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What power do I have in this situation?

Warwick's picture

DP has 50/50 residency of his DD.

DP changed his DDs school in January due to no longer being able to afford private school fees (an occupation order stripped him of his home). After changing his daughter's school to a very good state school the court ordered that he must collect his daughter from school every day (3.15pm) and deliver her to her mother at 5.30pm as her mother does not drive (the school is a 20min bus ride away from her). This was said to be a temporary order to be reassessed in a court hearing in April.

The court hearing was today and the judge has decided that nothing will change. So essentially, we have SD every single day and cannot ever plan a weekday together as a couple. (We have her every other weekend too).

I am 22 weeks pregnant and was looking forward to our final months together as a couple before having a newborn. This has been well and truly shat on.

DP doesn't seem to care; I feel as though I am just a vessel to him - that he's not actually interested in the relationship. I just don't know what to do. What CAN I do? Or do I just have to lye back and accept it like a good incubator.

Acratopotes's picture

it's 50/50 thus SD is there every second week-end... why can't you do something on the week-end SD is not there?
Weekdays is not for playing, and well he drops her of at 5:30 why only then? Private school would've been out normal time... why this change and why did DP not object about it?

If your DP already feels like this, putting SD ahead of you, I do not see a happy future for you.

twoviewpoints's picture

You have two bio children of your own already , so what did you plan on doing with these two that aren't SD. What are the plans for these other two while you and your DP spend the last part of you're pregnancy together as a couple only before the newborn arrives?

It silly to think a man with a child who has his daughter part time (50/50) and a lady already with two bio-children part time would think they were going to get all this couple alone time.

January 23, 2017 post :

"I also have 2 bio children that I see part time, so am curious how disengagement would work in this context. "

As to the school pick-up, it's your Dp who changed her school and who selected the new one. Knowing BM does not drive. Obviously the court feels DP can now transport his child. Not unreasonable. How did the child get back and forth and who kept child from after-school until 5:30 while attending her private school?

Goodluck's picture

Warwick, what do you think would be the best arrangement?

Alone time for parents is rare.

If you want alone time is it best to not have kids and most defiantly do not date a man with kids.

Snowflake's picture

You get every other weekend free. Consider yourself lucky, because after the baby you will be getting no free weekends.