take the card away & don't ever give a man a credit card with your name on it.

Take the folder and open it in front of him. He should be sitting & you standing looking down at him and tell him sweetly that you found these bills. Let him talk. Don't interrupt. You'll know what you have to do when you get his answer.

I wouldn't stay with a man that lied to me about money. It is wayyyy too dangerous. I have a responsibility to take care of myself so that I can live in a calm and uncluttered environment--- both emotionally amd financially uncluttered.

I hope you can work things out. Trust but verify. Don't pay for him, let him get himself out of his own pickles. Be kind and loving but let him take care of you!

His broke ass can't even pay his bills and has to use YOUR credit card and then lies to you about and then gets made cuz you read his email. OMG does he have NERVE or what? He is just saying he wants a divorce cuz he is pissed at you right now that is all that is. If I don't feel something is right I will ask my FH straight out and if his answer doesn't jive - this happened to me in the past I will find out myself. thankfully this only happened ONCE. AND to top it off he pulls this shit on you and you are pregnant. He needs a good ole fashion asskicking. Don't fall for that divorce crap and get yourself all worked up. Tell him he can pay his OWN attorney bills and take your cc back. It's his mess let him deal with it. Tell him if you want a divorce fine but I would like to try to work this out in couples counseling first and see what are options are. Do no in any way shape or form let him turn this around on you. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing. HUGS!

so he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar and now he doesnt want to come home and man up?? he wants to pout in a corner.
you had every right to go look -it is YOUR credit card that is being used.
I have caught my FH in a few lies, and he did not like that I found out about it but he did not say I want a divorce cuz you caught me red handed..
Oh aka...he wants you to feel guilty in order to take the blame off of him.
divorce ??? maybe- maybe not, if he doesnt want to work with you to make things right then yes divorce his azz.
whatever you decide be true to yourself.

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

but he was also taking advantage of you too. Yep, he doesn't want to come home because he will have to face the music, and he doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions. Does he actually think you have no right to inquire about these charges on your credit card?

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that we seem to have a rash of lying spouses recently? Is this like a sign of spring or something?

What a jerk. Does he know you are pregnant? I would let him know that there will be more CS for him to pay and to knock the crap off and act like an adult and come home and face the music.

I would also point out that if the cops were involved.. they would have a problem w/him, NOT you. Good lord.. love how they try and turn it on you when they are caught in the wrong.

When a man is not trustworthy you should not be married to him.

This is serious. I would get out and worry about everything else later. Who knows what else he's lied about? Are there credit accts defaulting everywhere that you don't even know exist?
I hope you can get support and get out. What is with these men- getting caught lying and turning it around on the honest straight forward spouse?

Maybe I have too high of standards, but lying and cheating are the two things I would cut ties over. Not a little white lie per say, but the bigger stealing from your credit type FOR SURE. And he throws divorce out there to scare you into silence or what?

I'd call him on it and call my atty to file.

"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert

you are on a roll girl! LOL
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

You are in a difficult situation right now. All the advice above is good advice. What obviously complicates things is that you are pregnant. I would ask yourself to look inside you and what you need and want in a spouse and marriage and what you can tolerate without loosing yourself in the process. I don't know if DH has done anything like that before but it is not a good sign. I think back with my FH and he would lie about everything from what he ate for breakfast to how many times he went to the bathroom during the day. I tried to tell him that he was breaking my trust but he continued to lie. I analyzed everything he did and said and didn't trust him. After quite some time I realized it was not the right way to live.

Has he ever lied to you before that you know of? It doesn't speak to his good side that he is avoiding you especially after lying to you.

If you haven't already call the lawyer and let them know that you do not want your card charged for any additional fees. I would also have the number of the card changed and check your credit report to see if any cards were opened in your name and he is using it or if he opened joint accounts that you are not aware of.

Please keep us posted.

I think he has some nerve trying to spin this around. If there is no trust you've got to bust sister. Get the heck out. If you feel uncomfortable heading for the hills now, cut off your card and get more secure. Get him out of your expenses and out of having access to your life.

....let him make you feel guilty about checking his email. If he is choosing to lie to you then you have no choice but to get to the truth on your own! This behavior is so typical of a liar! He's probably more embarrassed that he got caught than mad that you snooped...or at least he should be!

I am sorry honey. I think he is just trying to deflect and scare you with this divorce talk, but maybe he is worried you will find something else too? Protect yourself girl! Check your credit, today!!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

And bit more defensive than he should be. If he has nothing to hide why is he freaking out like that? Hmmm...

only hide things when there is something to hide.

Since he's on a business trip, I would file for divorce and leave. Let him come home to an empty house. Also, definitely check your credit report ASAP to see if there are any other accounts open that you don't know about!