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What would you do if your ex called you very late at night while you were with your new squeeze?

readingandlearning's picture

You are with your new squeeze and your ex calls you very late at night out of the blue one night (this never happens). You haven't spoken in weeks. They don't know you are seeing someone. What would you do when you see it ringing?

- Switch off your phone immediately

-Pick up immediately and tell them to stop calling then hang up

-Let it keep ringing until they eventually stop without responding at all

-Let it keep ringing several times then pick up, hang up and text them asking what they want (when they say they miss you they don't respond at all)

-Don't pick up and text them, ask them what they want and when they say they miss you, you tell them you are seeing someone and to stop calling

 

Also should you tell them you are seeing somoene and to stop calling you when they tell you they miss you so they move on with their life?  

If you do not want to hear from them anymore would you tell them you are seeing someone and to stop calling? And block their number?

 

susanm's picture

I have never been big on talking to someone to tell them that you are no longer going to be talking to them.  Seems like opening the door to pointless drama to me.  You have broken up and so have purportedly had your final conversation.  Just block the number.  Should he get through on another one, politely ask him to stop calling, tell him you are hanging up now, and then do so.  Blcok that number too.  Repeat as necessary.  Done.

STaround's picture

If my kids were with me, would let it go to VM.  If kids with him, would pick up

Sparkl3s's picture

If there are no children involved block their number and delete the message. If the harassment doesn't stop I'd get a new phone number. 
 

If there are kids involved I'd text back "are the kids okay?" When they say yes ignore them, until they got the hint.
 

Petronella's picture

I would turn off the phone immediately, apologize to my date for being so stupid as to leave it on, and get back to what I was doing. The next day, I'd take the time to block the ex on all channels. 

What did YOU do about it, OP?

readingandlearning's picture

I would switch off the phone immediately and not let it ring. And yes I would block them.

ExcellenceToolkit's picture

 

If my date was with me,I would not pick up or even listen to the voicemail. I would never pick up their call in front of my date. that's just plain rude and disrespectful. They wouldn't even get the chance to say they miss me.

If kids were involved, I would trust them to handle the emergency. Kid needs to go to the hospital? take them to the hospital. Kid is dying? eventually someone will be calling me. I don't need my ex to give me that news.

Petronella's picture

"If kids were involved, I would trust them to handle the emergency. Kid needs to go to the hospital? take them to the hospital. Kid is dying? eventually someone will be calling me. I don't need my ex to give me that news."

Thank you for pointing this out! I really feel that there are vanishingly few reasons why a phone call from a co-parent ever needs to be responded to in the moment. There are very few true emergencies. 

RAJ C's picture

If I am on a date with my SO I would not pick up the phone for an unexpected call from other than my kid, my brother, or my parents (all of them would know not to call late night if it is not an emergency that they require my help). Anyone can just message me if it is an emergency and then I decide if I call back or text back.

In case of my EX definitely would not pick up the phone, and if there are kids involved I would make sure she knows that in case of a late night emergency a text message is enough to let me know and I can then decide how to manage it.

 

Winterglow's picture

If I were on a date, my phone would be switched OFF from the start. We don't need to be contactable 24/7. 

Rags's picture

Pretend like you accidentally answered while having loud sex.  That should solve the X calling problem.

 

 

Diablo

 

My XW called a couple of times when my bride and I were first dating.  She was all infuriated that I was insisting that she buy me out of the home we purchased three months before she ran off with her Fortune 500 executive geriatric sugar/baby daddy.   She was trying to get me to sign a quit claim deed and accept a $10 cashiers check.  My bride heard the XW go into full banshee shriek mode.  We both laughed our asses off while I had my XW on mute.

Two of my DW's exes called to profess their undying love for her in the first year we were married.  One was the SpermIdiot and the other was an XBF that knocked up DW's 15yo cousin.  He reply to each of them was short and sweet.  "I'm married.... CLICK!"

The Spermidiot called a few times over the years crying that he wanted his family back.  Interestingly that usually corresponded with a CS increase or DW graduating from college, grad school or getting her CPA certification.  He was looking for a sugar mama.   SpermGrandHag commented to SS in several occasions the my DW was the only woman the SpermIdiot ever dated that was a good person.  She said that in front of all 4 of the SpermIdiot's spawn.

The direct approach is the best way to deal with the X that is pining for you.