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What makes a good dad? Feedback from dad's would be great!

stepmom008's picture

It saddens me that I sometimes wonder if my boyfriend is a good dad. I know that he is but there are times that I wonder why he does what he does. I was alone with SD9 all weekend because he was working and I discovered something. She is perfectly capable of getting things done when she’s with me but when he’s around all of a sudden she’s completely helpless and needy. I taught her how to make eggs and she’s fine doing it with me but when he’s around she cries and says she can’t do it. Before she went to bed on Sunday night, I asked her to take care of all of her crap she had spread out all over the kitchen table. She began doing it but as soon as he walked into the room she stopped and waited while HE put everything away. We’re supposed to be on the same page with her being responsible for her things but how can she do that if he’s going to do everything for her? It’s so frustrating and he just doesn’t see it, doesn’t have a clue. And that puts me in between a rock and a hard place because if I say anything about it, I’m just picking on her and being unreasonable. How do I reconcile this with myself? Just keep quiet and let it go?

onehappygirl's picture

I have had this problem. The youngest in our family, KittyCat (SD9), has always been the baby and has been treated like one by her mother and at one time DH. She would be very helpful with me and then fall into helplessness when DH was around. At her mother's house, her mother does EVERYTHING for her, and if she doesn't do it, she makes KittyCat's brother do it for her.

Now, I don't hesitate to call her out on it. Starr (BD9) is only three months older than KittyCat, and she is expected to do and does everything asked of her. There's no reason that KittyCat can't do it also.

Don't worry about being the bad guy. A little shame never hurt anyone. Call her out on it. Ask her why she is able to do something when it's just the two of you but is helpless when Daddy shows up. You've got to get over worrying about being the bad guy or you're going to end up with a kid who is completely useless.


Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!