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What is wrong with BM?

crystaloo's picture

BM has been through some things (she is widowed and also divorced) however her behavior just blows my mind. If she has a new boyfriend she will disappear and blow everyone off for weeks at a time including her kids (they are teenagers now and according to her new bf they can "talk care of themselves and will be ok") There are several times she has cancelled plans and left the state (not answered her calls or texts from her kids or anyone for that matter) if she is with a new beau. Her kids have wanted to stop going over to her place anyways. They say when she is there all she does is watch tv and ignore them or sleep. They say it's a waste of time and that's when she does answer her door. She will ignore people for days and weeks at a time and people will worry about her only to go over to her place and find she is fine and watching tv. She recently lost her job and isn't telling anyone why. She has been tight lipped about the whole thing but did ask her teenage daughter to borrow a large sum of money (which she doesn't have). This is strange since BM just bought new furniture, has her flooring redone in her house (which apparently didn't need redone) and a new car. She now ignores her kids because they didn't let her borrow money and they no longer want to go over to her place. The odd thing is every holiday she goes overboard with gifts that she cannot afford for everyone. I do feel sorry for SD because anytime she calls her mom for advice or just to talk she either never answers the phone or says "I have to go bye " and shows zero interest in her. Wth is wrong with this woman?

CLove's picture

It will bite you...

JRI's picture

She's immature, lazy and needy.  Our BM ditched her kids, too, to party with her bf.  I feel sorry for her kids.  Sad.

crystaloo's picture

The relationship with her boyfriend didn't work out so now she's wanting to spend time with her kids again. The problem is whenever they call she doesn't answer or texts randomly then disappears and ghosts them. She gave them keys to her house so they can let themselves into her home if she doesn't answer the door however when they go over to see her she either sleeps or watches tv and pretty much ignores them. 

AgedOut's picture

you will never know what's wrong with her. and that's okay. it sounds like her kids have figured her out, they know she's not worth bothering for. 

Rags's picture

.. in spite of the crap served up by the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.

Part of that was providing him with the facts to counter the toxic PASing crap attempted by the SpermClan. Part of it was setting the standards of behavior and performance required in our home and family, and part of it was setting the example of a quality adult relationship, professionalism in careers, and having his back.

He is thriving as an adult.  

Hopefully your SKids will too since they have their father and you as positive examples and influences juxaposed to the example of their train wreck of a BM.

ESMOD's picture

on drugs? a con artist? embezzler? immature? escort? who knows.. have you checked your state's court case listings?

crystaloo's picture

I can't find anything on her besides some minor traffic violations and her being sued by creditors. She's too old to be an escort and I doubt she is on drugs unless they are prescribed. One of her ex boyfriends was a big pothead and alcoholic but I don't think he did heavy street drugs. I think she is mentally ill. It is possible she might be a combination of depressed/bipolar and/or borderline/sociopathic. I know she goes to a psychiatrist but I am not sure it's helping.

Losingit321's picture

I have an awful BM- didn't want her kid yet called cps etc - lots of BS over the years.  I decided to stop trying to figure out what's wrong w/ her.  It causes us too much stress especially when it comes to a mom seeing another mom do this to thier kids.  

Do as little as possible for the stepkids.... that's how I am these days because as much of a piece of work BM is I know the kids will always chose her... which is fine- but this is why you won't see me offering to do anything but bare necessities.