious holiday for Christians.

She still pretended it was real so her little sister could enjoy Santa, but the beans spilled this last year. Now I have two non-believers Blum 3

Kayhenwal69's picture

Really, I would let them believe until they are ready to question it. I think life for adults would be so much more fun, if we had something magical to believe in like Santa. Smile I remember when my mother told me. I cried and it was very sad.

PeanutandSons's picture

I really don't want to have to tell them. I feel figuring it out on your own is part of the process. There's personal growth in rationally coming to a conclusion on your own that shakes up what you think you know. if I tell him, he's ago just blindly believing whatever he is told

But I fear, left to his own.... SS will believe til he is 15.

jumanji's picture

I know this is an old thread, but since it was bumped up...

My oldest was ~9. When he asked me, I explained to him that, while Santa the character was not alive, the spirit of Santa was very much so. And that each of us who "played" Santa for others was helping spread that spirit. I reminded him that Santa brought (at least in my family) one greatly desired gift that was otherwise a "no go". Might not have been an expensive gift, but something that, for whatever reason, I refused to buy otherwise. And that the point of giving a gift to someone we love was not in getting the credit, but in the joy expressed when opened. So asked him to play along for his little sister. Which he did, admirably.

They're 19 & 21, and we all still get gifts from Santa. The spirit of Santa lives on. Wink

Cocoa's picture

it stopped when bm told ss to save his tooth and take to daddy's so the "tooth fair" can give him a $50 video game. hahahaha! the kid (who is 11) woke up with nothing under his pillow. i told him that he should have done it the day he lost it. tooth fairies don't like old teeth. i think he got it. i know, shame on me. seriously though, it should stop when it's not cute anymore. it's cute with a 6 year old, ridiculous when the kid starts thinking it's a mini christmas.

SMof2Girls's picture

It was similar for us growing up as well. We found out and it was no big deal. I'm not sure where this notion that children will be shattered or scarred when they find out Santa/EB/TF aren't real comes from.

proudstepmommy's picture

I remember finding out when I was about 7... someone at school had told me, and of course I ran home to mom & dad and they told me the "truth". I was very upset but I had to keep the secret alive for my younger brother & sister.

SD is 10. She still "believes"... at least that's what she tells us. She was very confused this Christmas though, I asked her why... and she said she didn't get any gifts from Santa at BM's, and that she only had one gift under the tree from BM... I tried to explain to SD that it's not about quantity but quality that matters... yada yada yada... Then I come to find out that BM told DH this sob story about her paycheck not clearing and not being able to get SD more than one gift (that couldn't have cost more than $10 to begin with)... then we come to find out that BM & her new DH were going out partying & to concerts all the time... so hmmm... I know her new DH doesn't have much $... so my DH and I are thinking she's back to her old tricks and spoiling herself rotten. (this is also the same BM who got SD a birthday gift 2 months late!).

I tried to explain to SD that maybe Santa just dropped off all of her gifts at our house so that he could save some time, and she just nodded her head and changed the subject.

I have a feeling that we won't have a believer too much longer.

dledden's picture

WAIT, you said SS, this isn't even your kid, so why isn't your DH handling this instead of you? HIS kid, right? Why should you be made to be the WICKED STEPMOM for telling the kid there is no tooth fairy.

My oldest bio is 10 and figured out this past xmas that santa was ME! my skid who's about to be 10 and my younger bio about to be 8, both still believe.

witsend71's picture

One of my students was 12 or 13 and in 7th grade when the rest of the kids were making fun of him, so I broke it to him...and he was ticked. I think his parents were upset with me.