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What type of mother does this?

pwoodlson's picture

It is her teenage daughter's birthday (she is 19 and no longer lives at home). Her mother calls her insisting she come over to her house to celebrate her birthday so she can take her out to dinner with her (mother's) new husband. Daughter has the flu and bronchitis, is sick and expresses she does not feel well. Her mother still insists she come over anyways so she does. When daughter arrives the mother's husband sees how sick the daughter is and tells her to not worry about going out for her birthday, they will take her another time. Her mother does not seem sympathetic and leaves with her hubby and goes out to her favorite restaurant without her daughter (keep in mind it is the mother's favorite restaurant, not her daughters even though it is her birthday) and it is her daughter's birthday, not hers. What type of person does this?

shamds's picture

who makes it all about her. The intention was never there to celebrate the daughters bday but it was to make it about bio mum. 

We all know when it comes to a choice between her child and her current husband or lover, kid will get tossed to the side like nothing.

there was no “no my daughter came all the way and i’m having dinner or lunch with her! She isn’t being kicked out of it because you don’t like her being around or something “

Thumper's picture

I hope the 19 year old feels better.  What she has can take weeks to recover. NO joke.

What kind of mom...pfft, A.H. that is what kind of mom. BM should have taken the poor girl some warm soup. PLEASE if this is your sd---teach her it is OK to say  NO to anyone who does not show empthay and compassion.

 i bet this mom is one of those who has  picture frames with the words "FAMILY" all over her house. And she tells everyone Blood is thicker than water---FAMILY FIRST----

 

 

pwoodlson's picture

Yep. She likes the title of mom and flaunts it but when her kids need something she is no where to be found. She also has a son who is autistic whom she never talks about. She will only talk about her other two kids to people it is as if he does not exist. Having a phone conversation with her is impossible. She says what she wants then hangs up or does not answer. She is like this even with her kids.

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

What kind of adult with the flu agrees to go to their parents house, birthday or not?

It may be just me, but at 19 I was spending birthdays, holidays, everyday, away from my parents. -In the military.

If on leave I didn't want to go home, I didn't.

So she agreed to go over - instead of saying "no, I'm sick", then when she got there her mom said, "oh, you're sick, we're going to go out to dinner, you rest, we'll celebrate with you when we get home".

I don't see the big deal.

markwvualum's picture

The type of adult who was raised and controlled by an entitled self centered BM and feels guilted into not be able to say no to her without facing consequences I am guessing. I am also guessing they lived in the same town and are not in the military. 

caitlinj's picture

I was thinking this too. She is unable to say no because there mother is overbearing and manipulative yet emotionally inept therefore she is also possibly  emotionally stunted for her age.

CLove's picture

Does she have her dress picked out yet?

AFTER SD told her of her illness she still insisted, and then went to HER favorite spot.

What that tells me is that she simply wanted to make a show of things, and cover the obligatory birthday celebration, but without really doing it. It might have been setup that way.

caitlinj's picture

I was thinking the same thing. She wanted to make a production out of it plus eat at her favorite place. She doesn’t seem to care much about her daughter.